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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.
big four-o! Congrats! Just don’t forget to make that nofap wish when you blow out the candles
Urges are a sign of recovering strength. Letting it all add up today.
The more i gain, the less i want to give in.
Edit: today's urge was particularly nasty. I was finally able to turn away but only after realizing the amount of stress i would incur if i were running late for work.
Checking in. Smooth sailing, so far.
A few hacks I would like to share with everyone.
(Please don’t be that person tells everyone how to overrides these hacks)
Cold Turkey app
iPhone screen time settings
Router with the ability to filter P.
I recommend “Cold Turkey” app for your laptop or computer. The app allows you to lock your computer for any amount of time. My struggle is when I’m alone. So this hack prevents me from being able to use my computer when my wife goes to work during the day. Scientifically speaking, it is easier to eliminate the trigger than to use will power to overcome it. Trust me, knowing the fact that you can’t watch P from the laptop eases the intensity of the temptation.
For the next two hacks, you will need a accountability partner who will set the screen lock for the iPhone and password for the router.
Set your iPhone settings to filter “P” and block reddit.com. Don’t try to reason with your mind why you NEED to read reddit, you won’t win, just block it. You can find information from other websites. You WILL need to block other websites as you implement this process. I’m sure you will try to find away around this hack. If you do find a way, confess to your accountability partner, and add it to the block list. Don’t BS yourself. How bad do you want to live a porn free life?
Purchase a router that allows you to block P from the website. I brought the Dream Machine, but I’m sure it’s other out there. I set the router up in my wife’s name and she has the password.
Also, I remind myself why I want a porn-free life every morning while looking myself in the eyes.
Sense of control
Scientically speaking, it is better to focus on the positive than the negative to break bad habits.
I recommend reading “Atomic Habit.”
May the force be with you!
Thanks for the tips!
Failed again last night....had overwhelming urges, managed to not masturbate for a short time but then caved in....so starting afresh today
..acted out because of strong urges... I need to exercise caution because of chaser effect. Let's move on and decide to remain clean for another week. @artifact you have shown remarkable resilience this year!
Thank you, sir. I have not yet begun to fight!
@David2018 - we haven't heard from you in a while. Do you still want to be in the group?
@tonyk1982 - Congrats on your 90 days today!
Here we are on day zero again.
Something i notice recently is that after relapsing i think my mind clearer,i would guess that's just because i don't feel anymore the fear of relapsing so i can keep going on with my day,
Has anyone noticed anything similar?
Reset today. Using this time of year as an excuse. Baby steps one day at a time toward milestones.
Yea. For me its like the rubble after collapse. I can begin to pick up the pieces without fear of falling.
I have. The addict brain got a little bump, but it's not a long term path to feeling better.
I think it is more “relief” than clarity, at least in my case. But then it feels like I ran out of vitality for a day or two. I have been really noticing how low I feel afterwards. I get the same feeling if I drink too much - an emotional hangover.
I am reminding myself that the longer i go without giving in, the more euphoric my emotional state will become.
I remember the feelings i get around day 60. It's worth the urges. It's like a slow drip of what we get when we give but theres no crash and it doesn't stop.
The only price to gain access to this is to not give in. It requires urges increasing in intensity prior to the overflow of stored chemistry.
Imagine water dripping into a glass. Eventually it overflows. That overflow is euphoric. It slowly releases one drop at a time.
Patience and determination is all it takes to gain access to this process.
These are not good days for me. The isolation is really taking its toll. The weather is getting colder and darker and I feel like I'm reaching a breaking point. And something happened a few days ago that sounds insane but I swear it is true. I developed a crush on... a fictional character. Yes. It is something I had never even considered could happen at all to anybody. But it happened. A crush with the same intensity as any crush I've felt for any real living girl. I checked videos with the actress, pics and info about her, and felt nothing towards her. She's just the actress. But the character in the movie (a totally normal movie) is something else entirely. I looked it up online, and apparently this phenomenon is more common than one may think. There is plenty written on the subject. But still I feel like I'm going fucking crazy. It's like I can't trust myself to stay connected to reality. I feel embarrassed even writing this.
I've had plenty of those. No need to worry.
Checking in here. I'm sorry for not doing that often, so at the moment I don't really know how you guys are doing. I'm still on my not-very-clean streak, with the occasional peeking at P-subs but still without any M'ing or O'ing.
I'm getting better at not running away to numb myself with some online bullshit in times of stress, but sometimes I still slip, either with 'innocent' stuff like social media, or with the more dangerous stuff. But I'm keeping the policy that whatever I come across, I don't M to it and that usually takes the appeal out of it completely and I manage to pull myself out of it soon.
I wouldn't worry about this. Even though I never had a crush on a character, I do find that characters are very real and alive in my brain, and I can be totally obsessed about them, or worried for them, or missing them... I guess that parts of our brain are just not that good at keeping fiction from reality, even though we like to tell ourselves we can. But if you think about it, getting a hard-on over a bunch of pixels is just as silly as getting a crush on a fictional girl. But that's how our minds work.
Try to also think about the euphoria that you feel every single time you say 'no'. Because that's very real. Just thinking about long term goals might make it harder.