Admitting my addiction to edging... and trying to move on

Today I did what I would consider a relapse...again
I have not been abe to hold myself together since my longest streak in December of last year. Every time I try doing NoFap and pick up some momentum I keep relapsing (although thankfully not to porn, and my attraction to irl girls has returned ), and then I wonder to myself why I failed despite knowing the cause. That cause would be edging.
Many times while doing NoFap I would lie to myself and say that edging was acceptable because I was not doing the "O" part of the process. This flawed mentality led to me constantly building and building up urges from stimulating myself to the point where I eventually would orgasm. I have also noticed that my brain and the way I think are very different when I do NoFap with vs without edging.
When doing NoFap while edging my brain would constantly be foggy and I would be left feeling emotionally numb and sexually frustrated/angry for the rest of the day, until I eventually fully succumbed to my urges and inevitably relapsed. Many of the psychological benefits faded, but physically, I noticed that I got a deeper voice and stronger muscles after a longer period of time regardless of whether I edged or not.
When doing NoFap without edging, after a week or two, I would start experiencing many of the benefits that people in this forum mention (higher sense of confidence, looking at people in the eyes more, louder and better toned voice when speaking, etc.) as well as other mental and physical benefits but amplified (maybe because my mind was now cleared of excessive dopamine and I could feel and see more again).
These benefits were apparently not enough of a reason for me to quit masturbating to the brink of orgasm over and over again, as it is a practice that is both addictive and horribly time consuming (I've probably wasted the same amount of time when edging that I did while PMOing constantly way back). It has even gotten to the point where it can interfere with my homework and studying for big tests. The dopamine I get from it seems to be a substitute to that which my body was accustomed to while full on PMOing. I need to find a healthy replacement for this and get rid of this filthy habit once and for all. My life and future depends on it.
Now my question here is: What are some suggestions from you guys to take my mind off arousal that leads to edging? I've tried exercise and doing other tasks before, and as of now I'm trying to hold in a deep breath for a minute or so, which I've noticed can put my arousal to sleep for a while. Anything else would be appreciated!!!

 

Thanks for your reply man. I've also noticed that ever since I told some close friends (although not my family) about my porn addiction, I'm about 99% done with quitting that, with the only setback being the use of p-subs very occasionally (today was the case after a long time not using them). When mentioning my problem to them though, I didn't directly admit that masturbation and edging is still a big problem within my life. Maybe I did very vaguely, but not directly, hence why I kept up my dumb philosophy of continuing to "fap" while on NoFap because I thought that it wasn't as bad as doing it with porn. I was wrong however.
Honesty is a powerful thing, not just to yourself but to God and other people, as they will hold you accountable for your actions. I need to practice that more, and gain a better relationship with myself and who I am, as I've noticed that can be a problem sometimes. Thank you for your advice!