Books on Masculinity

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by e8ight, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. e8ight

    e8ight Fapstronaut

    Can anyone recommend any books on 'reclaiming masculinity'? It seems 'No More Mr Nice Guy' is a firm favourite here, but just wondered if there are any others that people would recommend. I tried reading 'Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty' when I was rebooting last year, but I don't think I was ready for the message - it just made me feel shit about myself and didn't really give me enough in terms of practical advice (although I only got half way through it).

    In a way this is all with an eye to starting to date (I've had a couple of relationships, but all trainwrecks and interspersed with months/years of total dry periods), but not sure that an exclusive focus on that is helpful, as it is almost certainly part of a bigger issue - I'm sure that issue is a lack of comfort in my own masculinity!

    Please, nothing that even remotely whiffs of Mens Rights Movement type thought.
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  2. j_pwc_bat

    j_pwc_bat Fapstronaut

    As you do NoFap....... you will be STRONGER in all areas of life; the women will come to you.

    Check the Forum "Success Stories" for common benefits (confidence, decrease social anxiety, etc.)

    "EveryMan's Battle" is a good book -- shows the universalness of men designed to need Lots of sex.
    2525 likes this.
  3. e8ight

    e8ight Fapstronaut

    Thanks man!
  4. UpyetDown

    UpyetDown Fapstronaut

    I think that's a pipe dream for some as we all have various personalities and appearances. Skills with women are learned as well and not a magical blessing of abstained from porn and masturbation.
    kropo82 and Deleted Account like this.
  5. The Modern Man: Every man's guide to succeeding in style - Richard Hutt

    'There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.' - Ernest Hemingway
  6. UpyetDown

    UpyetDown Fapstronaut

    Very cool
  7. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    Obviously not lol but it's the most important step if you're unapologetically yourself around others you will attract the people who will love you for who you are thsts ultimately what matters above all after 11 months I see the bigger picture I'm still shooting for 2yrs but I see how I'm coming out of my shell and more confident to do things I never thought possible
  8. HooEmAi

    HooEmAi Fapstronaut

    I believe I want to read:

    Iron John: A Book About Men
    Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man
    King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
    The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
    No More Mr. Nice Guy
    Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man
    What is a Man? 3000 years of Wisdom on the Art of Manly Virtue
    The Code of Man: Love, Courage, Pride, Family, Country

    I'm just listing these books from the link because I want to put them down as the ones I'm interested in reading; they seem to fit my needs/curiosities.
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  9. moonesque

    moonesque Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Beyond the classic’s of Plato and modern Traditionalists like Evola I would also like to mention books recommended to the Marine Corps. Gates of Fire is fun novel on brotherhood and masculinity. I’d also suggest Ernst Junger On Pain and Storm of Steel. As well if applicable some european sagas, Gisla saga is one of my favorites.
  10. I was going to mention this one, but it's been some time since I read it so I wasn't sure if it was in line with the OP's question. However I do remember that it helped me alot at the time. I think I need to read it again actually.

    There are certain archetypal cultural patterns which have long helped men get in tune with themselves, but which, even back when that was written, were already breaking down amidst an onslaught of political/social re-engineering. It's much worse now, imho, and we need such positive character ideals to relate to, as discussed in that book, more than ever.

    Thanks btw for posting the whole list, I'm going to check the other ones out too.
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2018
    IdleEyes49 likes this.
  11. The Watcher

    The Watcher Fapstronaut

    I would suggest ''Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty'' actually this book gives really awesome informations and the core of the whole things in this book is all about do what you feel and let the chips fall where they may

    I don't know any other masculinity books but I can say classic movies back to 70's 60's 50's they can teach the basics. watch how men were behaving there specially with women at the time the way they speak how they were really behaving like gentlemen and full responsible, the old James Bond movies are also a great example.

    there are many channels on Youtube post great things about masculinity my favorite ones would be Art of manliness
    and Alpha m.

  12. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    That's some fine line man.
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  13. e8ight

    e8ight Fapstronaut

    Thanks for all the suggestions and a some thoughtful answers (chiyu particularly). It's a total minefield out there! I figured looking towards some writers on the subject may help to clarify things, but the selection process is just as fraught and diverse (and in places downright problematic) as the images of masculinity we're bombarded with from the more unconsciously manifested public sphere...

    I guess I've just got to get reading!
  14. e8ight

    e8ight Fapstronaut

    I got 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover' - it is exactly what I was looking for and really helping to make sense of what's going on for me both now and in the past. So thank's dude, appreciate the recommendation!
  15. HMHU

    HMHU Fapstronaut

    I believe HooEmAi mentioned the title: "The Way of the Superior Man - David Deida", I'm endorsing it a second time! These days I'm going through the book for the 2nd time, after having dabbled in different genre (classical books on gender dynamics, PUA, MGTOW) I think this book is worth the reader's time.
  16. GiantPanda

    GiantPanda Fapstronaut

    I can really recommend „Iron John. A Book about Man." from Robert Bly. It helped me a lot and I’m currently rereading it after a few years. I like the style of making me think about myself deeper rather than the books that claim "learn this skill, now learn that skill, now your problems will be solved". I mean I’m not some kind of computer to put some new apps on and go on.
    Besides that, one should be aware that reading can become an unhealthy habit just like Masturbation itself. My psychologist showed me there was a time when I was reading a lot of self help/ development books I made the same mistakes as with pornography, thinking to much about these things without actually ever doing them.
  17. Mubx

    Mubx Fapstronaut

    Hey there, I found the way of the superior man and meditations(Marcus Aurelius) good reads. Not too fond of books as I believe more in an experiential journey. I'll try to read some of the books mentioned here. If anyone can provide reviews on the book they list, that would be great cause it will exactly tell us what we are interested in.

    The way of the superior man: This book is a basic understanding of masculine raw energy. It takes you from understanding what is manhood and how exactly to get it back!

    Meditations: This is a book of timeless knowledge. It was written by a Roman emperor about 2000 years ago. He wrote it as a journal of ideas and motivations for himself but after his death, it got published. I have happened to gain self-control and peace from his awakenings. This also is a classic literature if you are interested in Stoic philosophy. I'll recommend this book to you if you want to understand what a mature man is like!
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  18. e8ight

    e8ight Fapstronaut

    I think Iron John might be where I go next, partly because of the point you make in the latter part of your post. I can find it beneficial to read something that has a poetic flavour (whether it is fiction or non-fiction), as I tend to absorb the message on a deeper level and as a result uncovering parts of myself I wasn't familiar with or had hidden as they react to the flow of the words - as you say self-help and advice can end up being information overload (so can fiction and poetry, but less so in my opinion).

    Good points man, thanks.
  19. e8ight

    e8ight Fapstronaut

    I will add one to the list, although perhaps approaching it from something of an oblique angle...

    A Wizard of Earthsea has been important to me in the last few years as my masculinity has started to awaken - written by Ursula Le Guin, so not a book on masculinity as many of these others are, but the central myth in there is moving from boyhood to manhood. Once could, by extension, suggest a lot of fantasy narratives by association, but this one is particularly powerful in my opinion (and short!).
  20. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    I would recommend a book on meditation. A secular one would be good, something on mindfulness.

    In my mind, If your male. Your a man. It's simple as that. It's in your blood. It's less of a question of learning how to he a man than how to unlearn your current habits that are keeping you away from your inherent masculinity. Stress and mental anguish being the big ones to unlearn.

    Using thought to beat a problem caused by thought seems counter productive. Use a hammer on the nail, not another nail.
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