After years of trying, I finally reached 90 days!

TimeToQuitNow

TimeToQuitNow

Fapstronaut
Hi Everyone,

I'm expecting this to be a long post so I'll leave a tl;dr at the bottom. I never thought I'd see the day. I am no longer gripped by the addiction of porn and masturbation. I don't have any urge to look and I am happy with my life. I will briefly talk about my story and maybe some people here can benefit. I'll also give some suggestions for those who are struggling.

Some possible triggers for the rest of the post.

So I grew up in a mostly secular home, and thing like porn and masturbation were never seen as a taboo. I started masturbating around 12 years old and loved it honestly. I would mostly just think about the girls in my class that I like while jerking off. But around 13 or 14 all the boys in my class told me about internet porn. I didn't have an impulse to watch it before then, but I thought let's give it a try.

I didn't want to watch another man having sex so I started with lesbian porn. I fell in love with it. I loved how the girls would please each other. I became hooked and always looked forward to it when I came home from school.

At some point it transitioned from lesbian porn to femdom porn. I became a femdom porn addict from that time forward. I got into many aspects of it like humiliatrix, male chastity, findom, male slavery, ass worship, ect. Anything femdom, for the most part, got me going. I didn't care about chasing real girls. I just watched femdom when I was horny, and then went on with my life.

I knew while doing it that something was wrong. The porn I would watch seemed super weird. I also thought it was weird how much of a lack of desire I had to get an actual girlfriend. But ultimately, I was hooked and the pleasure I would get from the femdom porn outweighed my desire to cure myself.

At some point in my late teens I also grew very dependent on alcohol. I was drinking large amounts of it everyday, usually by myself. It was a problem that I needed to stop. So I did what a lot of people do when they need to quit alcohol, which was turn to religion. In my case it was Islam.

Note: I don't want to make it seem like alcoholism was the only reason for joining the religion. I had read a translation of the Qu'ran cover to cover and it moved my heart. Made me want to convert. But my drinking problem pushed me over the edge.

Shortly after converting, I decided to make an account on this website. I knew that porn and masturbation were sin, and that I needed to wait until marriage to have sex. If it wasn't clear by now I was a virgin. I figured the community here would help me on my way.

But what actually ended up happening was a vicious cycle. I would watch femdom porn, masturbate, feel bad, shower, repent to Allah, then come here and vent. Each time it was "never again". But it always happened again. For years. Many years honestly.

Fast forward about 5 or 6 years and I started losing faith in Islam. I won't go into too much detail about my de-conversion. In short, my main issue was that I lost faith in the day of judgement; that everyone that ever lived will rise from the dead. This started to seem too fantastical and unrealistic. Eventually, I lost my faith in Islam all together. I am still vaguely spiritual (I'm not an atheist), but I have no interest in organized religion at this point.

So after the de-conversion ended, I started to reflect on my life and realized that I was a late 20s virgin. I figured I should find out what sex feels like. So I decided to make a dating app account.

To my surprise I was getting matches and dates really easy from it. I wasn't on "Chad" level or anything, but I could average 1 to 2 dates a week. Not matches, but dates. Looking it up, this does not seem to be the case for most guys. I concluded that I must be at least somewhat handsome, which I didn't fully realize before.

After about a month of using it I girl I met decided to hook-up with me. Note that I was still watching porn and masturbating at this time. I told her I was a virgin and she was confused. She thought a guy as "hot" as me shouldn't be a virgin at my age. However, when I got back to her place, I could not get an erection so I remained a virgin. She ghosted me not long after that night. It was humiliating to be honest.

Shortly after that event I knew that I needed to give up porn and masturbation. My choice was simple. Either watch porn or get laid. I chose getting laid.

A few weeks later I met a girl who is now my current girlfriend. She was super supportive about me being a virgin and we took our time. I lost my virginity with a condom on. The sex wasn't great but I was happy to no longer be a virgin.

Shortly into the relationship we stopped using condoms. That is when I realized what the hype about sex was all about. Once I had sex without a condom, the thought of jerking off to porn seemed silly to be. It was like my third eye opened or something. Nofap became easy.

People often wonder if porn induced fetishes go away. I would say yes and no. Some of the extreme stuff I would watch doesn't interest me. But we do incorporate 'soft' femdom into our dynamic. For example, she generally takes the lead during sex. She sometimes pats my head and calls me a "good boy". We incorporated the chastity fetish in some extent. I don't wear a cage, and never will, but we agreed that she can masturbate whenever, but I can only cum through sexual contact with her. This turns us both on and makes us happy.

So what is my advice? Honestly, the easiest way to give up porn is to start having sex. If you are already having it, then really embrace your partner. Make it all about them. If you aren't having sex then I recommend getting a girlfriend. Waiting for marriage is a mistake in my opinion.

If you need tips for getting a girlfriend, or even sex, my only advice is this. Try. Really try. Don't half ass it and pretend like you are trying. Make it your top priority. Give it your all.

Anyways that is my story. I hope those struggling can take away something from this. Thank you for reading.

Tl;dr: I have struggled with porn, especially femdom porn, for years. My cure was getting a girlfriend and to start having sex. This is what I recommend to anyone struggling with this.
 
Guys can we stop trying converting him to religion? Thanks! One thing I agree tho you might want to reconsider the femdom stuff - usually it stems from low confidence and bad childhood. Not saying you should stop doing it just know WHY you like it. And if you've looked and understood the trauma that caused it and still want to keep doing it fine! HUGE CONGRATZ MAN! I hope you gf is of value and your relationship succeeds!
 
@TimeToQuitNow
Thank you for sharing your story.
I am going through a similar path now, as i was addicted to femdom for my entire life and, some weeks ago, i decided to quit all P and M.
I have a long term relationship with my girlfriend, and i already saw great improvements in my sex life (erection and sensations). Like you, we try to incorporate a little of the master-slave dynamics, but in a much softer way, of course.
Nonetheless, i still find that intercourse is far from being as good as femdom porn was. And i still keep being bothered by thoughts about femdom in my daily routine.
Did it happen to you? How could you overcome that?
 
@the sage glad to see you also giving it a go to quit all P and M.

My experience has also been similar with you in that I got into femdom port very early in life. With my first serious girlfriend, I always could only have intercourse when we role played - but that relationship eventually ended (because of a combination of issues, one of which included our sex life which was not healthy).

I eventually decided to go on this journey of quitting PMO - and am still going on with my attempts.

I am married now - and still involve with some femdom role—play with my wife. One thing I can say is - whenever I abstain for long enough - usually more than 90 - 100 days without PMO, sex with my wife becomes more than amazing. And I can tell you that whenever we do include some femdom role-play - the experience and feeling has been miles and miles better than any femdom port ever was. I guess the part of having a trusting and supporting partner puts one at ease and takes away the guilt and shame - and need for continuous escalation that comes with porn use.

Regarding being bothered by femdom thoughts in my daily routine - this happened to me as well. It took my some time to overcome this - mainly through therapy. I have been going to a therapist for close to 9 years now - and this has really helped me throughout my journey. Key thing to try to keep in mind is that femdom is a fantasy. Sometimes it is fun to play out fantasies with your loved ones - because ultimately sex should be fun and playful. However, interpreting this fantasy in everyday life (outside of sex play with loved ones) means that one ends up living in fantasy, which is not a healthy way of going through life.

I know the difficulties involved - because nowadays it seems triggers are everywhere, TV, adverts, social media etc etc. Right now I am still continuing my therapy and also incorporating meditation in my daily routine. Exercise and good eating habits is also important - as this boosts testosterone and other healthy hormones which help in living a healthy daily life.

Anyways - that;s been my experience and I’d be keen to follow your progress over the coming weeks!!
 
Thank you for your reply, @Warlockchieftan !
Great to see that you are able to have amazing sex whith your wife while abstaining from PMO. I guess this is my ultimate goal today, so your message gives me the necessary optimism.
If i can ask something, when you abstain from P, do you also abstain for M, or not necessarily?
Today i am abstaining from both. I dont feel any urge to go back to P, but i feel the need to M, since my girlfriend is (understandably) not always willing to have sex.
I think about going back to M after the 90 days of complete abstaining, but i worry that i would end up to M thinking about femdom, so maybe it would be a setback.
What do you think about it?
 
@the sage Glad to see you’re making great progress with refraining from P! And sure happy to share my experience here.

When I refrain from P, I try to refrain from M as well - for the very reason that I feel O is something that is meant to be a shared experience with a loved one, and not by myself. So in other words, when the M is happening together with my wife, then I’m fine with that - but I try to refrain from doing it by myself alone (if I M by myself alone, generally I would count that as a relapse).

However, it is worth mentioning every person’s situation is different - and only you yourself will know whether any of these really affect you or not :) if you realize that doing M by yourself has the same negative effects on you as PMO generally does, then I would suggest only M together with your wife.

And it all depends on situation - for example, recently I was in separate country from my wife for 3 months (due to work reason) - and during this period I fully refrained from P successfully. However, there was one time I did M and O but during a video call with my wife, so I personally did not count it as a relapse (and to be honest I did feel like this was more of a real two-sided satisfaction rather than me M-ing by myself).

Hopefully this provides some context - but as I say, it really depends on your situation - being honest to oneself is probably the most important thing in this recovery process.

Stay strong brother and keep progressing with the positive journey!
 
Thanks everyone for the replies! I don't come here much anymore, so I am just seeing them. Sadly, I just relapsed after a long time of not doing it. But I will stay strong and just try again. I am hoping for all of your encouragement.

fapequalsdeath said:
Guys can we stop trying converting him to religion? Thanks! One thing I agree tho you might want to reconsider the femdom stuff - usually it stems from low confidence and bad childhood. Not saying you should stop doing it just know WHY you like it. And if you've looked and understood the trauma that caused it and still want to keep doing it fine! HUGE CONGRATZ MAN! I hope you gf is of value and your relationship succeeds!
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Thank you so much. And I think you might be right about the femdom stuff. The longer I am in this relationship, the more that I gain confidence and some of the extreme femdom fetishes don't sound even remotely appealing to me, even though I used to like it.

Warlockchieftan said:
Glad to hear about your recovery journey bro - and that you’re going strong!

Wish you all the happiness in your relationship and onward journey!!
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Thank you. Wish me luck getting back to 90 days!

the sage said:
@TimeToQuitNow
Thank you for sharing your story.
I am going through a similar path now, as i was addicted to femdom for my entire life and, some weeks ago, i decided to quit all P and M.
I have a long term relationship with my girlfriend, and i already saw great improvements in my sex life (erection and sensations). Like you, we try to incorporate a little of the master-slave dynamics, but in a much softer way, of course.
Nonetheless, i still find that intercourse is far from being as good as femdom porn was. And i still keep being bothered by thoughts about femdom in my daily routine.
Did it happen to you? How could you overcome that?
Click to expand...

Yea, I wouldn't say the fetish ever completely goes away. Like, in a moment I just watched femdom and relapsed. I feel disguested by what I did.

Personally, I prefer intercourse to femdom porn. But I am not sure if that is purely just physical. Like, a vagina feels better than my hand.

I would say however that my desire to watch porn gives a rush that sex doesn't give, if that makes sense. Like, it is a go go go mindset that I just need to release my cum. But with sex, it feels like a slow build up. This causes me to cum slower in sex than with porn. But I always feel better after sex and worse after porn. I feel a strong connection with my partner and that I am growing as a person.

Do you relate to any of that?

Warlockchieftan said:
@the sage glad to see you also giving it a go to quit all P and M.

My experience has also been similar with you in that I got into femdom port very early in life. With my first serious girlfriend, I always could only have intercourse when we role played - but that relationship eventually ended (because of a combination of issues, one of which included our sex life which was not healthy).

I eventually decided to go on this journey of quitting PMO - and am still going on with my attempts.

I am married now - and still involve with some femdom role—play with my wife. One thing I can say is - whenever I abstain for long enough - usually more than 90 - 100 days without PMO, sex with my wife becomes more than amazing. And I can tell you that whenever we do include some femdom role-play - the experience and feeling has been miles and miles better than any femdom port ever was. I guess the part of having a trusting and supporting partner puts one at ease and takes away the guilt and shame - and need for continuous escalation that comes with porn use.

Regarding being bothered by femdom thoughts in my daily routine - this happened to me as well. It took my some time to overcome this - mainly through therapy. I have been going to a therapist for close to 9 years now - and this has really helped me throughout my journey. Key thing to try to keep in mind is that femdom is a fantasy. Sometimes it is fun to play out fantasies with your loved ones - because ultimately sex should be fun and playful. However, interpreting this fantasy in everyday life (outside of sex play with loved ones) means that one ends up living in fantasy, which is not a healthy way of going through life.

I know the difficulties involved - because nowadays it seems triggers are everywhere, TV, adverts, social media etc etc. Right now I am still continuing my therapy and also incorporating meditation in my daily routine. Exercise and good eating habits is also important - as this boosts testosterone and other healthy hormones which help in living a healthy daily life.

Anyways - that;s been my experience and I’d be keen to follow your progress over the coming weeks!!
Click to expand...


Thank you for sharing this. It is truely inspiring and I hope that I can achieve the level you have. I feel I am just keeping my legs in the water of recovery, but this relapse discourages me a lot. What can we do to combat these fantasies? What has worked for you?
 
TimeToQuitNow said:
@seven zero four I am not sure if we are allowed to have religious debates on this website but I'll respond since you replied


You said that you couldn't come to terms to believing in the day of judgement, but if Allah already created you once can He not resurrect you. There's a specific example for this in the Quran especially for people who mention. Quran chapter 79:

8. (Some) hearts that Day will shake with fear and anxiety.

9. Their eyes cast down.

10. They say: "Shall we indeed be returned to (our) former state of life?

11. "Even after we are crumbled bones?"

12. They say: "It would in that case, be a return with loss!"

13. But only, it will be a single Zajrah [shout (i.e., the second blowing of the Trumpet)]. (See Verse 37:19).

14. When, behold, they find themselves over the earth alive after their death,


You also said that it doesn't associate with how Merciful God is. God's mercy is extended for those in the hereafter who believe in Him. Not with those who disbelieved in Him. If you were Muslim you would have read about Allah's 99 names. The Most Merciful also named Himself
AL-HASEEB The Reckoner. What about those believers and good doers while believing and following Islam have the ultimate reward. That is the mercy from His Lord.

I gave up my faith in Islam because I realized it made too many magical claims that I could no longer accept to be true based purely on faith. The biggest one for me was the concept of the day of judgement. The idea that everyone who ever lived is going to magically rise from their graves with their bodies reconstructed just seems like an extremely unlikely scenario. Then after that event, most of humanity would end up in hell which is not consistent with the most merciful God.



Where did you get this theory of Adam being Jewish? Do you even know when Jews came into being? It started from Jacob. So how can Adam be a jew? Makes no sense. Also your theory of evolution still hasn't found any missing link. If you were to tell me every single human being from Russia to Brazil in their commonalities all came from monkeys while monkeys within the same selves have many different species while we don't also doesn't make sense. Not to mention evolution on a minor scale such as if a human being goes to a colder place their hair would get thicker to protect them from the cold yet Indians have the extreme heat and are hairy while Poles live in extreme cold yet are not as hairy. No trend set there either.


Even in the quote you mentioned it brings up a magical thing I no longer believe in. It refers to man as the son of Adam. Adam was a mythical Jewish figure made from clay. This is in contradiction with science that affirms we evolved from a pack of monkeys. Looking into evolution, knowing what I know now about it, it would be foolish for me to outright deny this theory. Any ideology that requires one to disbelieve in it, is one that is trivially untrue, and I can disregard that ideology entirely.



Now you're saying there's an invisible angel. Angels are not shown to mankind. They are a creation of God meant to be shown in the afterlife and only Prophets and messengers see them. If you say I can't believe in something you can't see let me give you an analogy. If a camel walks through a desert and leaves foot prints and you didn't see the camel how would you know it was there. Because of the footprints. Same way Allah has sent messengers and Prophets and Messengers with revelations and shown you the entirety of His creation from the sky, earth and the seas to the cosmos to the different animals which can't come in it's perfect forms to see. If you think that comes it comes from nothing then mathematics isn't your strongest point. Also the heavens are not just a vacuum of space. There are more stars in the universe than grains of sands. Between them there is space.


These first 4 verses you mentioned is saying that there is an invisible angel with a trumpet somewhere in the sky waiting to blow it and start the day of judgement. Why should I be afraid of an invisible entity who's existence I can't confirm?

Then after he blows that trumpet the heavens open up. The heavens are just the vacuum of space. It opening up doesn't make any sense.




Yes Quran is the literal speech of Allah sent to Muhammad peace be upon him, but if you have a bible that can leave room for human interpretation you don't think that there can be human error. Which there is. Some bibles have verse that other bibles don't have and so which one should they believe? One christian interprets a verse in his own way and then puts his own belief into it yet another christian says no that's not what it says. See the difference?

These verses here are in contradiction with the most merciful God. If Allah was truly merciful, there would be no hell (especially not an eternal one). If there is a hell, then Allah isn't the most merciful. Either way, the religion is contradictory.

It mentioned you must believe in our Ayat completely. This leaves very little wiggle room for reinterpretation. It is standard Islamic belief that the Qur'an is the literal speech of Allah. Meaning that everything in it must be exactly correct. One error makes the whole thing false. But I see tons of errors in the Qur'an. This is an issue that Islam has that most religions do not. For example, I'm not a Christian, but at least they aren't saying that the Bible is the literal speech of God. Rather, they see it as the inspired speech of God. So it is easier for them to except new evidence and modernize while keeping a faith foundation. I don't know how one can do this with Islam without disregarding the primary "miracle" which is the Qur'an.


You are not The Creator. Every single thing Allah has recorded and He is The Judge and will show you the evidence for your sins. You and me are not. If you didn't have evidence to believe in Islam why did you revert? Did you read the historical and scientifical miracles of the Quran. Did you read the biography of the Prophet peace be upon him. Did you read why other people revert?


It says we record in a book. I could record anything in a book. Doesn't mean much.

Finally, it threatens with hellfire but doesn't give an actual argument. It is just an empty threat. I could say that if you don't pray to Zeus he will strike with a lightning bolt. But this threat wouldn't scare you because I never established that ancient Greek polytheism is the true religion. But Allah in the Qur'an hasn't proven that Islam is the true religion; he just asserts it to be true. So why should I be afraid?

If you find Islam to help you in your goals, whether in nofap or other areas of life, than more power to you! But for me, I find it way easier to avoid porn and masturbation without religion. And in general, I am a much happier person. Took a bit at first, I felt lost when I first left. But now I feel spiritually fulfilled in life and I am happier than I ever was as a Muslim. Best of luck to you.
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TimeToQuitNow said:
Just relapsed again after about 3 weeks. Just got to keep going I guess
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You can do it again, you can reach 90 days again. When I read your story, I realized that, to some extent, it was very similar to mine. Like you, I once turned to religion, and it truly gave me strength, but I still couldn’t break free from the PMO addiction. This led me to experience the same situations you're going through; every time I engaged in PMO, I repented because I had sinned. Like you, I lived through this for years, and over time, I realized that this sin was slowly pulling me away from my faith. At one point, I completely gave up praying. After those days, I truly woke up and realized the situation. I didn’t let the devil and my ego continue to do this to me, and although I haven’t yet fully overcome this addiction, I returned to praying and made sure to stay close to my religion. No matter how great my flaws are, I am trying to fix them, and my Creator is truly merciful. While writing this, I have no intention of forcing you to return to religion in any way—this is not something that can be done forcefully anyway. I just find our stories very similar, and I thought maybe your sins might have distanced you from religion. Perhaps this is the reason you find the Day of Judgment absurd. When people sin, they may want to leave religion at some point to escape the guilt of distorting it. Anyway, you don't have to believe in this thought of mine, I just wanted to write it. Take care
 
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Pick yourself up and get straight back at it again bro!

Three weeks is a solid streak (in other words 0 in the last month, you have been clean for majortiy of the days which is a win!) - and the fact that you were able to manage that right after a relapse shows that your long term trajectory is already producing results.

I have been doing solid 30 days - 90 days streak with the occasional relapses as well (most recent one was about a month ago), though I try to just focus on the fact that relapses still mean that I have been clean for majority of the time.

MOST IMPORTANT THING is to not beat yourself up about it (because as many have shared here, that usually leads straight back into another relapse).

There are lessons to be learned in every relapse, so do make note of it, and get back at it again - perhaps this time will be a 4 week, or 8 week, or 12 or more!

Look forward to seeing your next post here - stay strong and keep fighting the good fight brother!
 
TimeToQuitNow said:
Hi Everyone,

I'm expecting this to be a long post so I'll leave a tl;dr at the bottom. I never thought I'd see the day. I am no longer gripped by the addiction of porn and masturbation. I don't have any urge to look and I am happy with my life. I will briefly talk about my story and maybe some people here can benefit. I'll also give some suggestions for those who are struggling.

Some possible triggers for the rest of the post.

So I grew up in a mostly secular home, and thing like porn and masturbation were never seen as a taboo. I started masturbating around 12 years old and loved it honestly. I would mostly just think about the girls in my class that I like while jerking off. But around 13 or 14 all the boys in my class told me about internet porn. I didn't have an impulse to watch it before then, but I thought let's give it a try.

I didn't want to watch another man having sex so I started with lesbian porn. I fell in love with it. I loved how the girls would please each other. I became hooked and always looked forward to it when I came home from school.

At some point it transitioned from lesbian porn to femdom porn. I became a femdom porn addict from that time forward. I got into many aspects of it like humiliatrix, male chastity, findom, male slavery, ass worship, ect. Anything femdom, for the most part, got me going. I didn't care about chasing real girls. I just watched femdom when I was horny, and then went on with my life.

I knew while doing it that something was wrong. The porn I would watch seemed super weird. I also thought it was weird how much of a lack of desire I had to get an actual girlfriend. But ultimately, I was hooked and the pleasure I would get from the femdom porn outweighed my desire to cure myself.

At some point in my late teens I also grew very dependent on alcohol. I was drinking large amounts of it everyday, usually by myself. It was a problem that I needed to stop. So I did what a lot of people do when they need to quit alcohol, which was turn to religion. In my case it was Islam.

Note: I don't want to make it seem like alcoholism was the only reason for joining the religion. I had read a translation of the Qu'ran cover to cover and it moved my heart. Made me want to convert. But my drinking problem pushed me over the edge.

Shortly after converting, I decided to make an account on this website. I knew that porn and masturbation were sin, and that I needed to wait until marriage to have sex. If it wasn't clear by now I was a virgin. I figured the community here would help me on my way.

But what actually ended up happening was a vicious cycle. I would watch femdom porn, masturbate, feel bad, shower, repent to Allah, then come here and vent. Each time it was "never again". But it always happened again. For years. Many years honestly.

Fast forward about 5 or 6 years and I started losing faith in Islam. I won't go into too much detail about my de-conversion. In short, my main issue was that I lost faith in the day of judgement; that everyone that ever lived will rise from the dead. This started to seem too fantastical and unrealistic. Eventually, I lost my faith in Islam all together. I am still vaguely spiritual (I'm not an atheist), but I have no interest in organized religion at this point.

So after the de-conversion ended, I started to reflect on my life and realized that I was a late 20s virgin. I figured I should find out what sex feels like. So I decided to make a dating app account.

To my surprise I was getting matches and dates really easy from it. I wasn't on "Chad" level or anything, but I could average 1 to 2 dates a week. Not matches, but dates. Looking it up, this does not seem to be the case for most guys. I concluded that I must be at least somewhat handsome, which I didn't fully realize before.

After about a month of using it I girl I met decided to hook-up with me. Note that I was still watching porn and masturbating at this time. I told her I was a virgin and she was confused. She thought a guy as "hot" as me shouldn't be a virgin at my age. However, when I got back to her place, I could not get an erection so I remained a virgin. She ghosted me not long after that night. It was humiliating to be honest.

Shortly after that event I knew that I needed to give up porn and masturbation. My choice was simple. Either watch porn or get laid. I chose getting laid.

A few weeks later I met a girl who is now my current girlfriend. She was super supportive about me being a virgin and we took our time. I lost my virginity with a condom on. The sex wasn't great but I was happy to no longer be a virgin.

Shortly into the relationship we stopped using condoms. That is when I realized what the hype about sex was all about. Once I had sex without a condom, the thought of jerking off to porn seemed silly to be. It was like my third eye opened or something. Nofap became easy.

People often wonder if porn induced fetishes go away. I would say yes and no. Some of the extreme stuff I would watch doesn't interest me. But we do incorporate 'soft' femdom into our dynamic. For example, she generally takes the lead during sex. She sometimes pats my head and calls me a "good boy". We incorporated the chastity fetish in some extent. I don't wear a cage, and never will, but we agreed that she can masturbate whenever, but I can only cum through sexual contact with her. This turns us both on and makes us happy.

So what is my advice? Honestly, the easiest way to give up porn is to start having sex. If you are already having it, then really embrace your partner. Make it all about them. If you aren't having sex then I recommend getting a girlfriend. Waiting for marriage is a mistake in my opinion.

If you need tips for getting a girlfriend, or even sex, my only advice is this. Try. Really try. Don't half ass it and pretend like you are trying. Make it your top priority. Give it your all.

Anyways that is my story. I hope those struggling can take away something from this. Thank you for reading.

Tl;dr: I have struggled with porn, especially femdom porn, for years. My cure was getting a girlfriend and to start having sex. This is what I recommend to anyone struggling with this.
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Congratulations dude by the way love your profile picture.
 
Deleted Account said:
is 90 day may rest your rain immediately!!
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Thank you

randomodnar said:
You can do it again, you can reach 90 days again. When I read your story, I realized that, to some extent, it was very similar to mine. Like you, I once turned to religion, and it truly gave me strength, but I still couldn’t break free from the PMO addiction. This led me to experience the same situations you're going through; every time I engaged in PMO, I repented because I had sinned. Like you, I lived through this for years, and over time, I realized that this sin was slowly pulling me away from my faith. At one point, I completely gave up praying. After those days, I truly woke up and realized the situation. I didn’t let the devil and my ego continue to do this to me, and although I haven’t yet fully overcome this addiction, I returned to praying and made sure to stay close to my religion. No matter how great my flaws are, I am trying to fix them, and my Creator is truly merciful. While writing this, I have no intention of forcing you to return to religion in any way—this is not something that can be done forcefully anyway. I just find our stories very similar, and I thought maybe your sins might have distanced you from religion. Perhaps this is the reason you find the Day of Judgment absurd. When people sin, they may want to leave religion at some point to escape the guilt of distorting it. Anyway, you don't have to believe in this thought of mine, I just wanted to write it. Take care
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Thank you. If religion works for you, keep at it! I am not here to stop people from believing. I just wanted to share my story of how leaving my faith helped me more than staying with it. For others the opposite might be true. Find what works for you.

I can't say whether or not sins got me to find the day of judgement absurd. But I generally have difficulty believing in miracles. That one seems way fantastical to me. I never seen anyone rise from the dead. And we are talking about everyone doing it all at once with the universe being destroyed and angels being there to read your good and bad deeds. Hard to wrap my mind around.

I generally prefer natural explanations to things, although I try not to rule out spirituality entirely. But I think people need to find a personal path that works for them. If Islam is that path for you, then I hope it helps you in your life.

Warlockchieftan said:
Pick yourself up and get straight back at it again bro!

Three weeks is a solid streak (in other words 0 in the last month, you have been clean for majortiy of the days which is a win!) - and the fact that you were able to manage that right after a relapse shows that your long term trajectory is already producing results.

I have been doing solid 30 days - 90 days streak with the occasional relapses as well (most recent one was about a month ago), though I try to just focus on the fact that relapses still mean that I have been clean for majority of the time.

MOST IMPORTANT THING is to not beat yourself up about it (because as many have shared here, that usually leads straight back into another relapse).

There are lessons to be learned in every relapse, so do make note of it, and get back at it again - perhaps this time will be a 4 week, or 8 week, or 12 or more!

Look forward to seeing your next post here - stay strong and keep fighting the good fight brother!
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Thank you. I am on day 5 again. I like your advice about not beating yourself up. I find that feeling intense shame or guilt only serves to make you feel bad. It doesn't make the situation better. All I can do is pick myself back up.

achyuta said:
Congratulations dude by the way love your profile picture.
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Thank you. I'm glad you like the profile pic :D
 
TimeToQuitNow said:
Waiting for marriage is a mistake in my opinion.
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What?

I don't know what I say but, your words and opinions made me feel bad and sounded like disobedience.
Im also feeling jealous. Ahh... how to say?

Hey, that is zina, we can't do Zina actually that is the ruling. But, you just made it clear that "marriage" (Although you didn't choose that path) potentially can resolve the issue.

Happy to hear about your biggest victory ever.
But, sad for Zina!
Hope you get married soon.
 
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