Back2BestOfMe
Fapstronaut
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// Dopamine Fasting //
//////////////////////////////////////////
I will add more to this thread from time to time, get yourself comfortable and read a bit at a time.
"Dopamine lays at the heart to all addiction" - Andrew Huberman.
Disclaimer
I want to share this with anyone looking for a different approach, as I didn´t find anyone detailing his dopamine fasting in this forum. I have a serious case, I´m 40 years old now, probably with 25 years of addition and had this for my entire life. A long time addiction. I had only one reset during my rehab with this method so far - for me - it works great since the beginning! I want to share with others what helped me.
Most important things come first
This thread needs to start with the benefits. Whenever I was reading the success stories of others, I found it the most motivational part to learn about the benefits. Enough I could figure out about the drawbacks and bad consequences,...but getting depressed wouldn´t help getting out of the hole. Tangible benefits vary from case to case, I also will only state those benefits that I can confirm are true and no, there is no unreal superpower. I will update the list, as I only wanted to state those which I was certain of and that are applicable to my case now. Maybe there will be more, as longer the journey goes.
Stamina/Energy
With good certainty I can say that my stamina and perseverance has increased significantly. Recently I worked more hours and harder then ever before in my entire life. It is quiet an experience as it was surprising to see myself how much I could lift, withstand and work through. This also translate into resistance and pain tolerance, which might come from the dopamine fasting, rather then the rehabilitation per se.
Life Goals
Removing the short term dopamine rushes opens up the vision to a much broader perspective on life. Vision on your life, the "planning", becomes much clearer. The hamster wheel has such a short cycle that life passes next to you, without really being part of it and not lifting the sight to look down the far road. Some decitions I took in the short time while doing dopamine fasting,...I would have waited years before realizing them, or maybe never. The slogan of this forum "get grip on your life" makes sense now.
Social/ anxiety
Something I could proof in 3-4 key moments and proofed very true to me. Moments when meeting with group of people that I would usually feel uncomfortable with, because of their loud and rude talking or past events. You feel more calm, balanced and would even expect to get this little bit nervous that you used to get,....but it won´t come. Also when talking, you feel more secure, articulated and this new sense of confidence is also perceived by others. These encounters I avoid and had last time before my fasting,...that´s why the difference is quiet obvious as I can compare clearly the before and after.
Enjoying small things
Effort and meaningless dopamine depletion, deprive the possibility to enjoy so many other great and important experiences in life. Thinking this thoroughly we must admit that addiction steals a tremendous amount of otherwise enjoyable and never returning moments. Sex included, I can´t remember I enjoyed it more ever before. Big things in life might appear important, but this applies to the very small day to day things too. So many small things that I can now appreciate, enjoy and be aware of.
Skin
My skin has definitely gone better. With same routine, same shampoo, same creme,... I have clearer skin, better tone and no itches.
Sleep
While this could be connected to the benefit "Stamina/Energy". I wanted to state this as separate benefit, because healthy sleep is so important during rehabilitation and just feels good. I have no problems getting to sleep and general feel my sleep quality has improved.
added 31-5-2023
Calm and less shaking
Another observation that I can fairly compare between before and after. For years I would strongly clench my fist and move it for and back to measure my shaking. When more fatigue or nervious, the shaking in the muscle would be more intense. There has been time I was worried if this could have been a neural condition. Generally , my brain would be always very active, general low threshold for nervousness and hard to feel inner calmness. This is has greatly improved. I feel much calmer now and when I clench my fist strongly, I can now move it smoothly for and back without shaking.
How I came to know about dopamine fasting
It´s not free of irony that one of the most dopamine addictive behaviors let me to the seed which would become my most successful strike in abandoning addictive PMO - ever. Watching Youtube reels I came to know Andrew Huberman. Immediatly I was hooked, as his explanaitions were funded, replicable and finally explaining all these mechanisms and inexplicable facts that come along with this addition. I had given up, silently, ignoring the disease, as it had become part of me and my life. It´s not that I hadn´t tried to quit PMO, with many different methods,so many times, throughout decades! Such was the impact, that I had to learn more,and understanding for the first time in my life the whys and hows, and that made a huge impact. Also because this is a scientific approach, based on case studies and data, it makes this method scientific and proven. Soon I would have read my first book about Dopamine fasting, then the next,...and this is where this journey began.
In well documented science, I trust. If there are double-blind studies of thousands of participants that proof what otherwise could be just one more hypothesis, its becoming a different level of truth. Knowing your enemy, gives you an important advantage in your battle. What is important is: learning so much about the techniques, the mechanisms and the biology that hold the reins of your brain, changes everything.
Dopamine fasting has changed more aspects of my life which are indirectly related to my addiction. There are many small things in life that I now can be more aware of, I can enjoy even work I didn`t like before, assimilate pain differently and stay more focused. On a side plate you get more time and motiviation. And on top you can train yourself. Maybe you too have the feeling that normal life isn´t interesting enough. That PMO makes your feel life fading away.
Anna Lempke is an American psychiatrist who is Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University. She has earned her credits. I got gifted another book from someone else about dopamine fasting that was totally missing the point and misleading or even counter productive. The best guide to dopamine fasting and dopamine induced addiction that I have found and recommend is the book "Dopamine Nation". Listen to someone specialized in adult addiction who is board certified and helped some of the most sever addicted.
First aid kid: Bad day? Feeling weak? Lack of motivation? Try this thought!
Life has an Ending, to make our time precious. Visualize yourself on the last day of your life,sitting, old and with just a handful of your last breaths to take. - do it , go there! - Would you rather look back to a life where you continued with your addiction, or.... where you lived your life to the fullest,unleashed, enjoying unique moments and having taken all opportunities you could take.It´s your choice. Time is running.
Key 1 - Take the decision
25 years of addiction won´t go away with a browser plugin blocking explicit websites ,by joining this forum, nor will watching motivational videos do or reading this very same post. A toxic habit that has dug deep trenches in your brain for years, needs more then just some "good words" to get changed. That is why my highest rated number 1 key is - take the decision. I can´t stress this enough, because everything else won´t make sense or work, as long as you have not truly taken this decision deep to your bones. Let´s differentiate. It´s not a "tomorrow I stop eating so much sweets", something to relief our conscience for the moment. That will not work, as many times as you repeat it. And you can repeat it daily, but still not understanding the meaning.
You must talk to yourself in your strongest inner voice. Read it with your full mindfulness and as slowly as needed to truly understand it. I WANT TO QUIT NOW! THE DECISION HAS BEEN TAKEN! Do it until you feel that switch has changed and the rail track will change. All what comes with the decision will come more easily and last longer.
Key 2 - Pain and Pleasure, understand how they coexist.
One of the most interested leanings from Anna Lempkes book * SPOILER ALERT* is that pleasure and pain are collocated, which means the same parts of the brain that processes pleasure also processes pain. Which means when we feel pleasure, our balance tips one way. When we feel pain it tips in the opposite direction. Our brain follows one important rule,to stay leveled, so it doesn´t want to remain tipped very long to pleasure or to pain and will work hard to go back to homeostasis. Why do you feel bad after PMO? Now you understand! A piece of bread can turn into the most delicious food when you are the most hungry. Now you understand! I just find this learning beautiful.
I will add more to this and hopefully also find time to add more to the dopamine deficit state.
added: 15/5/2023
What does it look like in day-to-day
Before getting into some real life example, it´s worth mentioning that it´s not about feeling pain or not enjoying anymore. It´s pretty much the opposite, you come to enjoy more with less. As soon as you start doing it, you will actually have no issue with coming up with some measures yourself. The concept is fairly simple, you should only get dopamine rewarded for something that costed you effort,remove any unjustified, unnecessary and stacked dopamine exposure.
Having "mild" showers. Also it should be cold exposure, I´m honest,...it´s not my thing. I set the shower as cold as I can and making sure I´m not enjoying it too much. It´s way better then having the usual long,hot shower,...The reinforcement on you will is still there and helps you also with non-addiction related matters in job and life.
Reduce Iphone use to 1hour or less.This is only hard at the beginning and you don´t need any special app as your iphone comes already with its weekly usage report and also features to limit the use of certain apps. Pause this for a second and pick up your phone right now, how much time does the report read? I had usually an average of 3 to 3:30h a day. Let´s think this through, 3hours of my 16h awake hours looking at a tiny screen. Since 3 weeks I´m below 1h for my daily average. There are exceptions, when my kids use it, but other then that, sticking closely to it! Uninstall facebook, netflix,..all dopamine resources unnecessary on a phone.
Work standing. I have the possibility to work standing. While it´s more comfortable to work while seated, it is also a very lazy position. I work at least 2-3hours standing and often forget about lowering the desk back again.
Stretching.Something that is good eitherway and possibly the only activity that gets to a "mild" pain exposure. But if you stretch hard, you definitely feel it and it´s now much more bearable when knowing the later benefits from it. PLus you gain a few degrees in movibility! Top!
Avoid dopamine stacking. For many activities, a used practice is "it's better with music". Going to the gym, running, driving car,...and you can see anyone anywhere with their iPods and Headsets. But that is just adding another dopamine emitting layer on top of another. Movies without popcorn, sport without IPods,...and you will do these things more mindful and some activities that you had lost joy doing, you will enjoy them again! It works!
Added 17/5/2023
Your balance
A little mind-game. This is a quiet tangible way in helping you grow your willpower and get a good feeling about your current balance. Morning sets the course for the rest of the day. If you start of well or bad makes an enormous difference. You can test this yourself easily and there is no way around it. The day you start with high dopamine levels, your craving will grow dramatically during the day, bringing you urges, have a bad time and risk to relapse. You start with the chocolate Flakes and an orange juice, your balance already tipped way to the bad side. You get lazy and look reels before even your work day has started, ...it´s getting even worse. A donut before midday,...it´s looking bad. Even with the best intention to turn it around, your brain is primed and stuck deep into the dopamine addiction process. Usually there is a delay and you might not have the immediate craving, but you will feel it coming during the day, no way to escape the biological process. If you have a diary journal, you can also read back and check those days you struggled and confirm on this. On the other side, if you stick to a healthy morning routine, you skip on the dopamine peaks and maybe did even resist a new temptation - That´s a strong start into the day, with a lot of solid will power and low tonic dopamine level. A jump start into the day. You feel more secure, prepared and have an easier day. If you start of this good, it´s very hard to have a really struggling day.
It´s almost as you can feel your brain rewire. The first 48h cold turkey were very challenging, breaking the habits, the constant urges, I even got to feel like sick. But on the other hand, every urge you overcome, you cash willpower and grow. Every temptation you avoid, you cash again. Every exercise you do, guess what - you cash again. Next time a urge hits, you can afford this cost better.
Time to turn reading into actions. Make your budget plan and you will find many low hanging fruits to cash. No facebook for a week, no youtube reels, no instagram,... The secret lays in switching the perspective. If you are exposed to a temptation or urge, it is not an unfair trap waiting for you, making your day miserable. It´s an offer and chance to gain your budget.
Added 25/5/2023
Defcon/Counter measures
Even at day 70 and beyond there are still urges and there are many counter measures that work for different people in different moments. It´s a personal thing, these are the ones I stick to and especially number 1 really works great, also it might require some practice. As soon as an habit tries to kick off or a urges arise, here is what I do:
Defcon 1. Change thoughts immediately, don´t let them sink in or stick. Then sooner you change thoughts than better. Recite your favorite song, take your thoughts to a different place, think about work,...do it in your first 1ms, don´t wait. Got several members that do the same and works really great for them too. If you manage this greatly, you should not even need to go for #2 or #3.
Defcon 2. This is a very obvious one, remove temptations where possible. Move your Laptop to the dining room, install addons, block websites on the router level, avoid watching that news with that attractive presenter, avoid watching advertisements on TV,..nudity is widely used in many medias. Less exposure, less triggers. It does not take explicit content, it can be perfectly the sum of many smaller temptations. Every single bit counts, be aware of that.
Defcon 3. Make it as uncomfortable as possible. Go out to a shopping mall, cold shower, facetime your father in law,...it will be a hard stop and also a good distraction!
//added 17/6/2023
HONESTY
in the book dopamine Nation, an entire chapter is dedicated to this topic and I agree it´s not for less. The person in the book is having issues accepting the relapse and reset the day counter. She would have involuntarily drunk a italian wine while traveling, ...but that is no different to PMO. If voluntarily or not, the full recovery can only be a success if it´s clean and honest. If not, another italian wine would come, because the first didn´t count,...and we are back in the hamster wheel. And you need to be honest with yourself, don´t give your weaker self a voice that cheating is ok.
I was 3 days away from my milestone of 90 days, many of you have seen that I reset my counter to zero. While it made me angry and I was frustrated to have missed my goal by such a small numbner of days, there wouldn´t have been a chance for me to make the milestone. But definition of failure was met,even if it was as tiny and small as it could be. I would have been able to continue clean for the remaining days to get to the 90 days, but it wouldn´t have felt right to me and especially for all the effort that I did before and the effort that others do. That is why honesty is so important. For sure, it´s not easy to set it back to 0, but now I´m again counting and only the good ones count!
I learned so much about myself in this journey, it´s not worth jeopardizing it by being dishonest. Honesty shows the true commitment and while you may see me reset the counter, be ensured, it´s just showing that I´m fully committed.
// Dopamine Fasting //
//////////////////////////////////////////
I will add more to this thread from time to time, get yourself comfortable and read a bit at a time.
"Dopamine lays at the heart to all addiction" - Andrew Huberman.
Disclaimer
I want to share this with anyone looking for a different approach, as I didn´t find anyone detailing his dopamine fasting in this forum. I have a serious case, I´m 40 years old now, probably with 25 years of addition and had this for my entire life. A long time addiction. I had only one reset during my rehab with this method so far - for me - it works great since the beginning! I want to share with others what helped me.
Most important things come first
This thread needs to start with the benefits. Whenever I was reading the success stories of others, I found it the most motivational part to learn about the benefits. Enough I could figure out about the drawbacks and bad consequences,...but getting depressed wouldn´t help getting out of the hole. Tangible benefits vary from case to case, I also will only state those benefits that I can confirm are true and no, there is no unreal superpower. I will update the list, as I only wanted to state those which I was certain of and that are applicable to my case now. Maybe there will be more, as longer the journey goes.
Stamina/Energy
With good certainty I can say that my stamina and perseverance has increased significantly. Recently I worked more hours and harder then ever before in my entire life. It is quiet an experience as it was surprising to see myself how much I could lift, withstand and work through. This also translate into resistance and pain tolerance, which might come from the dopamine fasting, rather then the rehabilitation per se.
Life Goals
Removing the short term dopamine rushes opens up the vision to a much broader perspective on life. Vision on your life, the "planning", becomes much clearer. The hamster wheel has such a short cycle that life passes next to you, without really being part of it and not lifting the sight to look down the far road. Some decitions I took in the short time while doing dopamine fasting,...I would have waited years before realizing them, or maybe never. The slogan of this forum "get grip on your life" makes sense now.
Social/ anxiety
Something I could proof in 3-4 key moments and proofed very true to me. Moments when meeting with group of people that I would usually feel uncomfortable with, because of their loud and rude talking or past events. You feel more calm, balanced and would even expect to get this little bit nervous that you used to get,....but it won´t come. Also when talking, you feel more secure, articulated and this new sense of confidence is also perceived by others. These encounters I avoid and had last time before my fasting,...that´s why the difference is quiet obvious as I can compare clearly the before and after.
Enjoying small things
Effort and meaningless dopamine depletion, deprive the possibility to enjoy so many other great and important experiences in life. Thinking this thoroughly we must admit that addiction steals a tremendous amount of otherwise enjoyable and never returning moments. Sex included, I can´t remember I enjoyed it more ever before. Big things in life might appear important, but this applies to the very small day to day things too. So many small things that I can now appreciate, enjoy and be aware of.
Skin
My skin has definitely gone better. With same routine, same shampoo, same creme,... I have clearer skin, better tone and no itches.
Sleep
While this could be connected to the benefit "Stamina/Energy". I wanted to state this as separate benefit, because healthy sleep is so important during rehabilitation and just feels good. I have no problems getting to sleep and general feel my sleep quality has improved.
added 31-5-2023
Calm and less shaking
Another observation that I can fairly compare between before and after. For years I would strongly clench my fist and move it for and back to measure my shaking. When more fatigue or nervious, the shaking in the muscle would be more intense. There has been time I was worried if this could have been a neural condition. Generally , my brain would be always very active, general low threshold for nervousness and hard to feel inner calmness. This is has greatly improved. I feel much calmer now and when I clench my fist strongly, I can now move it smoothly for and back without shaking.
How I came to know about dopamine fasting
It´s not free of irony that one of the most dopamine addictive behaviors let me to the seed which would become my most successful strike in abandoning addictive PMO - ever. Watching Youtube reels I came to know Andrew Huberman. Immediatly I was hooked, as his explanaitions were funded, replicable and finally explaining all these mechanisms and inexplicable facts that come along with this addition. I had given up, silently, ignoring the disease, as it had become part of me and my life. It´s not that I hadn´t tried to quit PMO, with many different methods,so many times, throughout decades! Such was the impact, that I had to learn more,and understanding for the first time in my life the whys and hows, and that made a huge impact. Also because this is a scientific approach, based on case studies and data, it makes this method scientific and proven. Soon I would have read my first book about Dopamine fasting, then the next,...and this is where this journey began.
In well documented science, I trust. If there are double-blind studies of thousands of participants that proof what otherwise could be just one more hypothesis, its becoming a different level of truth. Knowing your enemy, gives you an important advantage in your battle. What is important is: learning so much about the techniques, the mechanisms and the biology that hold the reins of your brain, changes everything.
Dopamine fasting has changed more aspects of my life which are indirectly related to my addiction. There are many small things in life that I now can be more aware of, I can enjoy even work I didn`t like before, assimilate pain differently and stay more focused. On a side plate you get more time and motiviation. And on top you can train yourself. Maybe you too have the feeling that normal life isn´t interesting enough. That PMO makes your feel life fading away.
Anna Lempke is an American psychiatrist who is Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University. She has earned her credits. I got gifted another book from someone else about dopamine fasting that was totally missing the point and misleading or even counter productive. The best guide to dopamine fasting and dopamine induced addiction that I have found and recommend is the book "Dopamine Nation". Listen to someone specialized in adult addiction who is board certified and helped some of the most sever addicted.
First aid kid: Bad day? Feeling weak? Lack of motivation? Try this thought!
Life has an Ending, to make our time precious. Visualize yourself on the last day of your life,sitting, old and with just a handful of your last breaths to take. - do it , go there! - Would you rather look back to a life where you continued with your addiction, or.... where you lived your life to the fullest,unleashed, enjoying unique moments and having taken all opportunities you could take.It´s your choice. Time is running.
Key 1 - Take the decision
25 years of addiction won´t go away with a browser plugin blocking explicit websites ,by joining this forum, nor will watching motivational videos do or reading this very same post. A toxic habit that has dug deep trenches in your brain for years, needs more then just some "good words" to get changed. That is why my highest rated number 1 key is - take the decision. I can´t stress this enough, because everything else won´t make sense or work, as long as you have not truly taken this decision deep to your bones. Let´s differentiate. It´s not a "tomorrow I stop eating so much sweets", something to relief our conscience for the moment. That will not work, as many times as you repeat it. And you can repeat it daily, but still not understanding the meaning.
You must talk to yourself in your strongest inner voice. Read it with your full mindfulness and as slowly as needed to truly understand it. I WANT TO QUIT NOW! THE DECISION HAS BEEN TAKEN! Do it until you feel that switch has changed and the rail track will change. All what comes with the decision will come more easily and last longer.
Key 2 - Pain and Pleasure, understand how they coexist.
One of the most interested leanings from Anna Lempkes book * SPOILER ALERT* is that pleasure and pain are collocated, which means the same parts of the brain that processes pleasure also processes pain. Which means when we feel pleasure, our balance tips one way. When we feel pain it tips in the opposite direction. Our brain follows one important rule,to stay leveled, so it doesn´t want to remain tipped very long to pleasure or to pain and will work hard to go back to homeostasis. Why do you feel bad after PMO? Now you understand! A piece of bread can turn into the most delicious food when you are the most hungry. Now you understand! I just find this learning beautiful.
I will add more to this and hopefully also find time to add more to the dopamine deficit state.
added: 15/5/2023
What does it look like in day-to-day
Before getting into some real life example, it´s worth mentioning that it´s not about feeling pain or not enjoying anymore. It´s pretty much the opposite, you come to enjoy more with less. As soon as you start doing it, you will actually have no issue with coming up with some measures yourself. The concept is fairly simple, you should only get dopamine rewarded for something that costed you effort,remove any unjustified, unnecessary and stacked dopamine exposure.
Having "mild" showers. Also it should be cold exposure, I´m honest,...it´s not my thing. I set the shower as cold as I can and making sure I´m not enjoying it too much. It´s way better then having the usual long,hot shower,...The reinforcement on you will is still there and helps you also with non-addiction related matters in job and life.
Reduce Iphone use to 1hour or less.This is only hard at the beginning and you don´t need any special app as your iphone comes already with its weekly usage report and also features to limit the use of certain apps. Pause this for a second and pick up your phone right now, how much time does the report read? I had usually an average of 3 to 3:30h a day. Let´s think this through, 3hours of my 16h awake hours looking at a tiny screen. Since 3 weeks I´m below 1h for my daily average. There are exceptions, when my kids use it, but other then that, sticking closely to it! Uninstall facebook, netflix,..all dopamine resources unnecessary on a phone.
Work standing. I have the possibility to work standing. While it´s more comfortable to work while seated, it is also a very lazy position. I work at least 2-3hours standing and often forget about lowering the desk back again.
Stretching.Something that is good eitherway and possibly the only activity that gets to a "mild" pain exposure. But if you stretch hard, you definitely feel it and it´s now much more bearable when knowing the later benefits from it. PLus you gain a few degrees in movibility! Top!
Avoid dopamine stacking. For many activities, a used practice is "it's better with music". Going to the gym, running, driving car,...and you can see anyone anywhere with their iPods and Headsets. But that is just adding another dopamine emitting layer on top of another. Movies without popcorn, sport without IPods,...and you will do these things more mindful and some activities that you had lost joy doing, you will enjoy them again! It works!
Added 17/5/2023
Your balance
A little mind-game. This is a quiet tangible way in helping you grow your willpower and get a good feeling about your current balance. Morning sets the course for the rest of the day. If you start of well or bad makes an enormous difference. You can test this yourself easily and there is no way around it. The day you start with high dopamine levels, your craving will grow dramatically during the day, bringing you urges, have a bad time and risk to relapse. You start with the chocolate Flakes and an orange juice, your balance already tipped way to the bad side. You get lazy and look reels before even your work day has started, ...it´s getting even worse. A donut before midday,...it´s looking bad. Even with the best intention to turn it around, your brain is primed and stuck deep into the dopamine addiction process. Usually there is a delay and you might not have the immediate craving, but you will feel it coming during the day, no way to escape the biological process. If you have a diary journal, you can also read back and check those days you struggled and confirm on this. On the other side, if you stick to a healthy morning routine, you skip on the dopamine peaks and maybe did even resist a new temptation - That´s a strong start into the day, with a lot of solid will power and low tonic dopamine level. A jump start into the day. You feel more secure, prepared and have an easier day. If you start of this good, it´s very hard to have a really struggling day.
It´s almost as you can feel your brain rewire. The first 48h cold turkey were very challenging, breaking the habits, the constant urges, I even got to feel like sick. But on the other hand, every urge you overcome, you cash willpower and grow. Every temptation you avoid, you cash again. Every exercise you do, guess what - you cash again. Next time a urge hits, you can afford this cost better.
Time to turn reading into actions. Make your budget plan and you will find many low hanging fruits to cash. No facebook for a week, no youtube reels, no instagram,... The secret lays in switching the perspective. If you are exposed to a temptation or urge, it is not an unfair trap waiting for you, making your day miserable. It´s an offer and chance to gain your budget.
Added 25/5/2023
Defcon/Counter measures
Even at day 70 and beyond there are still urges and there are many counter measures that work for different people in different moments. It´s a personal thing, these are the ones I stick to and especially number 1 really works great, also it might require some practice. As soon as an habit tries to kick off or a urges arise, here is what I do:
Defcon 1. Change thoughts immediately, don´t let them sink in or stick. Then sooner you change thoughts than better. Recite your favorite song, take your thoughts to a different place, think about work,...do it in your first 1ms, don´t wait. Got several members that do the same and works really great for them too. If you manage this greatly, you should not even need to go for #2 or #3.
Defcon 2. This is a very obvious one, remove temptations where possible. Move your Laptop to the dining room, install addons, block websites on the router level, avoid watching that news with that attractive presenter, avoid watching advertisements on TV,..nudity is widely used in many medias. Less exposure, less triggers. It does not take explicit content, it can be perfectly the sum of many smaller temptations. Every single bit counts, be aware of that.
Defcon 3. Make it as uncomfortable as possible. Go out to a shopping mall, cold shower, facetime your father in law,...it will be a hard stop and also a good distraction!
//added 17/6/2023
HONESTY
in the book dopamine Nation, an entire chapter is dedicated to this topic and I agree it´s not for less. The person in the book is having issues accepting the relapse and reset the day counter. She would have involuntarily drunk a italian wine while traveling, ...but that is no different to PMO. If voluntarily or not, the full recovery can only be a success if it´s clean and honest. If not, another italian wine would come, because the first didn´t count,...and we are back in the hamster wheel. And you need to be honest with yourself, don´t give your weaker self a voice that cheating is ok.
I was 3 days away from my milestone of 90 days, many of you have seen that I reset my counter to zero. While it made me angry and I was frustrated to have missed my goal by such a small numbner of days, there wouldn´t have been a chance for me to make the milestone. But definition of failure was met,even if it was as tiny and small as it could be. I would have been able to continue clean for the remaining days to get to the 90 days, but it wouldn´t have felt right to me and especially for all the effort that I did before and the effort that others do. That is why honesty is so important. For sure, it´s not easy to set it back to 0, but now I´m again counting and only the good ones count!
I learned so much about myself in this journey, it´s not worth jeopardizing it by being dishonest. Honesty shows the true commitment and while you may see me reset the counter, be ensured, it´s just showing that I´m fully committed.
Last edited: