Doing really good until today. Feel like I had a good streak going. Reset but looking forward to a new month.
Mid week check in. A couple of clean days after my stupid resets! I am feeling good in honesty, I am glad that it was just MO really and not drawn out in anyway with edging. Still hitting the gym hard and eating really well. Onwards and upwards!
I also thought I was doing well until yesterday. As usual, its feeling like a fraud at work that causes me to PMO.
Checking in - feeling pretty strong of late. I have been seeing a woman but it's just casual and sexual and although I want the sex I also kinda don't...not sure if it makes sense. I feel like I will end it with her - finding great benefit from having a strong morning routine including a 6.30am start, walk in the local park, Wim hof breathing and cold shower followed by yoga or chi gung then a shot meditation and 8 minutes of Uddiyana bandha to help deal with my sexual energy...done this 3 days in a row now and feel a lot better and also sleeping better. @artifact I know I'm on a long streak and perhaps I should give my place to someone else now but if so how hard is it to get back in as this group is a huge part of the reason I'm managing to abstain from compulsive P addiction?
Weekend check in. I have managed to get back on track after my resets at the start of the week. Keeping it one day at a time but good to see 4 days on the counter.
I hope you don't quit, it is inspiring for the rest of us to have people in the group with long streaks. That would be amazing if you could get to a year. Even if you don't keep the streak going I hope you stay in the group.
Checking in. Last week started really terrible. I couldn't get myself to do any work. I suspect the after effects of letting myself go with gaming for the 2 weeks before. But I pushed through, knowing things would get better. And they did, on Thursday I was getting back to the better version of myself, being productive and happy. Then I started watching BlizzCon, and I got really excited about the new WoW expansions, the new classic season, and I got re-interested in Diablo 4 again (which I already own, but haven't played for a few months now), also because it didn't run very well on my computer before but it does now. I really really want to play them, as well as finish Baldur's Gate. There is no way in hell I can fit all of that in only the few weeks per year I give myself. So what do I do. Let it go and just play what I want? Buckle down on the idea I shouldn't play and focus only on my work? Or some sort of middle way? I don't know. I have to think about this. But suggestions are welcome. I also started having a lot of urges. But not really urges as in "I want it so bad but I shouldn't" but more thoughts like, "It's okey", "You can handle it". It's like my body or something is telling me it's okey to do it, it's the right thing. I don't know how to battle this. At this point it even feels wrong battling it. I still don't do it, because I also have thoughts like: "I can't let the guys on the forum down", "I got a great streak going, I don't wanna waste that", "I would walk the stairs down to hell again", "Now I feel good, but just wait when I've binged for 2 weeks, how I feel then". So right now I'm in a dangerous spot. I really could use some wise words from all of you!
It's mental manipulation. Your brain wants that dopamine hit, and it will pull out any bullshit to get it. I have been on a 60 day streak, then ran into this sort of thinking... 6 months later I'm struggling to get back to a 3 day streak. Everything can go backwards so badly it's not even funny, if you don't keep constant vigilance. Simple rule of thumb... there is never any good reason to jack off, ever. And there's certainly never any good reason to look at porn. When your mind tells you "You can handle it", there's an implicit thought process that says that jacking off has it's upsides and it's downsides, and that the only reason you're doing a reboot is because you made a decision 4 months ago that the downsides outweighed the upsides. But maybe now the upsides outweigh the downsides, so it's ok to go back to it, right? This is completely flawed thinking. There is no upside to jacking it, your brain is inventing one so it can trick you into giving it dopamine. From my guide: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-total-guide-to-nofap.347339/ NoFap is a treadmill that goes on forever. Once you get on, you can’t get off without losing progress. The purpose of NoFap is not to get off the treadmill… it is to run for long enough that you get used to it, and running on the treadmill is no longer a challenge. Normal people already run on this treadmill without even thinking about it, you’re the only person sitting on the floor and out of breath. As far as games go, I'd avoid them if I were you. Things that produce dopamine (fast food, games, jacking) tend to reinforce one another, you play a few hours of an addictive game, and suddenly you have a higher urge to reset, etc, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if your brain is pushing you towards computer games for that dopamine fix. (WoW is one of the most addictive games ever invented, and D4 is not too much better with it's loot system, beware) If I was in your position, I'd throw away all the games with addictive qualities, commit to not playing them, and then see how you feel after a few weeks. For me personally, I've made similar decisions, and it is definitely freeing in a way. You just have to find something else to solve the boredom problem. Now is the perfect time to find a new hobby, woodworking, jigsaw puzzles, cooking pasta, etc, etc. Overall, this process may seem like a masturbation reboot, may have started as one, but for it to be even more effective, and more likely to succeed, it is better long term to think of it as a dopamine reboot, which means cutting back on all dopamine triggers. It's also possible you're suffering from a bit of depression. See this also from my guide: After a couple months of making good progress, you may find yourself feeling more depressed than normal. This is actually good. While jacking off too much, the huge amount of dopamine actually gives you brain fog, which makes you more apathetic towards life in general. Nothing seems to matter as much as it should, and this includes the problems in your life. Once the brain fog starts to lift, you start caring a lot more about things, which includes the problems. If the problems are large, this can cause depression. There’s no way around this, just fix those problems over time. If you don’t fix those problems, they may lead back to porn/jacking it.
Thank for your extensive response! I really needed that. And you are right of course. Most times urges are very clear: Higher brain doesn't want it, lower brain wants it. But I think after a while, the lower brain knows it can't win the fight with the higher brain. So it uses a new tactic, highjack the higher brain with 'rational' thoughts, so both brains agree.
