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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Dec 27, 2017.
Please don't say massage ...
Thanks bro! I appreciate your encouragement!
Day 44- I am surprisingly in good spirits on a Monday. It has been a good and fruitful weekend spent connecting with persons I had not seen in a long time.
Benefit 38: If I walk away from PMO, I will stop treating my body as a sexual object and in essence cultivating self hate. My body deserves the treatment of a King. And that is what I will give it.
Day 151 of 365
Day 38 completed
I started a wonderful journey 66 days before. I was going strong day by day. I was getting super aroused by seeing a girl from my college. But whenever I saw something arousing, I had a strong urge to masturbate. So I was very strict about my social media usage so that nothing inappropriate should pop up. So it was Sunday and I had no work to do. So I went to youtube and watched some songs. So I was aroused and wanted to watch some erotic things. So I watched some other songs. But after some time I came back to control and switched everything off. Yesterday, I felt the sexual energy building the whole day. I was kind of pissed off due to that. I felt guilty that I did not stick to my goals. I went to sleep and I suddenly woke up at about 1 am. I was completely aroused and was feeling the strong sensation in my penis. I felt as if I can't control my semen any longer. And I masturbated. After I orgasmed I felt pretty relaxed and good. The tension that was building for those many days is finally released. But when I woke up today, I realized that something was wrong. I felt as if I did a foolish mistake. What I realized was the behavior that I did was not based upon the values that I had. My behavior was based upon the 'state' I was in. I went depressed for some time but then realized that I can fix my mistake.
So I started from the root. What were my values when I started nofap:
1. I should not watch any arousing content.
2. I should not masturbate from now in my entire life.
And I realized that there was a big mistake in my values. The mistake was I told myself not to watch any arousing content. But it is not possible to stop consuming all the arousing content. After all, something is going to pop up in the feed. There will be some scenes in the movie that will trigger. So when I will watch them, what will I do? I had no value set up for that. So I redefined my values:
1. It's okay to be aroused. It's normal and natural. :- I think that we are going to come across something that will make our organ hard. But heck, it doesn't mean that every time you will take your dick out and start masturbating. You will come across a girl or a video or a scene and that is completely fine. You are aroused. And that's completely normal. You don't need to masturbate.
2. It is not okay to watch and search intentionally. :- Although it is okay if you come across something that is arousing. But it is not allowed for you to go and watch it intentionally. If you find yourself doing that, stop it immediately.
3. You should never masturbate in your life: Now you can't take out that dick and start masturbating. It's okay to feel the tension and sexual energy.
I started nofap with a belief that I will never masturbate in my entire life. And during my 66 days of journey, I stated decisions as the ultimate source of power. I said that the decision I made was so strong that I don't even think of masturbating. But the decision I made had some flaws. Those flaws are cleared now.
I failed. And I stood up again.
And that's the beautiful part.
Although I haven't watched porn, I am setting my pointer to 0.
FIGHT LIKE HULK
15/365. 2 weeks in. Funny but actually not that you feel so strong never to PMO again and then in a sudden: "a whatever". This almost happened 30 minutes ago. Glad I did not give in.
Another successful day.
Great news if you learned about your fall! We're learning every time we fall in life and keep moving forward if we got the message right! No matter how much time it takes to heal from this addiction, keep moving forward and nothing will stop you from achieving your victory!
35 days check in!
Day 0 here as well )
Day 1 complete!