I have been reading posts on this forum for a long time and it has helped me on my journey tremendously so I want to say thank you to all of you. I decided to create an account just to have a rant about my experience cause it's something that I never told anyone before. I am 25 year old male and I was addicted to porn for a long time since I was maybe 10 years old. I discovered that porn was causing me problems in my life few years ago and since than I was trying to quit. I had no idea that it will be this hard and I learned so much about my self trying to conquer my addiction . On 30th November last year was the last time that I watched porn and after that session I fell into the deepest depression that I ever felt in my life. I was laying in my bad at 2am and I felt that I betrayed myself and the pain that I felt was unbearable. I couldn't sleep whole night. It was the time that I felt depressed, suicidal , nihilistic and everything felt dark in my life . I came to realization that I created a hell for myself. There was no one else to blame except me . I think that experiencing those feelings was necessary for me to finally make a final decision to stop with this filth completely in my life . I figured that if I created this situation for myself that I also have the power to change it. And it was up to me if I want to create a life that I want to live or if I want to create a hell for myself. I decided to live. I decided to get rid of this filth once and for all . And that was a game changer for me . Seeing my moral responsibility in creating heaven or hell was like a religious awakening . Either I watch porn and do the things I know to be wrong or I create the life for me worth living. Decision was up to me and I was the agent deciding between heaven and hell. I chose heaven. It's been almost two months and I've been completely abstinent from porn and masturbation. I've had periods before where I didn't watch porn for a long time but I fell back to my addiction again. This time I know it's different due to the reasons above I described. I finally feel that I am in control of the addiction and not my addiction over me . Benefits that I am experiencing: Social benefits - Most benefits that I noticed are definitely social. When I was deep into my addiction I was a shell of a person. Afraid of social situations, afraid of women, afraid to state my opinion, extremely socially anxious. Since I stopped this habit I noticed the improvement in this area every day. Every day I am experiencing more social benefits. I am more charismatic, I am a lot funnier, a lot calmer in social situations, talking to women is much easier every day that goes by . I am more assertive and confident in social situations. I am finally starting to feel aligned with my true self when I talk. I don't really know the science behind this. If somebody has a scientific explanation I would like to hear it. I can only guess. Watching porn and masturbating is a shameful act. Nobody is proud of it . Nobody goes out and talks with friends and family how much porn they watch and how many times they masturbate . We are all ashamed of that act. That's why we feel post nut clarity. It's our higher self telling us that what we shouldn't be doing this. I am not really sure but my guess is that that's the reason why we feel socially anxious and not confident. How can we be confident knowing what we are doing when we are alone and carrying so much shame ? We can't fake the confidence. It has to come from within and it has to be real. When we carry so much shame that confidence can't be real. Even if we try to act confident we know that we are lying , we are not being true to our selves. We can't just have better self esteem faking it. If we are miserable and we are betraying ourselves watching pornography we can't just decide to feel good about it and have a good self esteem and confidence. It's just not real. When we finally stop and the time goes by, and we really feel that we got a grip on this addiction that's when we can start feeling really confident. That's when the shame is starting to disappear. I feel much better about myself and much more confident because I know that the person that was watching the porn last year is not me anymore. That person is dead. I am not going to betray myself. I am not going back there never in my life. Anxiety and depression lifted- I feel a lot better since I stopped with this filth. Anxiety and depression is a complicated subject and I don't want to say that porn and masturbation was 100% the reason for it . But it definitely played a big part in that . More motivation, desire and drive - I am feeling much more motivated and ambitious. We all know how porn addiction can deplete our dopamine and we lose a lot of motivation and drive to achieve other things in life. Since I stopped I feel that returning. I also stopped other cheap dopamine activities like passively scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, I stopped eating sugar. I am doing a dopamine detox and it's really helping me. I am much more motivated to pursue things in my life. I am feeling emotions more deeply - I will consider this a benefit even though maybe not everyone will agree . I said that this addiction taught me a lot about myself. One more thing I realized is that I was numbing my feelings with pleasure and addiction . Whenever I felt any emotional pain I would numb it with porn. Once I stopped, those emotions came back full force. Life can hurt us and with some life experiences I experienced sadness, frustration, anger, jealousy, heartbreak and those emotions are not pleasant but that's what it means to be a human being. I would never trade it for emotional numbness that I was feeling. Because of that when good things happen, I am able to experience joy and happiness on a much deeper level as well. I know that I am only 55 days in and I have a long way to go to conquer this addiction but as I said I know that I am not coming back . I have a moral responsibility to get rid of this . So I am looking forward to a lifelong journey. Life is hard and tough and it can hurt us . But we should accept it as such and not hide away from it with porn and cheap pleasures.
Some say it's Testosterone. It surely goes up within the first week but not sure afterwards. Also that the brain thinks we aren't getting sex because we aren't ejaculating. So the job of the brain is to spread the species. So the brain makes us more attractive to the opposite sex.
Thanks for the part about emotions. I really needed to hear that what happens when the PMO options is no longer on the cards but you face a crisis. I needed to learn if there are any benefits of living a nofap lifestyle in such a situation. But now I know it's worth giving a shot.
Congratulations man!!! I'm well on my way too now, and I have made major progress recently in terms of consecutive, progressive progress. Everybody's path might look a little different and that's ok. I agree with what you said about choosing. We can try to use willpower and phrase nofap like a diet we're trying to do. A diet is where where you avoid sweets and stuff, or we can phrase it like a longstanding decision meaning - you don't want it in your life anymore. The latter is much better in the long term! I plan to post here too, soon! Never been able to, but I will, hah. Enjoy your life where the bad times are fully experienced, and the good times are fully enjoyed too.
Found your post inspiring. I think getting a clear idea of the benefits will be a boost to my resolve.
It's a very good sharing. Keep going bro! For the reason why watching porn and masturbating could make people socially anxious, you are right, porn certainly played a big part of it. I could not find any good explanation in western medicine (because basicially every doctor says jerking off does no harm) But there is one that make sense to me in Traditional Chinese. medicine: In TCM, sperm is not just a liquid, it's an source of life energy——Costing too much of it means throwing off our life energy all for nothing. If we do this, our brain and body, which supposed to have much energy to support, will become weak. This would stop us from doing what we could do so easily, which is socalizing normally. To me, walking zombie (A human face without spirits) is the best word the describe people who get porn addiction. Good luck with your journey. Your life is now begin!
Totally true. And if we take it even further, in south Asia, people send this life energy up their spines awakening 7 chakras. Of course, things like nutrition, yoga plays a big part to do this.
That's an interesting explanation to the attraction NoFap causes. Testosterone might even increase afterwards, but I don't think it is a core part of the benefits. In the KasumiKriss's YouTube channel she shares most of the ones we men experience. It is interesting to check her video out.
Update : I am currently on day 120 of my journey All the benefits that I am experiencing are only getting better. I finally feel free of my addiction and my life is so much better that I am determined that there is no way that I am ever going back to my old ways. Last week I managed to have sex 6 times in 2 days with my girlfriend. I struggled with PIED most of my life since I conditioned my brain to only respond to pornography since I was 10 years old. I was afraid that my brain was permanently wired to respond to pornography only but all of our ancestors have successfully reproduced and our sexual circuits in our brain are still there we just need to awaken them This was a huge achievement for me and I have never been happier in my life. Just to give anybody hope who is struggling. Life does get better a lot but you need to stop with artificial sexual stimulation . There is nothing good in it.
Six times in two days? That is impressive for almost anybody at all. Good to see you're getting better, fam.
"Walking zombie", you said it. Even if someone is not into Eastern philosophies or religion, it is not hard to notice that such people lose the sparkle in the eye. On Chinese medicine, well, science as a method is only 300~ years old. I believe we have much to learn from it. Which still should first be properly tested for pragmatism sake, of course.
Hi @userlic1c . I'm very interested into the science behind all this and also came to take another go on my addiction after reading some books about dopamine fasting. One book that is focused on addiction is from Anna Lempke. She is a specialist in the opioid epidemic in the United States, and the author of Drug Dealer, MD, How Doctors Were Duped, Patients Got Hooked, and Why It’s So Hard to Stop. Her latest book, a bestseller, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence changed my whole approach. Knowing the mechanisms, the crude chemistry behind the addiction helps understand so much better all its symptoms and beat "the system". After all, we take that spoon of bitter medicine without complain when we understand that it will make us feel better tomorrow. Learning about your brain, how it works inside,...is extremely interesting. BTW, big congratulations on your achievement! And thanks for sharing the benefits, these are very motivational!
Update : Day 166 of nofap I am currently 166 days completely free of watching pornography. I have 0 urges to ever watch pornography again . It just doesn't cross my mind anymore. I think I am still healing cause I am still continuing to see improvements in all the benefits I mentioned. I am completely different person than when I was deep in my addiction. I believe that I am still healing sexually. I conditioned myself to pornography from really early age so it takes time to reverse the damage that I have done. I am currently in a relationship and I have sex every weekend and I was struggling with PIED before but now I think I am at least 90% cured. I still can't get it up sometimes for 3rd round but I wouldn't consider that an issue. Sometimes stress and tiredness and other life problems can cause that and it's 3rd round so I wouldn't worry too much about that. I am still healing sexually cause I notice that my erections are better every weekend when I have sex with my girlfriend. Also I notice that every orgasm with my girlfriend sets me back to a flatline where I don't have any libido for a week. Would that happen to me if I never condition myself to pornography? I can't really know. Will that improve overtime? Time will tell that and I'll pay attention to that. Anyway I am excited to continue this journey and I'll never go back to that lifestyle. Everyday I see how much life is better without porn. It truly is a poison and life is more and more beautiful every day since I am free from my addiction .
Great update, good to know that the benefits even gain in strength. It's very motivational and for sure something to look forward to! Keep going and yes,...3rd round, are you joking? It sounds like a natural limit, you are 100% fine to me ...when it's empty, it's empty mate jejeje.
Does orgasm into a flatline have anything to do with a partner or all to do with the PIED condition? I'm curious. Maybe someone here knows more.
its not only testosterone, other hormones, you dont waste your minerals and vitamins, better sleep, Orgasm is a heavy event on your central nervous system so this also balances it, cortisol goes down, youre more grounded and balanced so it all goes to benefit you. then pheromones, your heart is calmer, better aura and electromagnetic field around you - women sense all this somehow. Voila! Casanova without learning a bit of game. Just do the 120 days
