90 Days NOPMO - 3 Keys for success

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Yow everyone I made it to day 90! I didn't have any struggles and it I feel pretty good.

Here 3 things that have helped me:
  1. Focus on what you want:
    In the past I found myself struggeling a lot with the urge, now days it is still there but passing the urge goes without any fight or struggle. What has helped me the most for dealing with the urge was to ask myself this question: "Why do I want to stay on nofap?"

    When you answer this question for yourself you start convincing yourself that where you are is much better than where fapping leads. This will make it easy for to overwin it because you see that place where you are as something better than fapping. Remember our brain is always searching for the most pleasure and the least amount of pain. Use that to craft your life.

  2. The relationship with yourself:
    This may sound strange but I sometimes talk to myself. I have found that I can be my own mentor/psychologist when I talk to myself. You don't have to be the strange guy who always talks to himself you can do it with a diary.

    Why does this help?

    It helps to get intouch with yourself. Sometimes we are afraid or stressed or angry and we don't know why. The basic reaction of someone who is addicted is to run away from painful emotions. But when you get intouch with these emotions you learn so much more about yourself.

    You basically get a better relationship with yourself. You care for yourself, you start loving yourself. Some of you may hate yourself, this is a bad place to start. If you hate yourself, you will never get recovered. YOU NEED TO GET INTOUCH.

    Respect your emotions, respect your insecurities, be nice to yourself, have a party for yourself when you succeed, follow your good desires, go after your dreams, have compassion for yourself.

    Here are a few suggestions to get in intouch with yourself: Meditation (to become aware), affirmations, talking to yourself, writing a diary, writing down who you want to become, listening to your dreams & good desires, felicitating yourself when you do something good. (drop your suggestions below)

    (A few recommended reads: You can heal your life - The subtle art of not giving a f*c - Radical Honesty - Letting go - The gift of imperfection - Verslaafd and liefde)

    The relationship with yourself is also important when you relapse, when you relapse it is important that you be nice to yourself. You got to see that you have a new chance to start again and that chance is RIGHT NOW!

  3. Know where you want to go:
    Knowing where you want to go in life is key and I recommend you to search for it right now or after this post.

    This is key because you will feel that you have a purpose to work on. You will have a mission in this life. It will give your life meaning, your confidence will get better and you will feel awesome everyday. Not because you can show to people what you have accomplished. No, because you know that this is your project and this is your life. And you are shaping it in the way you want to make it.

    Thinking about what you want in life is very important. Get clear on this and make up goals.

    Here are a few questions to get you started:
    "What do I want to have accomplished on my death bed?"
    "What do I to have done in 5 years?"
    "What do I always want to have done since I was a kid?"
    "The answers I just got, how can I change those into actionable actions?"

    You have to remember that your time on this planet is limited. So use your time well, craft your own purpose, go after it and make your life worthwhile, every day.
If you get these 3 things right you will be of a lot better than before. There are more techniques for this battle with yourself but lets start here.

See you soon at +90 days!
Thomas

(Btw counter will be at 90 days in about 6 hours)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Congratulations! I will try to follow your tips and hopefully I will start to get better at this. And by the way, This post is very useful and informative
 
ThomasV said:
Yow everyone I made it to day 90! I didn't have any struggles and it I feel pretty good.

Here 3 things that have helped me:
  1. Focus on what you want:
    In the past I found myself struggeling a lot with the urge, now days it is still there but passing the urge goes without any fight or struggle. What has helped me the most for dealing with the urge was to ask myself this question: "Why do I want to stay on nofap?"

    When you answer this question for yourself you start convincing yourself that where you are is much better than where fapping leads. This will make it easy for to overwin it because you see that place where you are as something better than fapping. Remember our brain is always searching for the most pleasure and the least amount of pain. Use that to craft your life.

  2. The relationship with yourself:
    This may sound strange but I sometimes talk to myself. I have found that I can be my own mentor/psychologist when I talk to myself. You don't have to be the strange guy who always talks to himself you can do it with a diary.

    Why does this help?

    It helps to get intouch with yourself. Sometimes we are afraid or stressed or angry and we don't know why. The basic reaction of someone who is addicted is to run away from painful emotions. But when you get intouch with these emotions you learn so much more about yourself.

    You basically get a better relationship with yourself. You care for yourself, you start loving yourself. Some of you may hate yourself, this is a bad place to start. If you hate yourself, you will never get recovered. YOU NEED TO GET INTOUCH.

    Respect your emotions, respect your insecurities, be nice to yourself, have a party for yourself when you succeed, follow your good desires, go after your dreams, have compassion for yourself.

    Here are a few suggestions to get in intouch with yourself: Meditation (to become aware), affirmations, talking to yourself, writing a diary, writing down who you want to become, listening to your dreams & good desires, felicitating yourself when you do something good. (drop your suggestions below)

    (A few recommended reads: You can heal your life - The subtle art of not giving a f*c - Radical Honesty - Letting go - The gift of imperfection - Verslaafd and liefde)

    The relationship with yourself is also important when you relapse, when you relapse it is important that you be nice to yourself. You got to see that you have a new chance to start again and that chance is RIGHT NOW!

  3. Know where you want to go:
    Knowing where you want to go in life is key and I recommend you to search for it right now or after this post.

    This is key because you will feel that you have a purpose to work on. You will have a mission in this life. It will give your life meaning, your confidence will get better and you will feel awesome everyday. Not because you can show to people what you have accomplished. No, because you know that this is your project and this is your life. And you are shaping it in the way you want to make it.

    Thinking about what you want in life is very important. Get clear on this and make up goals.

    Here are a few questions to get you started:
    "What do I want to have accomplished on my death bed?"
    "What do I to have done in 5 years?"
    "What do I always want to have done since I was a kid?"
    "The answers I just got, how can I change those into actionable actions?"

    You have to remember that your time on this planet is limited. So use your time well, craft your own purpose, go after it and make your life worthwhile, every day.
If you get these 3 things right you will be of a lot better than before. There are more techniques for this battle with yourself but lets start here.

See you soon at +90 days!
Thomas

(Btw counter will be at 90 days in about 6 hours)
Click to expand...
Amazing words, how do u write like a pro?
 
ThomasV said:
Yow everyone I made it to day 90! I didn't have any struggles and it I feel pretty good.

Here 3 things that have helped me:
  1. Focus on what you want:
    In the past I found myself struggeling a lot with the urge, now days it is still there but passing the urge goes without any fight or struggle. What has helped me the most for dealing with the urge was to ask myself this question: "Why do I want to stay on nofap?"

    When you answer this question for yourself you start convincing yourself that where you are is much better than where fapping leads. This will make it easy for to overwin it because you see that place where you are as something better than fapping. Remember our brain is always searching for the most pleasure and the least amount of pain. Use that to craft your life.

  2. The relationship with yourself:
    This may sound strange but I sometimes talk to myself. I have found that I can be my own mentor/psychologist when I talk to myself. You don't have to be the strange guy who always talks to himself you can do it with a diary.

    Why does this help?

    It helps to get intouch with yourself. Sometimes we are afraid or stressed or angry and we don't know why. The basic reaction of someone who is addicted is to run away from painful emotions. But when you get intouch with these emotions you learn so much more about yourself.

    You basically get a better relationship with yourself. You care for yourself, you start loving yourself. Some of you may hate yourself, this is a bad place to start. If you hate yourself, you will never get recovered. YOU NEED TO GET INTOUCH.

    Respect your emotions, respect your insecurities, be nice to yourself, have a party for yourself when you succeed, follow your good desires, go after your dreams, have compassion for yourself.

    Here are a few suggestions to get in intouch with yourself: Meditation (to become aware), affirmations, talking to yourself, writing a diary, writing down who you want to become, listening to your dreams & good desires, felicitating yourself when you do something good. (drop your suggestions below)

    (A few recommended reads: You can heal your life - The subtle art of not giving a f*c - Radical Honesty - Letting go - The gift of imperfection - Verslaafd and liefde)

    The relationship with yourself is also important when you relapse, when you relapse it is important that you be nice to yourself. You got to see that you have a new chance to start again and that chance is RIGHT NOW!

  3. Know where you want to go:
    Knowing where you want to go in life is key and I recommend you to search for it right now or after this post.

    This is key because you will feel that you have a purpose to work on. You will have a mission in this life. It will give your life meaning, your confidence will get better and you will feel awesome everyday. Not because you can show to people what you have accomplished. No, because you know that this is your project and this is your life. And you are shaping it in the way you want to make it.

    Thinking about what you want in life is very important. Get clear on this and make up goals.

    Here are a few questions to get you started:
    "What do I want to have accomplished on my death bed?"
    "What do I to have done in 5 years?"
    "What do I always want to have done since I was a kid?"
    "The answers I just got, how can I change those into actionable actions?"

    You have to remember that your time on this planet is limited. So use your time well, craft your own purpose, go after it and make your life worthwhile, every day.
If you get these 3 things right you will be of a lot better than before. There are more techniques for this battle with yourself but lets start here.

See you soon at +90 days!
Thomas

(Btw counter will be at 90 days in about 6 hours)
Click to expand...
Wow—that is amazing! Keep it up!
 
O
ThomasV said:
Yow everyone I made it to day 90! I didn't have any struggles and it I feel pretty good.

Here 3 things that have helped me:
  1. Focus on what you want:
    In the past I found myself struggeling a lot with the urge, now days it is still there but passing the urge goes without any fight or struggle. What has helped me the most for dealing with the urge was to ask myself this question: "Why do I want to stay on nofap?"

    When you answer this question for yourself you start convincing yourself that where you are is much better than where fapping leads. This will make it easy for to overwin it because you see that place where you are as something better than fapping. Remember our brain is always searching for the most pleasure and the least amount of pain. Use that to craft your life.

  2. The relationship with yourself:
    This may sound strange but I sometimes talk to myself. I have found that I can be my own mentor/psychologist when I talk to myself. You don't have to be the strange guy who always talks to himself you can do it with a diary.

    Why does this help?

    It helps to get intouch with yourself. Sometimes we are afraid or stressed or angry and we don't know why. The basic reaction of someone who is addicted is to run away from painful emotions. But when you get intouch with these emotions you learn so much more about yourself.

    You basically get a better relationship with yourself. You care for yourself, you start loving yourself. Some of you may hate yourself, this is a bad place to start. If you hate yourself, you will never get recovered. YOU NEED TO GET INTOUCH.

    Respect your emotions, respect your insecurities, be nice to yourself, have a party for yourself when you succeed, follow your good desires, go after your dreams, have compassion for yourself.

    Here are a few suggestions to get in intouch with yourself: Meditation (to become aware), affirmations, talking to yourself, writing a diary, writing down who you want to become, listening to your dreams & good desires, felicitating yourself when you do something good. (drop your suggestions below)

    (A few recommended reads: You can heal your life - The subtle art of not giving a f*c - Radical Honesty - Letting go - The gift of imperfection - Verslaafd and liefde)

    The relationship with yourself is also important when you relapse, when you relapse it is important that you be nice to yourself. You got to see that you have a new chance to start again and that chance is RIGHT NOW!

  3. Know where you want to go:
    Knowing where you want to go in life is key and I recommend you to search for it right now or after this post.

    This is key because you will feel that you have a purpose to work on. You will have a mission in this life. It will give your life meaning, your confidence will get better and you will feel awesome everyday. Not because you can show to people what you have accomplished. No, because you know that this is your project and this is your life. And you are shaping it in the way you want to make it.

    Thinking about what you want in life is very important. Get clear on this and make up goals.

    Here are a few questions to get you started:
    "What do I want to have accomplished on my death bed?"
    "What do I to have done in 5 years?"
    "What do I always want to have done since I was a kid?"
    "The answers I just got, how can I change those into actionable actions?"

    You have to remember that your time on this planet is limited. So use your time well, craft your own purpose, go after it and make your life worthwhile, every day.
If you get these 3 things right you will be of a lot better than before. There are more techniques for this battle with yourself but lets start here.

See you soon at +90 days!
Thomas

(Btw counter will be at 90 days in about 6 hours)
Click to expand...
Broo this is one of the best tips Man thnxxx brooo for thisss.....It will.help in our journey
 
ThomasV said:
Yow everyone I made it to day 90! I didn't have any struggles and it I feel pretty good.

Here 3 things that have helped me:
  1. Focus on what you want:
    In the past I found myself struggeling a lot with the urge, now days it is still there but passing the urge goes without any fight or struggle. What has helped me the most for dealing with the urge was to ask myself this question: "Why do I want to stay on nofap?"

    When you answer this question for yourself you start convincing yourself that where you are is much better than where fapping leads. This will make it easy for to overwin it because you see that place where you are as something better than fapping. Remember our brain is always searching for the most pleasure and the least amount of pain. Use that to craft your life.

  2. The relationship with yourself:
    This may sound strange but I sometimes talk to myself. I have found that I can be my own mentor/psychologist when I talk to myself. You don't have to be the strange guy who always talks to himself you can do it with a diary.

    Why does this help?

    It helps to get intouch with yourself. Sometimes we are afraid or stressed or angry and we don't know why. The basic reaction of someone who is addicted is to run away from painful emotions. But when you get intouch with these emotions you learn so much more about yourself.

    You basically get a better relationship with yourself. You care for yourself, you start loving yourself. Some of you may hate yourself, this is a bad place to start. If you hate yourself, you will never get recovered. YOU NEED TO GET INTOUCH.

    Respect your emotions, respect your insecurities, be nice to yourself, have a party for yourself when you succeed, follow your good desires, go after your dreams, have compassion for yourself.

    Here are a few suggestions to get in intouch with yourself: Meditation (to become aware), affirmations, talking to yourself, writing a diary, writing down who you want to become, listening to your dreams & good desires, felicitating yourself when you do something good. (drop your suggestions below)

    (A few recommended reads: You can heal your life - The subtle art of not giving a f*c - Radical Honesty - Letting go - The gift of imperfection - Verslaafd and liefde)

    The relationship with yourself is also important when you relapse, when you relapse it is important that you be nice to yourself. You got to see that you have a new chance to start again and that chance is RIGHT NOW!

  3. Know where you want to go:
    Knowing where you want to go in life is key and I recommend you to search for it right now or after this post.

    This is key because you will feel that you have a purpose to work on. You will have a mission in this life. It will give your life meaning, your confidence will get better and you will feel awesome everyday. Not because you can show to people what you have accomplished. No, because you know that this is your project and this is your life. And you are shaping it in the way you want to make it.

    Thinking about what you want in life is very important. Get clear on this and make up goals.

    Here are a few questions to get you started:
    "What do I want to have accomplished on my death bed?"
    "What do I to have done in 5 years?"
    "What do I always want to have done since I was a kid?"
    "The answers I just got, how can I change those into actionable actions?"

    You have to remember that your time on this planet is limited. So use your time well, craft your own purpose, go after it and make your life worthwhile, every day.
If you get these 3 things right you will be of a lot better than before. There are more techniques for this battle with yourself but lets start here.

See you soon at +90 days!
Thomas

(Btw counter will be at 90 days in about 6 hours)
Click to expand...

Excellent work, brother!
 
So im a new guy on this site but an old addict that is trying to get over his unhealty desires.I've been reading a lot of post arround and i have some questions. If someone who passed this can answer i will be forever grateful .
1. How do you now if you need 30 or 60 or 90 days before rebooting is over ?
2. What are the changes i should be aware in this time ?
3. It's not the first time i tryied giving up on PMO ,but after just a few days my urges are gone,my libido is -100 and Jr. feels really limp ,like he is not there,thing that scares me .I love looking at girls but i dont feel that urge anymore.The question is,is that a normal thing in this process?
4. Can you date in this period of time ? And if yes ,can you have sex without beeing afraid you re gonna have another embarassing episode ?
5. What happens after you reach the goal you proposed ?
6. How do your body reacts to sexual intercourse after lets say,90 day without ejaculation.i mean,i dont think im gonna last more than 10 seconds.How do you manage that without getting things more awkward than they already are ?

Thanks everyone for beeing so suportive and keep up the good work guys .
 
Kinkster2016 said:
So im a new guy on this site but an old addict that is trying to get over his unhealty desires.I've been reading a lot of post arround and i have some questions. If someone who passed this can answer i will be forever grateful .
1. How do you now if you need 30 or 60 or 90 days before rebooting is over ?
2. What are the changes i should be aware in this time ?
3. It's not the first time i tryied giving up on PMO ,but after just a few days my urges are gone,my libido is -100 and Jr. feels really limp ,like he is not there,thing that scares me .I love looking at girls but i dont feel that urge anymore.The question is,is that a normal thing in this process?
4. Can you date in this period of time ? And if yes ,can you have sex without beeing afraid you re gonna have another embarassing episode ?
5. What happens after you reach the goal you proposed ?
6. How do your body reacts to sexual intercourse after lets say,90 day without ejaculation.i mean,i dont think im gonna last more than 10 seconds.How do you manage that without getting things more awkward than they already are ?

Thanks everyone for beeing so suportive and keep up the good work guys .
Click to expand...

1. I don't think there is a formula for it. It is different for everybody, just try it and feel it. Feel when you are ready, and when you are ready you decide what you want to do and what not.

2. More wet dreams, more intense emotions positive and negative.

3. I think that in the beginning your libido will go up and down. It will get more balanced overtime.

4. What do you mean with embarassing episode?

5. You can decide for yourself what you want. Always decide what is best for you. I like to set new goals.

6. Just say to the girl that you haven't had sex or fapped. They will understand it, and there is always a round two.

Keep it up brother!
 
Going into day 23 tomorrow after objectifying my beautiful wife of 33 years we love each other and she is doing this along my side. Our anniversary was 12 April 1985,she was 18 I was 23. Very inexperienced yet hell of of a lot of fun, my wife is blonde German hourglass figure.with awesome full back tattoo. I dream of her all the time. Feeling great about this reboot reset and defogger of my dopamine drenched brain. Our ultimate goal is real intimacy. Any tips on slips relapses?
I have been diagnosed as a sex addict and need some great advice any and all would be really awesome.
 
Foxislander said:
Going into day 23 tomorrow after objectifying my beautiful wife of 33 years we love each other and she is doing this along my side. Our anniversary was 12 April 1985,she was 18 I was 23. Very inexperienced yet hell of of a lot of fun, my wife is blonde German hourglass figure.with awesome full back tattoo. I dream of her all the time. Feeling great about this reboot reset and defogger of my dopamine drenched brain. Our ultimate goal is real intimacy. Any tips on slips relapses?
I have been diagnosed as a sex addict and need some great advice any and all would be really awesome.
Click to expand...

I cannot give you much advice because I don't know your story.
But one thing in nofap is important: awareness. Being aware of yourself and how you work. Developing this will help you understand the process behind your addiction.

Here are a few questions to help you start:

1. When do you get cravings?
2. What triggered it?
3. How did you feel when you got it?
4. What don't you want to feel when you get cravings?

Good luck brother!
 
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