I tried staying away since the start of this year, and thought that not thinking about it might help out. But I got myself into a loop of none stopping. Maximum streak I did this year, was 70 days. Then a 3 month of lots and lots of masturbations. I think I had to write it down somewhere to get it out. So I am getting back to the forums. Always started with a week and moved on but this time, I am starting with the 90 days challenge. Day 0/90
I relapsed yesterday A set of events and my weak resolve to quit p were the reasons behind this slip. I did PMO twice, unfortunately... I caught a cold, i wasn't feeling good all day, because of the triggers i came across recently, i fantasized...my brain was craving for dopamine... Anyway i slapped myself with my fingers to awake myself...it worked for a while. In the afternoon i felt sleepy, i wish i slept...but i stayed awake... alone at home...the electricity went off, so i slept for minutes, again temptations came back...when the electricity came back, i lost control over my brain and did what i did As easy as that, the pain, the efforts, hopes, positivity... of many days, were for nothing I could have stayed clean, again i still choose the wrong path I wish i freeze myself for 200 days but this won't work right? I have to be strong and control my thoughts... sigh This time i'll succeed, though a voice inside me tells me you won't.... We will see. Stay strong all, and prepare a plan for such tough moments. Next time i'll take a cold shower.... Day 0
I relapsed I need to control my surroundings very carefully for the first week. I am blocking youtube for 7 days. Let's see how far I go.
Hi MHero! Keep chipping away at this addiction, finding new ways to prevent yourself from restarting again. You will get back on your feet shortly! Day 42/90
Thank you @Haladavar, I hope i get back on my feet again. You are right, I must prevent myself from relapsing again. I had some temptations this morning, i ignored them... as time passes my grip becomes weaker and weaker till i reset. It has been more than a year of struggles, i couldn't past 20 days In total as i remember, i'm in this journey for more than three years, and still far from recovery As long as there is life, there is hope. We can do this.
Day 5/90. Things are good. Been working out a lot more now. I've been so organized lately it's a shock. Having minor urges but I know I can manage!