Any Advice in being a Man?

Excellent point McGyver -> women despise men (romantically) who openly emote. I've never ONCE met a woman who said "My boyfriend cries openly, tells me all his feelings and often loses control of himself as he speaks, and this makes me love him more." Weakness disgusts women. Pick up any romance novel, and who is on the cover? A strong, emotionless (not passionless) shirtless man.

Weakness disgusts children. What child tells his friends "My Dad refuses to lift weights, has a BMI of 14, and my Mom can throw him across the room?" No child would EVER state this, he'd carry his father's weakness with great, secret, shame. Most children believe their fathers to be "the strongest man in the world." This creates a psychological safe place. A child with a weak father finds himself at risk of great insecurity.

This may be a very base reality, but it reflects what society needs from men: Enough stoicism to provide/protect and resist the unrestrained wishes of women/children. Perhaps women who appreciated weak men once existed, but they soon left the gene pool.

The OP's desire for honesty, integrity, and strength reflect the dissonance between his self-image and what his biological drive for masculinity demands.

What OP would be good to remember: His self-awareness "I'm mean" betrays the reality that he probably is NOT that mean. A truly mean, narcissistic, or damaged individual fails to understand his actions' influence on others. "That person deserved my harsh language, for why was my burger made wrongly." A strong man reacts with gentleness at honest mistakes and only becomes firm and unyielding in the face of dishonesty or malicious intent.

Advice: Concentrate on measurable actions, always be as honest as possible, etc. Keep a log of your successes. Note when you're kind, when you're in control of your reactions. You may find you're more of a "man" than you believed at first.