Cant Start Again..... FRUSTRATED:(. HELP

Stop the self-deprecative behavior. Your'e chasing a perfect abstinence that is nearly impossible in todays sex-ridden culture. You've had long streaks in the past. What was different then that allowed for success compared to now. If you worried about triggering content online, get a filter, anything you have to do. If had many several months long streaks and several periods of constant PMO.. The only way I got out was to hit rock bottom and start over. The only way I stayed out.. was getting BUSY living. My internet access is restricted, I avoid being alone in my room like it's the plague. And I keep BUSY... wether that's with school, work, gym, all of it.

 

Just something I noticed, your username. Perhaps the issue is something much deeper, maybe you still see yourself as a PMO addict, perhaps analyse how you look at yourself. This may give an insight into your problem.

Try meditation it’ll help you clear your mind

 

Why did you start this journey? Maybe remembering that helps. Do you have it now? If you have what else can you achieve?
Nothing is more important than how you feel right now.

 

In a similar situation. I can barely go 3 days and bam. That easily. I am considering other options as abstaining from the internet for at least 4 days. And going other places. What I can recommend is going out in public. That way you aren't tempted to PMO.

 

143 days... That was an insane achievement! Better than most mens on our planet.

 

Buddy if you by accident saw hot picture or read something while watching movies what triggers you that should not be counted as damage to streak and recovery.If you look with purpose and desire something what can stimulate or trigger you that is edging or relapse depending on situation.Don't worry much about that no one streak are perfect.

 

"BeFree" i like your call sign. it is my goal too, to BE FREE.
many of the things you say resonate with my experience as a recovery sex addict. i'm interested in what you are saying, so if you don't mind i'd like to follow you.

you said: "Your'e chasing a perfect abstinence ..."
i know what you mean; me too.
i am keeping my promises, my morals, things i value. instead of chasing, i'm grounded, centered on these aspects. everything else falls into place.

you said: "If you worried about triggering content online, get a filter, anything you have to do."
i know what you mean; me too. i don't have private access to a computer. that's my choice. hard choice but its a road to freedom from addictive behaviour. that's the truth.

you said: 'The only way I got out was to hit rock bottom and start over.
i know what you mean; me too.
The only way I stayed out.. 'was for me keeping the memory alive of the devastation caused to me and my family. i could've lost my marriage.

 

Thank you Kligor for the plain and simple honest to goodness truth to our brothers. I will add, decide and take action:

• get rid of that stuff and stay away !
• Reach deep down and identify your moral centre.
• secondly identify your values. (eg. 'I want to be healthy mentally and emotionally. P M O is essentially a dopomine hit. Google rat experiments and dopomine. Dopomine can long term damage the brain. i don't want a damaged brain - do you?) Then keep them.

• If you feel an urge, tell an AP in real time. It really helped me. the act of telling my AP by being public about my addictive compulsive urges did 2 things: keeps me from being secretive about P M O, which reinforces the damaging habit; it made the urge dissipate immediately. And if it doesn't , ride out the urge feeling. It will subside, i reassure you. It does for me.

• if you choose me as an AP i will check with you daily.