Contains explicit words (Regaining the life back)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Saurav04, Dec 8, 2019.

  1. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

    In last 10 years the best I have abstain from PMO was 30 days appx. This time as you can see my counter is at 23 days. Yes 23 days of no MO. I am a very curious person so after not seeing porn for many days I saw porn for 3 hours just to see if I will lose my control and fap again but I didn't.
    In these 23 days I tried to not have much stress no matter if I will get bad marks or something bad happens etc. I found if there is too much stress me or anyone will take easy escape like drinking alcohol or PMO which doesn't solve problem but make you feel good for short time.
    After 10 to 15 days of no PMO it feels I am more emotional it's like I can feel other persons emotions also. After 21 days I thought let's see porn again to see how it effects I know that is bad idea but I didn't relapse or MO.

    Here is the main thing. I thought let's see normal porn and it felt like wtf they are doing,
    male pornstars are hurting the women and just penetrating non stop without feeling anything, this is not love making this is just act to make money. Then I went to see some rough porn videos on normal site like pornhub and xnxx. There was a video which was extremely rough, so bad that it has more dislike than likes and the comment was shoot the guy in head and kill that motherfucker. But some comments were like this b*tch signed up for that shit she is getting money. I don't know how someone can write that. That video was brutal tying a girl and slapping her, kicking her, punching her. Her face turned blue and bruises appeared as the guy was beating her while fucking.
    I was seeing a youtube video to learn how to leave PMO it said next time you see porn just think if the women is someone you love like your gf, sister, mother etc how would you feel. That thing comes to my mind and it literally bring tears. I feel like my mind is reconditioning again and I can stop even if I saw something too explicit. I am sure if I have been addict like before I wouldn't have thought like that and in past I have been so desensitized that whatever I see it doesn't effect me. Now I feel like more human and won't see porn again. Think like this if there is demand there will be supply. If there is demand for more rough porn some m*fuc** will produce it.
    Just imagine you get the person you love the most would you make love and explore together the sex.
    Or just try to imitate how pornstars fuck the hell out of each other.
    Sorry for bad words but I feel so angry on myself wasting so many years on PMO.
    I wish everyone good luck in regaining their life too.
    God bless everyone.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2019

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