Do the urges ever stop?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Quitterrr, May 17, 2020.

  1. Quitterrr

    Quitterrr Fapstronaut

    182
    315
    63
    I've heard that in many addictions, the urges never stop, I wanna know if they ever stop in porn, people who have quit porn can you please answer.
     
  2. BigTruck

    BigTruck Fapstronaut

    23
    35
    13
    Im on day 16, and the mind fog haven't left yet...
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  3. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    Unfortunately my husband is a year and 5 months clean and he still struggles. Especially right after we have sex, which honestly really sucks.
     
    Wugazi32 and ANewFocus like this.
  4. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

    190
    96
    28
    Libido is men motivation. Thats a good thing. If u have proper woman the porn desire fades away, yes.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  5. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    Hmm... what’s a proper woman? Trust me, you can have a willing partner who enjoys sex and you will still be addicted to porn. It’s not about the woman /partner you are with . It’s about your addiction. Your coping skills that got highjacked. The sooner you get clean, I’m sure the less the urges. However, for many men, they get strong urges AFTER just having had sex with their partner. I sincerely hope that at done point the urges disappear and are gone forever, but for many over a year clean, they still have urges to pmo.
     
    Wugazi32, Gef 71, +TenPercent and 2 others like this.
  6. I think these urges disappear when we die. Meanwhile, let's try to make the best of every day we are alive.
     
  7. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

    93
    688
    83
    Wow I think this is too hard to imagine for me.
    I think if I had sex on a daily basis, I wouldn't think about porn anymore as soon as I released semen I just want to sleep I guess. For how long is he addicted to porn?
     
  8. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    That’s exactly what he thought would happen when we got married. It didn’t. When we married he had been addicted for 12 years. He’s been an addict for 40 years now. I’ve never, not once said no to sex and yet he would tell me no all the time. He’s been clean almost a year and a half. He had pied for 5 years. That’s completely gone along with the de which he had from the day he married me.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  9. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

    93
    688
    83
    Okay maybe the 40 years are the reason why he had PIED and therefore dont want to have sex anymore.
    If I have to choose porn or sex, I would always choose sex. I had never a problem with PIED but maybe to come too early when I masturbate. Lets see what the future brings.
     
  10. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    He didn’t get pied until he was 46 years old.
     
  11. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

    93
    688
    83
    Wow. I see.
     
  12. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    Yeah, like you he thought if he ever got a girlfriend/wife he would treat her like a queen and he would never need/want porn again. He thought he’d be the most incredible husband ever if he just got the chance. Instead he discovered that he couldn’t stop pmo.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  13. I have to agree. I've been single for most of my 30+ year addiction (and had more dating success in my 20's than my 30's and 40's*) yet my porn addiction progressed regardless of whether I had a partner or not . . . and they were all very fine women. :(
    The addiction only gets worse unless you stop. And, unfortunately, that means stopping all of the addictive sexual behaviours. For example, my first attempt, 9 years ago, was giving up internet porn. Magazines, DVDs, fantasy and masturbation were still okay :rolleyes:

    That kept me single for a long time.

    *note on my dating success. My dating success now is awesome! I gave up everything and now I have an amazing relationship!
     
    ronkumar and Psalm27:1my light like this.
  14. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

    123
    255
    63
    Do the urges ever go away ? I'm over a year in now. With absolutely no porn, escorts, strip clubs . 3 times I've masterbated on my own without fantasy, and sex probably about 8 times with my partner . For me , the urges I don't think will ever go away . But you just become more aware of what you need to stay away from , what triggers you, and you learn tools on how to get out of that mindset.
    It's all about finding your triggers, and staying away from them. For me , snapchat, instagram , Facebook were all triggers. So I deleted them all. Going to the beach last summer was a no go because I know where my attention would if been. I have to be very careful when I go into Netflix.
    It's all about figuring out your triggers, and staying away from them.
     
  15. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    Agreed! So much truth here. It’s not only learning your triggers, knowing your inner, outer and middle behaviors, it’s learning why you use in the first place. It’s treating this as an addiction in the same way an alcoholic treats alcohol. Too many people want to treat it as though it’s just a bad habit.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  16. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

    123
    255
    63
    Yes ! One of the first excercises I did was draw up my three circles all fancy . And laminated it. I found by writing all of it down made it more real. And that it was harder for my mind to bend the rules a little bit because at some point I wrote it down on paper.
     
  17. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

    123
    255
    63
    And also agree about why you went to porn / sex in the first place. For me , it's what I found in my childhood that made me feel safe in an alcoholic home. I never realized how much my childhood truly affected me
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  18. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,472
    2,065
    143
    My husband too. Everything went back to his childhood. Only when he got into group and therapy did he actually learn how to get into recovery and how to start healing those childhood wounds and trauma.
     
    +TenPercent and Chefb87 like this.
  19. BB85

    BB85 Fapstronaut

    9
    4
    3
    Wow. Blame the woman. That’s a uninformed, sexist and nasty comment. You won’t be better any time soon
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  20. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    Even non addict peoples has urges

    so, no

    but expect urges to be transient and go away in a few hours
    also it not come everyday
     
    Gef 71 likes this.

Share This Page