Day One. Slept well last night. Woke up once to a phone call at 1130; the urge to PMO was there but I was tired enough that I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths... suddenly it was morning. Started the day right. Up with my alarm, shower, prayer, coffee, now here. Some anxiety today, as I have a big project coming due. As it says at Jimmy Johns, "as a cure for anxiety, hard work is better than whiskey." I'll be back tomorrow. Let's get seven.
Day 5 of 7 Busy day again. Was thinking today about how I need to stop talking about anyone negatively, people do it and don't even realize it, they see some friends, gossip about some other friend, criticize them or whatever, make themselves feel good or something. Then they see the other friend and talk about the friend they were gossiping with just before. I really don't get it when it's one's true friends and family one is talking about. Even men do this now. And I recognize this in myself too sometimes, to a lesser extent, talking or thinking about someone although not a friend, negatively, proving myself right about something. So we make ourselves feel good because we don't want to face our own weaknesses, mistakes, doubts, so we criticize and we feel better, very superficially of course. This does not serve us, it doesn't help us understand ourselves and others better, it's just another deceiving way of escape and self-gratification, makes us bitter. If we've been in bad places, which we all have, let's support one another, not betray other people's trust even in small ways. Let's be beacons of love and understanding. Came across this quote: "There is a time when it is necessary to abandon the used clothes, which already have the shape of our body and to forget our paths, which takes us always to the same places. This is the time to cross the river: and if we don't dare to do it, we will have stayed, forever beneath ourselves." Fernando Pessoa Cross the river my friend. Let's keep moving, no more going in circles.
Day Two. Yesterday was good. Productive work, dinner with friends. I am home alone for a few days, so evenings are always a challenge, but I succeeded in keeping my attention on good and worthwhile things until I finally fell asleep. Perfect. Let's go.
Day 6 of 7 Busy day again, had some disgusting porn thoughts at one point, feeling good still. Got some catching up to do with reading but habits going well too.
Day 3. Long day yesterday, but good. Strong urges last night: I endured, practicing separating actions from emotions. I laid still, focusing on my breathing. Doing good. Let's get to seven.
