Nightbynight
Fapstronaut
I see alot of threads with men wondering if they're bi or gay.
Whether a man is or not, porn can certainly be the reason he first asks the question of himself, discovery or addiction?
I had the same internal struggle for a year or two, only to realise I am not (though I would never count out the possibility of bi tendencies as I'll explain later.)
The way I found out I wasn't gay however was by completely accepting I was.
It sounds counterintuitive I know but bare with me.
Porn takes you through a whole plethora of sub genres and by the time you come to nofap its likely you've seen and "enjoyed" EVERYTHING, at least in the moment.
I was stricken with guilt at first due to the way I was raised and also social stigma. "How can I be watching and even enjoying these videos?!" It can be hard to seperate feeling good in the moment with porn, from genuine happy feelings. You start thinking that maybe this is what you generally like (Who knows it could be).
So after plenty of denial and mental battle filled with guilt, one day I said to myself, "Fuck it, I am. And thats ok."
Once I fully accepted what I was internally, I no longer felt guilt for it. Infact once I embraced it and broke those barriers, the idea of preference seemed stupid to me. Later on I didnt even see my self as straight, bi or even gay but all and none. I said to myself I am me and I like what I like. I was free. Suddenly I could do what I wanted and there was no stigma as the internal judgment only amplifies the external. Long story short this ment I didn't "see" gay or straight, him or her just things that I liked, which allowed to me to experience people for them which also allowed me to research my preferences untill they were clear. Im not gay, I've only liked women in real life and porn is porn, and even in gay porn I was attracted to the controle and feminine aspects. If I wasn't able to dig deep into the details I wouldnt have been able to be so sure, but really its an after thought, I just dont "see" it anymore. I believe there's a chance that out of six billion people its likely many men would find a man they would sleep with in the right situation. Sex is often situational, a man so brainwashed in hate toward homosexuals could have been gay given a different life and perspective. Sometimes we dont know what we are capable of until someone unlocks that capability. Should I be bi if I only ever like one guy out of hundreds of women, yes? No? what if I really like the guy?
Most people will say if you slept with a man and enjoyed it you are bi, even if it was once in your life and you've only been with women. You are now capable, fair enough. Are we all capable of that in the right situation? Atleast once, probably more so? More crazy things have happened. Is sexual preference what I prefer? What if I like guys but prefer women am I straight? Oh I'm bi? But I prefer women.
It creates a group mentality, us vs them. If I prefer blondes it wont stop me from going for a hot redhead. So why do people have to go through a life shattering realisation for a what in some cases, is just a thought?
sexuality is a spectrum. hell, numbers would more accurately describe the spectrum than the terms we use, still I just feel it's irrelevant in most circumstances. When you realise it doesn't matter if you are or aren't then you won't have this problem. Just like what you like in real life, try everything and find your answers. You deal with that and let your nofap deal with the porn. Because gay, straight or transexual, porn is your problem. And sexuality? Well it's just not that deep.
Whether a man is or not, porn can certainly be the reason he first asks the question of himself, discovery or addiction?
I had the same internal struggle for a year or two, only to realise I am not (though I would never count out the possibility of bi tendencies as I'll explain later.)
The way I found out I wasn't gay however was by completely accepting I was.
It sounds counterintuitive I know but bare with me.
Porn takes you through a whole plethora of sub genres and by the time you come to nofap its likely you've seen and "enjoyed" EVERYTHING, at least in the moment.
I was stricken with guilt at first due to the way I was raised and also social stigma. "How can I be watching and even enjoying these videos?!" It can be hard to seperate feeling good in the moment with porn, from genuine happy feelings. You start thinking that maybe this is what you generally like (Who knows it could be).
So after plenty of denial and mental battle filled with guilt, one day I said to myself, "Fuck it, I am. And thats ok."
Once I fully accepted what I was internally, I no longer felt guilt for it. Infact once I embraced it and broke those barriers, the idea of preference seemed stupid to me. Later on I didnt even see my self as straight, bi or even gay but all and none. I said to myself I am me and I like what I like. I was free. Suddenly I could do what I wanted and there was no stigma as the internal judgment only amplifies the external. Long story short this ment I didn't "see" gay or straight, him or her just things that I liked, which allowed to me to experience people for them which also allowed me to research my preferences untill they were clear. Im not gay, I've only liked women in real life and porn is porn, and even in gay porn I was attracted to the controle and feminine aspects. If I wasn't able to dig deep into the details I wouldnt have been able to be so sure, but really its an after thought, I just dont "see" it anymore. I believe there's a chance that out of six billion people its likely many men would find a man they would sleep with in the right situation. Sex is often situational, a man so brainwashed in hate toward homosexuals could have been gay given a different life and perspective. Sometimes we dont know what we are capable of until someone unlocks that capability. Should I be bi if I only ever like one guy out of hundreds of women, yes? No? what if I really like the guy?
Most people will say if you slept with a man and enjoyed it you are bi, even if it was once in your life and you've only been with women. You are now capable, fair enough. Are we all capable of that in the right situation? Atleast once, probably more so? More crazy things have happened. Is sexual preference what I prefer? What if I like guys but prefer women am I straight? Oh I'm bi? But I prefer women.
It creates a group mentality, us vs them. If I prefer blondes it wont stop me from going for a hot redhead. So why do people have to go through a life shattering realisation for a what in some cases, is just a thought?
sexuality is a spectrum. hell, numbers would more accurately describe the spectrum than the terms we use, still I just feel it's irrelevant in most circumstances. When you realise it doesn't matter if you are or aren't then you won't have this problem. Just like what you like in real life, try everything and find your answers. You deal with that and let your nofap deal with the porn. Because gay, straight or transexual, porn is your problem. And sexuality? Well it's just not that deep.
