30 DAYS WOOO

Congrats dude! Keep going. Can't wait to reach your streak and feel what you felt.

I'm appalled to hear that your withdrawal lasted well into 20 days. I'm just on day 4 and withdrawal is already taking a huge toll on my daily life.
 
Ibnu Adam said:
Congrats dude! Keep going. Can't wait to reach your streak and feel what you felt.

I'm appalled to hear that your withdrawal lasted well into 20 days. I'm just on day 4 and withdrawal is already taking a huge toll on my daily life.
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It really varies from person to person. My sex/porn addiction is obviously a bit more sever than the average nofapper. I had also been an addict from a very young age - always living down the end of a rabbit hole in danger control whether that would be food, games, porn, drugs. I did it destructively. The first week is tough more so for the cravings, you gotta get past your sensitive brain from your last relapse. Then the withdrawals will start to come but just remember a few things
1. It's all part of the natural process
2. Fantasizing (although you can try to avoid it), cravings, negative/self destructive thoughts, urges are all part of the reboot process and it does not mean you relapsed.
3. The lust of the mind may take years to take away however withdrawals may be there for a few months than gone.
4. Time passes regardless of which road you choose. Choose to go through the hard road so you end up strong and happier for a life time as opposed to the easy road which just is going to make you life harder and harder.
 
NewLifeForGood86 said:
Thanks for the advice and support. In fact I’ll start from today until next Friday. That’s one week. Since it’s monk mode, I won’t think of fantasies, I of course won’t edge even the slightest and I will cut off from electronics, apart from working hours (8-5) since I need technology on work. But before 8 in the morning and after five in the evening it will be no technology zone, unless I receive a call. I’ll mention the effects of 1 week monk mode in my post in the success stories section in a week.

Good luck to you too. I just read your recent post that urges, social anxiety and negative thoughts are bothering you today. Don’t give up. And stay on track. Each day and each hour that passes brings you one step closer to your goal. Stay in the game. It WILL be worth it. And the pain will subside. Pain is temporary but your achievements as a result of continuing strong will be long lasting.
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Great ! Send me a link of your story and be honest. Your threads on here are anonymous so let out some of your most shameful things it will truly inspire others. It sounds like your on the road to freedom my friend. And your words are truly inspirational I appreciate them. Looking forward to seeing you on the success forum! Good way to start the new year!
 
monkmode24/7 said:
Hey guys I can finally say I have successfully done 30 days of nofap complete. No masturbating, no fantasising, no ejaculating, no orgasm, limited internet use/phone use except for communication.

Brief rundown..

How bad was my addiction?

  • Started masturbating multiple times a day since the age of 14. Escalated to almost every single fetish/type of pornography.
  • Tried quitting for 3 years
  • Longest steak 54 days ( included glimpses and masturbating )
  • Was stuck trying to get rid of a porn induced fetish for transexuals/penises for 5-6 years.
  • Relapsed with a transexual prostitute.
  • Used to let my dog lick me off once when I was young.
  • Tried every single form of masturbation/way to get a hit
  • Would constantly relapse trying to perform self oral and would be basically stiff neck and stiff back for weeks.

What did I do to try to get out of it?
  • Researching, buying books, forums, accountability partner, support groups, sponsors, eliminating all paraphernalia, changing all cues in house, changing house, removing technology, blocking porn from my internet.

What were the withdrawal symptoms?
  • First week: Intense cravings/flashbacks. Intense sensitization, objectification of women, compulsion to use very high. Anxiety high.

  • 2-3 weeks: Intense anxiety and despair. Super negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, extreme self hatred. Fears exacerbated. Suicidal thoughts. Basically every negative feeling under the sun; shame, guilt, depression, anxiety. Just remembered they were withdrawals and that eventually they would pass.

  • 3 -4 weeks: Anxiety and depression severely decreased. Had sexual dreams which made me completely exhausted three days in a row. Massive headaches. Severe cravings. Memory improving. Confidence slowly rising. Clearing in mental space and cognitive function becoming more clearer. Understanding deeper nuances. Depression nearly gone. Symptoms improving each day.
My thoughts:

I never thought I would accomplish so much this year but I have. Relapsing with a transexual sex worker after so many years of trying to remove shameful fetishes I finally surrendered to my addiction and sought help. It was the best thing I had ever done.

Every day I reach out to others and connect to them. Really, with addiction, transformation is possible but you must be willing to accept an entirely different paradigm than the one your in with the addiction.

Now my cognitive function is so good, fluid and working well. I wonder if this is how it feels to be normal or if its a mixture of: semen retention, dopamine restoration, increased testosterone and sexual de-conditioning. However I am learning more about myself than ever before, accepting my self for my biggest flaws and changing the way I think about life completely.

Women are no longer seen a materialistic thing. I am able to engage with others, give more and have longer conversations which feels good. Neediness is decreased, people are respecting me more.

I can't say it enough but I honestly feel great. Definitely the lessons you learn from NoFap set you apart from the crowd. I can't imagine how many people are caught in the trap of their addictions. Still, I am very cautious and always on high alert when cravings/withdrawals are going to come around the corner. Especially when things are going well and making sure to go to my support group and connect with another whenever anything happens that I may or may not find triggering e.g
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Damn good fam. Thats how you do it.. Congrats
 
Day 34​
Day 5 of week 4

Symptoms/experience:
High social anxiety, wet dreams, over thinking, high cravings, tenseness in my face. Had two good periods of the day where for a brief moment I felt a bit sensitive to life. Enjoyed looking at the clouds and sunset. Then I when arrived at my parents house, who are hoarders speaking to them make me anxious, stressed and went down hill from there. Another moment was today after having a few realisations I forgave myself for a lot of past events. After that understanding my withdrawals seemed to ease and I felt a period of comfortability with others. Still anxious but less. Beginning to think whether this is permanent because the social anxiety has been apart of my life so much and all these withdrawals have been there for so long that I have forgotten what life is like without my extreme porn addiction. Memory and concentration very poor at the moment; could not even read out loud without repeated words like 4 or 5 times, skipping and going back and forth to recheck mistakes I made in sentences. Headaches. Wish time would speed up already so I can find out.. Went to the gym which was good and bought healthy foods.
 
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DAY 35

DAY 1 OF WEEK 5

Mornings are quite triggering for me. With morning wood every morning I am going to make it a new habit to move my laptop to another room. I have no problem once I am up but when I get lazy and lie around in my bed and let my thoughts fly that's when cravings occur. Also restricting my technology use. Have been watching a lot of youtube videos - they are fucking addictive like nothing else. And even Facebook. It's so easy to get carried away and I believe for myself they really are destructive on my life if not managed very very seriously. It's no wonder why the people who make these programs, apps, websites, tech are not letting their kids go near it or using it themselves.


Apart from that feel pretty good - got a good day ahead of me; hanging out w/ friends , going to a party , going to be a good start to a new year. Happy New Years peeps.
 
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DAY 36 ​
DAY 2 OF WEEK 5
Happy new year everyone! It's great to start the new year with an accomplishment. My days are filled with a lot of social anxiety, depression and over thinking. I am not going to delete my initial post because I was feeling good at the time but the withdrawals for this addiction are really sticking for me. There is no fairy tale "I did nofap for 30 days and then I was cured. That is partly bullshit or at least not totally true. In honesty the benefits come and go and certain aspects become slightly more consistent but rebooting is a VERY gradual process and takes a lot of time. Way more than you would expect. For me I am coming to terms with the fact that I cannot expect NOFAP to solve my problems. Yes a lot of my problems are due to withdrawals and the destructive consequence of addictions (brain changes etc. ), however life is short, and time is passing one way or another and I need to implement routines and rituals that will increase my chances of staying positive, having a clear mind etc.

I honestly believe for me, because my case was so extreme, for so long and escalated so quick. I honestly think it will take me a year for me to completely be back to normal. One year completely abstaining, and porn free.

It's becoming a lot easier in certain aspects and the distinction from what I do not want became very clear to me today when a friend of mine relapsed with many prostitutes, did all sorts of substances and pushed himself deeper into debt just because of this addiction. It really has the potential to ruin lives and has ruined my life way too much.

Wish I could say I am confident, happier etc. on day 36 but in all honesty I am really socially anxious, more clear minded, over thinking, depressed , unmotivated etc.

I am pretty certain that these are withdrawals but when they happen every bloody day since I quit you start to think... damn... is this what I am without porn in my life? Scary. Super desensitised too; nothing excites me at all. Went to a beach, party; there were sparklers at the new year and I literally could not feel an ounce of emotion except for deep despair and depression. Could not enjoy a conversation, speak to girls confidently. Fucking tough.
 
It's all a phase I hope, I'm going through very tough times too, but hey, it's and addiction, we were doing an activity to cover something that we didn't like or causes us pain, and now we don't do that anymore and feel hopeless. I speak about this in my journal too, in case you want to take a look or something. Maybe you find parts of yourself in parts of my journey.
 
monkmode24/7 said:
Hey guys I can finally say I have successfully done 30 days of nofap complete. No masturbating, no fantasising, no ejaculating, no orgasm, limited internet use/phone use except for communication.

Brief rundown..

How bad was my addiction?

  • Started masturbating multiple times a day since the age of 14. Escalated to almost every single fetish/type of pornography.
  • Tried quitting for 3 years
  • Longest steak 54 days ( included glimpses and masturbating )
  • Was stuck trying to get rid of a porn induced fetish for transexuals/penises for 5-6 years.
  • Relapsed with a transexual prostitute.
  • Used to let my dog lick me off once when I was young.
  • Tried every single form of masturbation/way to get a hit
  • Would constantly relapse trying to perform self oral and would be basically stiff neck and stiff back for weeks.

What did I do to try to get out of it?
  • Researching, buying books, forums, accountability partner, support groups, sponsors, eliminating all paraphernalia, changing all cues in house, changing house, removing technology, blocking porn from my internet.

What were the withdrawal symptoms?
  • First week: Intense cravings/flashbacks. Intense sensitization, objectification of women, compulsion to use very high. Anxiety high.

  • 2-3 weeks: Intense anxiety and despair. Super negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, extreme self hatred. Fears exacerbated. Suicidal thoughts. Basically every negative feeling under the sun; shame, guilt, depression, anxiety. Just remembered they were withdrawals and that eventually they would pass.

  • 3 -4 weeks: Anxiety and depression severely decreased. Had sexual dreams which made me completely exhausted three days in a row. Massive headaches. Severe cravings. Memory improving. Confidence slowly rising. Clearing in mental space and cognitive function becoming more clearer. Understanding deeper nuances. Depression nearly gone. Symptoms improving each day.
My thoughts:

I never thought I would accomplish so much this year but I have. Relapsing with a transexual sex worker after so many years of trying to remove shameful fetishes I finally surrendered to my addiction and sought help. It was the best thing I had ever done.

Every day I reach out to others and connect to them. Really, with addiction, transformation is possible but you must be willing to accept an entirely different paradigm than the one your in with the addiction.

Now my cognitive function is so good, fluid and working well. I wonder if this is how it feels to be normal or if its a mixture of: semen retention, dopamine restoration, increased testosterone and sexual de-conditioning. However I am learning more about myself than ever before, accepting my self for my biggest flaws and changing the way I think about life completely.

Women are no longer seen a materialistic thing. I am able to engage with others, give more and have longer conversations which feels good. Neediness is decreased, people are respecting me more.

I can't say it enough but I honestly feel great. Definitely the lessons you learn from NoFap set you apart from the crowd. I can't imagine how many people are caught in the trap of their addictions. Still, I am very cautious and always on high alert when cravings/withdrawals are going to come around the corner. Especially when things are going well and making sure to go to my support group and connect with another whenever anything happens that I may or may not find triggering e.g
Click to expand...
You're name says it all. ;)
 
DAY 37​
DAY 3 OF WEEK 5

Today I feel good. My stress and tension has alleviated a lot. I am able to feel my emotions a lot more. There is a bit of fear/confusion sometimes actually because I am so not used to feeling my emotions it but I am feeling it. Also recently (this has been more over the last few days) I really realised that I cannot blame myself for the way I have reacted in the past. Especially in relation to the addictions I picked up. I was a kid trying to mend a broken heart, confused why I wasn't loved and my parents did not know what they were doing but they were doing the best they could. And I cannot blame myself thus for where I am in my life, what I feel and what I am going through. The feelings are normal and I have a right to feel them. It's okay.

Today I feel more sensitive to life, actually the first day or two where I am actually more motivated to get up and go do stuff. So fucking tired of screens and sitting around doing nothing. Want to go the gym, talk to people more etc. Spoke to people today with much less anxiety, very little at certain points.. high at others...

I don't want to get too attached though to these experiences though. They're great and I like them but I never know what's around the corner in my recovery, I could get worse again and go back to experiencing those intense withdrawals. I feel like though by this Sunday and/or next I will start to see some improvement. Honestly taking this one day at a time. There is a really cute girl at my work who I drove to the station the other day (during some torturous withdrawals but I said fuck it ) . We've spoken a couple of times. I think she's pretty cute. I am going to keep at it, feel like we could actually get along.

Eating healthy is definitely a plus too. My goals at the moment is to make it to next next Sunday, keep going to my meetings every week, take it one day at a time, start picking up new good habits to rewire my brain to positive rewards.
 
DAY 38​
DAY 4 OF WEEK 5
Feel much more clearer, anxiety is nearly gone - actually feeling a weird nostalgia a couple times throughout today in the morning especially of what I felt like being in early high school maybe just around the time when I first encountered porn. Started getting a coupe of memories and remembering what I felt like back then which was weird.. Speaking to people much confidently/normally.

Less fluctuating, more consistent and enjoying conversations a lot more. Anxiety is still there a bit but I could feel good talking to people. Still, there is a bit of, what the book I am reading called " The six pillars of self esteem" calls it, 'Happiness anxiety'. Where because my self esteem was so low I kept telling myself that I could not stay happy, prolong it etc. Basically limiting beliefs.

But I have been courageously pushing myself to stick with these feelings of feeling good/okay and affirming myself that it is okay to feel this and that I can make friends which I can and I can feel love and I am ofcourse capable of love and relationships.

Been eating healthy, no inflammatory foods, more cruciferous plants, no refined sugar/carbohydrates, meal prepping etc. Been resting. Last night I meditated. Felt great afterwards. Cold showers - which I have been doing for a while. Today I am going to get some excercise and go to a meeting if I can for my support groups.

Head is clear. Speaking to women with much less anxiety. Still there was a bit but I feel myself gradually getting better.

Honestly feel like this is the effects being removed at the moment. I don't know if this up and up and up for ages but I am definitely enjoying things more as I should be.

Don't get me wrong, not cured but feeling great, clear and much more focused. Motivation is back. Feeling a lot of nostalgia. More keen to connect with others than usual. Had some anxiety through out the day but not much.
 
That’s a tremendous story of tough addictive behaviour that you have done well to overcome. Truly enlightened at what is possible if you set your mind to it and turn your back on destructive behaviour.

I want to be able to have a healthy relationship with my girlfriend (with no porn or masturbation) and think that a reboot will be the way I go. It ls early days for me so I’m easing myself into this, but inspired by your account.
 
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