Deafness is not a disease people

As a relationship "matchmaker", asking clients about their view on disability is completely unprofessional. Everyone has an ideal of their soulmate and will answer that they would prefer someone with no disability. It's like saying you would prefer your kids to be born without disability: sometimes it happens, but they're your kids anyway. Sometimes you fall in love with a man/woman and later they have an accident causing lifelong damage: it happens. Yes, life is more difficult. But everyone has a right to live in dignity.

You're supposed to match personalities, b*tch.

 

I completely agree with you... But to be a little bit witty... Deafness itself is not a disease, but some diseases can cause deafness.

 

All I can say is wow. I have a pretty serious urge to flame that site now but I'm trying to resist it.

 

I might add. That response is grounds for a lawsuit. Sue them!

 

Sure smacks of discrimination to me. In this lawsuit happy country I see it going through.

 

It's a sad culture we live in. We're inundated with movies, tv shows, commercials, and magazines that promote the "perfect" person. If you don't look sexy, have lots of money and are imperfect in some way than you're not worth it. It's a terrible, terrible collective mind set we have and should be changed immediately. If only if it were that easy. I say, yeah, sue the crap out of that company. Get some money out of it and maybe get some more gears turning about treating people with empathy and kindness instead of as aliens that can't be loved because they have imperfections. This is exactly what the feminist movement is fighting and trying to spread the idea of treating people as people regardless of their size, sex, race, disabilities or gender. I wish I could understand why people are so self-centered and mean sometimes.

 

If anything, she at the very least has A) Disability insensitivity and B) Emotional damages. She could literally sue for millions with the right lawyer. Emotional damages is a huge factor today.

 

I think it might just be ignorance on the part of the "clients" having never met the woman. I am sure if they had had some sort of social mixer they might not feel so intimidated. It sounds like this business owner just didn't want to take the time to help her out. I had a blind uncle and it is a huge adjustment and undertaking to be married or have a relationship with someone with a major disability. It can be intimidating for people with no experience or people who do not know sign language or know anyone with a challenge. It was up to the owner to relieve that intimidation in some way I think.

There must be dating sites for people with differing abilities isn't there?

 

The effect is amplified on the internet. Due to the one-dimensional aspect of interacting on the internet (reading off a screen, and writing), it is more common for people to think objectively. Like on a dating site, where singles are essentially assessing the traits of many individuals in their attempt to find "the perfect match". So their process may be efficient, but is it effective? I found dating sites to be a plague, much the same way that porn was in my life. At the end of the day, perusing around on a dating site just made me feel incredibly lonely, but I guess people have all sorts of different experiences with dating sites.

Perhaps the woman in question could refrain from divulging that she's deaf until a first date. Or she could ditch trying to find a partner on a dating site, as it's doubtful she would have much success there.

 

Nobody has to date anyone if they don't want to. You may not like it, but it is what it is.

Life ain't all sunshine and rainbows, I shouldn't have to tell you that.

 

But the dating "consultant" still shouldn't essentially tell that woman that you are "undateable on our site". Just extremely unprofessional IMO.

 

How would you have phrased it? You're legally obligated not to lie either.

The email is certainly incredibly pessimistic. I'll say that. If you're a dating company, you should at least be a bit more hopeful than that.

 

Them there, that be a dun defect. Yuck!

 

Nope not saying that at all. I just think many deaf and blind people may also want to date other deaf and blind people that is all. It makes perfect sense to me.

 

Pretty sure that's not where Limeaid was coming from... I interpreted her post to suggest that this deaf woman in question would have more luck if she applied to a dating site that was less purely objective and where singles were more flexible to dating people with disabilities. Do such dating services even exist though?

Not exactly sure why you're getting upset, we're just trying to provide practical suggestions here.

Sure, you'd have to make accomodations. I guess I was just suggesting that the woman in question might have more luck with someone if she was able to connect with them first before disclosing that she was clinically deaf.

It is easy to assume that I am trying to say that this women's deafness is a detriment to any relationship. Or that I'm saying that she should be "ashamed of her deafness". But that would be missing the point. I'm not saying she should be ashamed or anything, but having a disability does complicate such matters.

Dating through online dating sites is a game. And if you're willing to put yourself out there you have to play the game. It reminds me a lot of trying to find employment actually!