Day 827 of lifelong awakening.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by DonGiovanni, May 23, 2019.

  1. DonGiovanni

    DonGiovanni Fapstronaut

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    I occasionally come back here to post up on how my recovery has presented new and different challenges, and how everything is possible with the correct mindset, set of tools, information, and lots of self-love.

    I was a PMO addict since an excessively early introduction to it before I was even 10 years old. On hindsight, it was all culturally and socially approved severe misogyny. You see, what we've done to ourselves, we haven't just done to ourselves. All addictions have a deep effect on our loved ones, and people around us in general.

    I don't get P cravings anymore. And that's a great success. But at the same time, the battle does NOT end there. Starting to deal with P addiction is just a small branch of the whole tree, DEALING WITH MENTAL HEALTH.

    If you dove into P addiction at a young age, I suggest you research the effect of addiction on the teenage brain. I also did cocaine, so I DEFINITELY screwed up my dopamine receptors big time. But look into it, it will shine a light on a whole new set of behaviors that could go by unchecked. This could make you just shift your addictive focus away from P and unto someone else, probably something readily available, like a substance or a loved one. ANy addiction wrecks havoc on your brain and requires some sort of recovery planned tailored to you, your brain, your needs, etc. ( not a doctor).

    I'm available if anyone needs any help, answer questions, or provide support. I've posted my story a few times before. Nofap was the first ray of hope in my recovery process, and the "your brain on porn" TedTalk.
    Thanks, everyone!
     
  2. miXhal

    miXhal Fapstronaut

    Congratulations on making it this far! Stay cautious, in this oversexualized culture, we can never let our guard down.

    I mostly like what you said, except for "lots of self-love". Self-love is not necessarily a good thing. I am by no means trying to imply that self-hate is good, just that putting yourself first can be destructive too. Don´t let yourself become what´s most important in life.
     
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  3. Spriritofawarrior

    Spriritofawarrior Fapstronaut

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    good post bro. I feel like I messed up my dopamine receptors too. I've never done any hard drugs, it's only my porn use which I think contributed to it. 800+ days means you've probably gone clear, and you're no longer suffering from any withdrawals of some sort. What benefits did you recieve+did you go through PAWS during your journey?
     
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  4. DonGiovanni

    DonGiovanni Fapstronaut

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    The self-love I'm talking about is this:
    self-love
    /ˈˌself ˈləv/
    noun
    1. regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).
    Thanks for you reply!
     
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  5. DonGiovanni

    DonGiovanni Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for writing! Well, as I've learned, addiction is somewhat more brain-related than substance or action related. You can be addicted to one thing, and just replace it with another. That's why I'm focusing so much more on dopamine issues rather than sex and porn issues. I might not have any P urges at all, but I do behave unhealthily towards sex. It still wreaks drug-like havoc on my brain, making me be a super cool awesome partner when I get it, and a disrespectful, spiteful teenager who didn't get what he wanted when I don't have sex. I'm in a serious, long-term live-in relationship.



    I did go through PAWS. I went through a long flatline, I also got those " superpowers" spoken of across this forum. But, truth be told, I think it was also related to my hands-on self improvement lifestyle I adopted when I began this journey, than just from avoiding PMO and having a longer and longer streak.

    So this definitely is a deeply rewarding lifelong battle.
     
    guyfrompoland likes this.
  6. !!!10years!!!?!

    !!!10years!!!?! Fapstronaut

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    we should be busy looking after our lives now on, rebuild our selves, erase 10 years of bad painting.
    thanks
     
  7. UK Lad

    UK Lad Fapstronaut

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    Hi, well done.
    What did it for me was YBOP by Gary Wilson the book, and the extra special book not many know about, Soaring Eagles Rebooting as the best remedy which there’s a link to it on my profile page. It’s about dangers of pmo from a Chinese medicine point of view. It’s being translated by @HMHU so give it a read.

    By the way, a bit about me..

    I’m on Day 409 at the moment. Second attempt.

    I was locked on a psyche ward 13 years ago after something strange happened to me.

    Long story short..
    I gave a bj to a guy for 4 weeks when I was 14/15. He was a friend who one night decided to take me somewhere quiet and sat me down on a box and I was just thinking what could I be doing here, he was having a cigarette then dropped his pants and said, it’s good exercise for your mouth. I was confused, he was stood on top of me and I began to feel his private, then it all went down from there. But as it was happening I felt like my whole brain was on fire or becoming dazzled and confused by having the guy do this to me. Because of this I began to masturbate using my hands. Which probably had a dire consequence on my brain mental health and back pain.

    So I moved houses and 2 years later I was introduced to pornography by my cousin. 3 months later I was locked up on a psyche ward for going crazy apparently.

    Drs put me on meds. It’s been on n off for 13 yrs. currently on meds but very low dose below recommended. Feels better plus the sooner I’m off it the better. Haven’t said a word to my dr he still assumes I’m taking a high dose. Tbh I really don’t know what caused the breakdown. It could have been pmo induced or genuine stress or gods curse for doing bad things.

    I’ve been through so many flatlines it’s unbelievable.

    But your journey is amazing. 800 days, I’ll get there soon
     
  8. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this!
     
  9. miXhal

    miXhal Fapstronaut

    Oh, then it´s alright. In this meaning, I can do very little other than approve ;D
     
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  10. Westsidejimmy

    Westsidejimmy Fapstronaut

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    Nice work,

    Congrats brother. I'm out to just over a year and I can tell now that I was so messed up for so long I've got another 6 months to go. It's a really powerful transformation. I've gone from freaking out over everything to being like oh this is happening now. Anyone that thinks PAWS from PMO isn't real needs to have their head checked. The last year has been the hardest of my life but I can now definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't buy into the superpowers stuff now but my interactions with women have changed dramatically.
     
  11. Pepezapallito

    Pepezapallito Fapstronaut

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    Hola, cuales son los daños físicos que pueden provocar el PMO.
    Yo no soy adicto a la pornografía.
    Pero si fui adicto a MO durante 20 años.

    Estuve leyendo la dopamina pero no encuentro los daños que esto provoca.

    Gracias.
     
  12. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Hello, Don.
    I'm 14, and I started fapping about 9 months ago.

    I'm glad I found this problem early on.

    One question, what does being high on Cocaine feel like?
    If you don't want to tell me, its okay.

    Side note: I'am never going to do drugs, and that is a promise. I'll stay away from the wrong kind of people.


    [​IMG]
     
  13. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    What happened? :eek: :eek: :eek:
     
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  14. DonGiovanni

    DonGiovanni Fapstronaut

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    Hello!

    I'm also glad you found this problem early on! I want to say that if you would've found the problem later in life it would've been worse, but, who knows what any other person experiences, right? Maybe your experience with 9 months might feel like what 20 years of PMO'ing did to another human.
    Anyway,
    being high on cocaine is a complete mindfuck. It makes you feel the happiest, weirdest, fakest, craziest, euphoria that your brain could've probably never attained naturally. It'll make you want to do tons of stuff unproductively, you'll want to talk about whatever for hours on end to no real goal, you'll feel like you are %1000 full of energy and ideas and all your ideas are awesome. But at the same time, you completely DREAD going low or running out of it. Coming down from that euphoria the SLIGHTEST bit makes you feel miserable because you're not at that TOP SPOT of the AWESOME HIGH. And it actually kind of never happens. You are forever almost getting there. And you pay the price REAL BAD right afterwards. You can't sleep. You can barely follow your thoughts. You can't sit still. Severe paranoia. You JUST CANT FAKE not being coked up in front of others. They KNOW. You look like complete garbage. SUPER sweaty, heavy breathing, talking nonsense. The next day, you've never felt so fucked up. Your brain hurts like you just punched it with fists dipped in jetfuel. Your stomach does NOT want food. Your body will NEVER feel %100 ready to tackle your day and this will go for the entire day. It's DEVASTATING. You've never been that miserable.

    DRUGS have a catch to them. They give you something your body cannot attain by itself. You can achieve OTHER feelings that can be equally and superiorly satisfying, but with LOTS of effort. Drugs are the shortcut.

    BUT BEWARE, cocaine on a teenager or young adult brain is MUCH WORSE! The fatty stuff that sorrounds your neurons I think, is much thinner than in adult neurons. And that layer actually dampens brain signals, so it's like getting a much louder SHOUT when one neuron sends another a message. This amplifies cocaine's effect but also it's huge damage, making your brain shoot out that much more dopamine, then making your dopamine things that handle dopamine in your brain to get all screwed up.

    sorry, it's really late here, not proof reading or anything, but trust me, google all this stuff. I hope that knowing how fucked up coke is, will make you take a more educated decision regarding doing it or not. It's your choice. But trust me, no matter what anyone ever tells you, no matter whatever the bullshit peer pressure is about, doing coke NEVER ends with a happy story. It never looks good. It's never just fun. It always fucks something up and takes something from your life. So, read up, be smart, make good choices, and keep on NoFap!
     
  15. UK Lad

    UK Lad Fapstronaut

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    How do you mean? ..
     
  16. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Plus the drugs industry is very dark indeed. We're talking even stuff as bad as people trafficking.
    Far better to get off on exercise/activity, music etc..
    Wish I'd known when I was young.
     
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  17. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

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    Hello mate, well done. Great success. Few questions, how long was your flatline? Did you have severe withdrawal symptoms? Did you feel as if you was in a flatline before nofap? And lastly did you lose your libido, how long did it take to come back?
     
  18. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    About the mental health stuff. Like, why'd they think you were crazy?
     
  19. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, it's super rare here to see someone telling the truth about "super powers".
     

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