35 and Older Accountability Group

Day three, and the urges are strong. Challenging times.
I’ve made it through before, and I’ll make it through again.

 

Hold on buddy . Urges will pass . Put ON your emergency plan . Mines is :
1 during the day - get out of your room immediately. Look for people and company . Stay on public places .
2 meditation - devert your mind every time its thinking for pmo.
3 delay without ending - tell to yourself tomorow . And tomorow will never come
4 repeat mantras - pmo is not an option , i want to be the best version of myself , i dont want to die fapper and so on!
5 before sleep - put something restricting on , making it dificult to touch yourself
6 if you cant sleep , dress on and make a walk , take a cold shower or excersize a bit . Take a sleeping pill if you want to sleep quicker or bizy tomorow . Dont worry , it will happen just few times in a year , but its more important to stay sober .
7 Have a winner mentality and dont pay attention to tbe cravings of your body . Eventually they will pass and leave you in peace .
Good luck fella

 

Checking in..usual urges in the morning but still on monk mode!

 

Thanks! I’m pretty stocked.

 

The answer is in the next chapter... something along the lines of become Christ-like, voluntarily embrace suffering and self-sacrificial love, and see what happens.

 

Very interesting TEDx @GottaBFree , thanks for share it!

 

Well done @Timber!! It is a great step, announcing a walk that will go far!

 

monk mode!
Go on @NICEDUDE !

 

Check in....
I’m sick and I have to work this weekend. Just going to try to survive this weekend.

 

check in saturday

 

Thanks brother, keep going strong in the Lord. Blessings.

 

Checking in, day 21, 3 weeks. No major urges, my mind is strongly focused on this path. Noticed yesterday, that I checked out some butts, but didnt create any fantasies. So all good. One thing that I think is neccessary for sucsess, is avoiding sexual thoughts and fantasies. No lustful thoughts when looking at women. They are there, but not for your brain to create some porn scenes. Only porn that is allowed, that you and your partner are the stars and no cameras needed. Intimacy between two people. And if you dont have a partner, then its monk mode for you, nothing less.

 

This is a harsh truth. I’ve read a fascinating book last year about the interplay between the left and the right hemispheres of our brains. The logic behind it was that the right hemisphere provides completeness and wholeness to our sense of the world. People who have issues with RH live in a strange delusion of a world.

The LH is the acquiring hemisphere. It is the vocal, grabbing, grasping, lusting, competing part of us.

And here’s the crazy thing- LH competes with everything, even with RH (which does not compete with LH). Most of us are right handed because LH deliberately suppresses RH.

The gist of the book was the importance of giving RH room to do what it is supposed to. That gives your world completeness and meaning.

I suspect that curbing sexual lusts is on the list of things to do.

 

Just a thought to think about. We mostly jo with our left hand, and thats when we use our RH. So, we use our RH, when we watch porn, jo with left hand, and after watching porn we feel anxious, sad, quilty, Shame. We are litterally screwing with our mind when we jo with left hand. We take away completness and meaning, giving it the oppasite.
What you think?

 

Saturday night check in. Zero my friends.

 

Your words are loaded with sadness, but isn't that what we all feel about this destructive vice? I have broken so many promises to my God for not doing PM that I know that feeling very well. But we can beat it. It will not be easy, but we will do it. Have confidence. Next time you will not fail.

 

I was frustrated with my lack of progress and read through this thread and I think your dedication is great.

It’s tough to measure progress. You can be doing great and a few minutes of weakness are a reset.

Not getting frustrated and quitting means something. You have done an amazing job of that.

I know I need to make adjustments in habits and I don’t even know what all of those are yet.

I’m not a big 12 step guy but I do believe in not getting overwhelmed... it’s just one (half) day a time.

 

Hi All,

New here, 51 year old married male with kids, been addicted for too long. I've had some decent streaks of a couple of months but I want to think of those as not decent at all. I want to think in terms of years and set my expectations higher.

I need help, I cant do it alone and I hope this is the beginning of a new life. Hope to help a few others out along the way.

 

Check in day 22.
I have noticed one relapsing pattern around here. The relapsing takes place in weekends.
So, therefore you need to create some strategy plans for weekends, friday to monday morning. I dont know about you guys, but for me it was alcohol. Maybe its not the case with you.
Its like weekdays its "smoothe" sailing, and friday the storm begins. Prepare for the weekends. You have the knowledge for that. Stay strong.