Addicted to a game?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by fjerid, Feb 1, 2016.

  1. fjerid

    fjerid Fapstronaut

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    For the past 12 years, even earlier than that, I have been an active gamer. At the age of six-seven I started with button bashing on my uncles nintendo 64 playing Sonic. A few years later I bought my own playstation. The first edition ever! The famous big grey square looking box. From there I went to the slimmer edition of one. Eventually got the playstation two, which my mom threw down the stairs because I kept coming home with bad grades.

    I was so angry but couldn't do much about it. After that I did nothing but playing soccer outside, study and watch cartoons on cartoon network. In the eight grade (12 years old) I ended up with an unbelievably high score (540 of the 550points) and my mom got was so happy that she bought me a desktop inc. screen, keyboard, mouse. Which costed around 1200 gulden (600 euro's) at that time. It was a great gesture of my mom, but I wish she didn't do it.

    As I was surfing around on the web, excited as hell, I stumbled upon a site called download.com (it still exists to this day lol, but with a much different layout)
    It had a "most downloaded games" list and at number 1 was Knight online. Which is a pretty unfamiliar game in western countries but a GREAT hit in eastern countries. It is comparable to World of Warcraft but on a much smaller scale/quality. I got hooked.
    At first sight, i thought all those people in the game were just mere npc's. Until they started speaking to me. I had never, ever spoke to people from across the globe before. Especially not through a game. I wasn't even aware that online games existed at that time because all i played was offline playstation games.

    A whole new world opened up for me. I stuck around with Knight Online for a few years until I moved on to greater games.
    Dad quit his job, got lazy and times got rough for us. Which was the reason I aimed for free2play games.
    I played Knight online, Tibia, Gunz, Maplestory, Silk Road, Flyff and eventually World of Warcraft. Not to mention countless of private servers of all these games I just mentioned. I was a nolifer and school went terrible. My parents tried to remove and distance the computer from me but I outsmarted them each and every time. They even made a custom lock on the desk with a key. Which I borrowed and (secretly) copied after pleasing my parents with some good grades. This went on and on and I eventually dropped from VWO to VMBO. I don't know how to explain this because every country has a different school system. But it's safe to say i dropped from the highest to the lowest grade/class. I finished high school and entered a retail management school. Here, thanks to some classmates, I discovered a new type of game. MOBA's. I'm talking about League of Legends.

    I've been playing it for four years now. For at least 4-6 hours a day. And in the weekends I easily spend 8 to 12 hours a day.

    Now you're probably thinking GEEZ this guy has no life whatsoever. And you're right. But I recently discovered why I play this much and I want to share my two cents on it.

    #1. To escape reality.
    My parents have an insane amount of debt. Which impacted us greatly. (thekids) We would have no money to do anything except to pay bills, eat and sleep. So going out with friends simply just wasn't possible because even my mini-paychecks went to paying bills. Which was the main reason I locked myself in my room and played online games.

    #2. Friends.
    Over the past several years I've been trying to quit gaming for good. Only to find myself coming back to games after a month or so. The reason for this is so obvious. Yet I only found out just recently. Two months ago I moved from the Netherlands to live abroad. Leaving all my friends and fam behind.
    1 January I stopped with league of legends. It lasted roughly 30 days and I felt great. More energetic and social. More time, started reading books and playing piano.
    But I am now getting more and more in contact with my old friends which I used to play games with. Three days ago I started playing LoL again. Because guess what?
    When my friends were talking about the game on skype and whatsapp, i got really, really excited about the new changes and the upcoming new champion that I eventually gave in and HAD to try out.

    There is this saying that goes: "Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are."

    Choose your friends wisely my mom always ranted. I never listened. Wish I did.
    Don't get me wrong! I love my friends. They are good people and we had alot of good times together. But they're so stubborn that they won't give up gaming. As their motive to play games greatly differs from mine. So my next move would be to slowly distance myself from them. Or either stay strong and never give in to the cravings. I'm going to give option #2 an other chance.

    And somehow... I am positive that Nofap will aid in this journey of mine.

    Long post but from the heart.

    Thanks for reading my story.

    Much love ;)
     
    Musta likes this.
  2. That's way too much time to be gaming bro. No excuses, Try to minimize that.
     
    fjerid likes this.
  3. orez

    orez Fapstronaut

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    I am a gamer too but never liked online staff, as such I play here and there but not as much as I used to. You need to make a decision and limit your time yourself. I don't see problem with games, but if it affects anything negatively relationship/school/work then it got to go. Escaping reality like that is not an option, you will be brought back into world sooner or later and it will be painful.
     
    fjerid likes this.
  4. Donquixote Doflamingo

    Donquixote Doflamingo Fapstronaut

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    Haha man I used to play flyff back in the day! Good old times... loved the music, especially the title theme :)
    I've been addicted to league for 4 or more years, since Shen the ninja got released. Oh man did that game get me angry, in fact it made me really stressed out especially when playing ranked. Used to carry everybody with my rengar haha, and I actually came back to it about 6 or so months ago and tried Ekko out and got really good with him. Anyways, quitting was pretty hard but I eventually did it. I just thought about ranks and what those even mean in real life ( they dont mean shit!!! ) Now, if you were a pro and you were getting paid bank to play 10 hours a day? Sure! But I was playing 10 or even more than 13 hours a day... (Seriously..) and I wasn't doing shit with my life. Not trying to sound like an ass or anything, but most people that are addicted to video games are usually depressed, I know I was. And people think that playing a video game for 10 or more hours will cure their depression, especially league of legends.. yeah, no. Go get a better hobby and maybe pick up a sport and get good at it, it doesn't matter whether you're 18 or 30, it's never too late. Sorry for writing so much I just hate seeing people waste their life away..
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
    Musta likes this.
  5. Musta

    Musta Fapstronaut

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    Looks like you're quitting gaming cold turkey. That's the best way to do it! Gaming has affected my life a lot, in a negative way, and even affected my personality. It has put me in embarrassing situations too. That's why I have successfully quit HoN, CoC and Travian which were the most addictive games to me. Leaving them was hell but it's worth it.
    You should consider selling your lol account, you'll never be able to play again this way :v .
     

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