Beta to alpha

I think you're thinking about this in wrong terms. Being an Alpha is not about muscle. Adding muscle is easy but time consuming. The muscle might give you a self confidence boost, but it will not alter your self image.

With that said, if "being alpha" for you means getting more bulk - by all means do it. To better oneself is always good. If it helps you be closer to who want to be, your inner self, it will probably radiate on to others. Just be careful not to expect that others will see you in a way that is predetermined by you.

 

alpha, beta... It's all in your head

 

Lol, me too

 

Muscles don't make you 'alpha'.

 

I'm with @Spirituss on this one, it's all in your head. I don't know what "alpha" means to you, and the delineation of people into categories like that seems pretty unhealthy to me, so I would just strive to be your best self, not to think of yourself as either a beta or an alpha.

If you're just interested in getting in better shape, I can share my own anecdotal evidence. I'm sure it helps that I'm a teenager and it probably wouldn't have worked for everyone, but I literally just swim and run, 2-5 hours a day, and eat ~7000 calories per day. I do things I love to do every day where I work myself as hard as possible, and I eat enough to support it, and that's it. You mentioned losing weight quickly when you're trying to gain, I just had to learn to eat until I felt really sick just to keep up with the calories I burn. I'm sure there's a better way to go about getting in shape, so by all means listen to people who know what they're talking about instead of me, but I do it for my love of my sports, I've just had success with fitness as a result. I think the sport-centered approach to my fitness has also been really good for me mentally, it's protected me from any body image issues, because my appearance is never as high of a priority as how ready my body is to race.

At 5'9" three years ago, I weighed in at 115, and now I'm 175 pounds at 6', ~10% body fat. I relate to your struggles with losing weight when you want to be gaining; when the pools closed for quarantine, I got less exercise, ate less, and shed weight, more than 15 pounds in 3 months, but it came back for me when I got back in the water and I have to imagine that it's pretty doable for someone like you too.

 

Being a true alpha is a mindset, not a lifestyle.

You can pump your muscles with exercise and steroids until they're the biggest, bulkiest, most unnatural-looking things seen on a human being, but if you're still not comfortable in your own skin, or don't treat people with the respect they deserve, then you're not a true alpha.

A true alpha is someone who isn't afraid to go after what he wants or defend his beliefs, rights and views, but also allows other people to do the same. He is always respectful to others as well as himself, and guns for win-win situations. He learns and grows every day as his own man, and aims to succeed in every arena of his life. That is the man I've been working on myself to be, and the man I will become. You should work on yourself to be this man too.

 

I gotta agree with this. Personally, I've seem YouTube plagued with "love gurus" talking all this about alphas, betas, sigmas, and I don't know what else, they seem to know everything about that this, red pill blue pill etc... that's what have affected us honestly, internet has created such an unhealthy way to see ourselves and others.
Nonetheless, how did you get used to eat 7 thousand calories per day? I mean, for my I see that as impossible and I'm a hardgainer.

 

This is so true. The truth is that when you meet women and confront your fears, you realize that everything you see on the internet is an illusion. The real world is not like this red pill mentality, even if it's tempting to believe in it to stay on your couch^^

"Women are like that, I am like that, I can't do anything about it, the world is like that." It's all wrong.

 

Just a question but what are you talking about when you mean "Women are like that, I am like that, I can't do anything about it, the world is like that?" Sometimes there can be truths to the red-pill.

 

I'm too focused on myself to care about if i'm an alpha or beta male. I just carry myself with a get done with this right now and move on. also, I'm stubborn which is good for getting work done, but not good in relationships.

 

To be fair, 7000 calories would definitely be a training season day for me, as opposed to tapering, racing, or our recovery month. If I run 20 miles in the morning and swim 8000 yards in the evening, I'm probably burning more than 4000 of it. More than anything else, eating that much is just insanely time-consuming. I haven't left for college quite yet, so my meals are just whatever my family is having, so there's a lot of variety there, but I try to eat enough that I can't breathe well if I lean forward and I just feel absolutely miserable. Besides the three main meals, I eat loads of eggs, nuts, and bananas, and I try to drink a lot of whole milk, though rarely as much a gallon a day. I'm sure eating like that wouldn't work for everybody, and I may have to do things differently when I'm paying for my own groceries or if I just get too busy to put in the time to eat that much, but until then, it's worked great for me.

 

things like "work on yourself and women will come to you".
I've been approaching women since I was 19. It's been the best decision I've made in my life.

This advice to work on yourself first and let women come to you is just ego and misplaced pride.
Guys who do this are just terrified of rejection. behind this confident guy image, they are unable to be vulnerable and themselves and connect authentically with women. It's totally normal since they've decided not to go talk to them and re-focus on their life.
We're social beings, it doesn't make sense.

To have good relationships, you have to understand yourself and women. And for that, you have to step outside. When I say that, I mean getting out of your comfort zone and meeting women.
The number of guys who are not okay with their situations but do nothing to change. Who complain about not meeting women when there is an abundance of them all around them, every day. Whether it's on the street, while shopping, whatever.
These guys hear other muscular guys telling them not to worry, work on your projects and women will come to you. Act like you don't care, if she rejects you she doesn't deserve you. It's all pride and it hides so many insecurities. A woman who sees that you don't care, that you take a long time to answer her messages, will leave. She has no reason to stay.

What I've learned after 4 years of approaching women is that they don't care about your bank account and if you've become "someone important" in this world.
This is hard for most guys to hear because it takes away all their hopes of having a better future than what they have now. It makes them face their responsibilities.

Women are attracted to pure kindness, empathy and intention (And many other things of course but these things are internal and cannot be developed by getting something external like money or recognition). It takes work. And it's not by working on your projects, having muscle that you become more at ease with women. That's a myth.
You get good at piano by doing piano.

You learn a lot by confronting rejection. Much more than any book or youtube video of guys telling you how life works.

 

Exactly right, just as we shouldn't let feminism inhibit our desire for women, we also shouldn't let 'red pill' 'macho culture' bully us into doing things in a specific 'manly way' to attract them. We should just be the best selves we can be, make the effort to meet girls, get to know them and build rapport, escalate proximity and touch to show we're not afraid to enter their personal space, and the right girl will just happen to get on particularly well with us.

One thing I will add, though, from experience, is that it's better to meet women in places where you'll see them regularly and have chance to gradually build relationships with them over a long time, like clubs, societies and sports coaching - chatting them up on the street or in shops can appear a bit creepy because it's clear to them what we're after if we approach them out of the blue.

 

This is typical red pill talk. Guys who are in this community don't understand that it's possible to meet women without "chasing" them

I never said that having a lifestyle, working on your projects is a bad thing. On the contrary. But to become good with women is another story.
Besides, getting out of your comfort zone to approach women brings much more on a personal level than relationships. I'm not going to list all of these things because it could take days.

People who "let women come to them" don't have access to this. It's like they're not aware that there's another world, another worldview than their own.

It's your choice, I find it extremely pessimistic and victimistic to wait until you are on top before taking action.
Of course you need superpowers to seduce women, you need to be perfect, to have everything going for you. She will be attracted to you.
And above all, hide your insecurities, don't show her anything. The important thing is perfection

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LOL not very human all that ^^
Besides, it is often the fact of assuming to be lame and your imperfections that makes you fulfilled, instead of looking for superpowers.

This is a limiting belief.
By approaching women I learned to gain social intelligence (ability to adapt to the social world and social signs), to be more empathetic, more human in some way.

When I talk to a woman and she reacts in a certain way I know what to do at that moment.
I know how to recognize her emotions, how she feels, reassure her. I know that she also has her fears, her insecurities.
It's not a calculated thing, just, I've been practicing getting out of my comfort zone and putting myself in lots of uncomfortable situations. So it became natural.
Jealous guys will say there's no point, that I'm just a guy who chases women and is eager for sex. While we live in a social world. And that spending your life trying to be someone in the eyes of others (getting rich etc), when there are so many studies that have proven a correlation between happiness and relationships.

I will never really understand women, I agree with you. It's endless and thankfully so.
It's called life, you're never done learning. But some people never start living, for fear of failing, of rejection. After 4 years I still consider myself a beginner, unlike red pill. Although I have made more effort than any of these guys.

But if there is one thing I don't compromise on, it's courage, and never lying to myself.

 

From what I've seen @StarRider isn't one of the red pill guys - his views and points have been pretty balanced, and indeed convinced me to develop the mindset that I should avoid the red pill rubbish just as much as the feminist propaganda that stops a guy from showing affection to a girl he cares about.

He's not saying you should 'let women come to you' or that you should continually work on your life and avoid caring about women entirely, he's saying that it's best to just get your adult life established - get a job, learn to drive e.t.c - and then start meeting women once you've got that under your belt, which I agree with. I do want to get started in meeting women and building rapport with them, and without a doubt I should keep practicing, but having a job is still an important requirement, and I'm starting my first one on Monday - I want to get settled into it before I start rebuilding my social life again, otherwise trying to do both will result in both going awry. It's all about striking a balance between the two and getting priorities right. If anything getting a job will give me some more exposure to the outside world again that I currently don't have with COVID making attending clubs and societies difficult - might as well get settled into it now and wait until COVID blows over before getting back to hobby and sports clubs.

You don't need to reach the top yet, particularly at our age, you just need to build a foundation that shows you're someone who works hard, is organised and wants to get his life under control, which is what women like. Not many girls want to go out with a directionless slacker, quite understandably - would you want to go out with a directionless slacker of a woman, who spent all her time chasing and getting to know men and not making any effort to develop herself or get a job?

You're also able to gain emotional intelligence and practice social fluency when you're working in your job, interacting with colleagues, e.t.c, alongside the bonus of setting yourself up financially for the near-future. I do understand and absolutely sympathise with your desire to build up your ability to connect with women, and if you focus on your career for your whole life you will struggle in other sides of your life, but @StarRider is right in that lining up your ducks and getting all your other basic life milestones needs to be done before practicing approaching and talking to women. Also when you're slightly older you'll be more mature, your mind will have fully developed and have more of a constant idea of what sort of partner you really want before getting out there.

 

Even though i think that being alpha is more about your character than your muscles , i believe that it is perfectly possible to transition from beta to alpha.
Everything that makes you a better man will get you closer.
The goal is to become more assertive, more masculine, more determined , and self reliant.
Beta males have a bruised self esteem.
Beta males are weak from inside, they use pleasure as a crutch.

 

Really, I believe it's all a matter of mentality