7 days sober, changes, fears and hopes

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ton777, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. Ton777

    Ton777 Fapstronaut

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    Hello to all fapstronauts,

    I just decided to share what I feel after day seven as a treat for myself to keep me going.

    1- testicles got bigger in size, feel like I have a pair again.

    2- for some weird reason have absolutely no desire to watch porn

    3- do get horny though by looking or thinking about sexy women on the beach or my gf

    4- had some erections during the day fantasizing about them but didn’t masturbate

    5- penis skin starts to feel less irritated and penis head color returning to normal

    6- had a very strong boner which woke me up at night and I felt like if any girl as much as touched it a bit I would blow

    7- feel more energetic

    However wanna ask people with experience, to be short: I met a girl online we have been talking for a while and last July she came and we met. First had anxiety issues, overcame that, started getting hard from her touch, was able to climax from oral but had to fantasize and concentrate real hard (never happened before I really started abusing porn) and then I had the misfortune of not knowing about condom sizes and the once we used (couldn’t find other sizes in the locality) 52 mm I don’t know if it was small or not but I even had trouble bating in it but managed coz I was choking the chicken! It was hard to pull on had to insert to fingers below the ring to drag it down the shaft. Almost immediately started losing the erextion but managed to stay erect/ semi erect inside her until she climaxed (fortunately she is highly orgasmic) but I was only losing the erection inside, felt no stimulus inside, didn’t even feel like my penis head was able to swell up immediately after putting the condom. The feeling was horrifying that I am inside a woman I care about and losing it. 3 attempts followed with same results. So that’s when I started reading into porn addiction, nofap and such stuff. Been battling with almost constant relapses maximum before was 5 days. But all in all was able to decrease bating and porn. 7 days ago deleted all the stuff the triggered me. My fear is that when my gf comes tomorrow same shit will happen even though I found bigger sizes and tried them and easily masturbated with very light touches in them. Btw after July been stroking very light no dry bating and was able to make myself climax with very minimal touches. But still afraid that tomorrow same thing will happen and I won’t feel anything and that it’s forever. Remain committed to nofap once my gf leaves again.

    Anyone with experiences regarding rubber have anything to say about this experience? (Barely ever used rubber before coz had only a couple long relationships (I am 30) and got all std tests prior to any activity).
     

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