Do women like short men? (conversation from "how old and tall are you" thread)

It is bullshit dude, don't listen to it.

 

That is why guys who are sleeping around are usually using 2 condoms at once.

 

Come on, was it it that bad?

 

How is it irrelevant? Can you explain, please?

I have not had a threesome...yet, but I know people that had and they also liked it.

 

Your post is very interesting and gave me a lot to think about...

"Niceness is irrelevant because either the girl is attracted to you or not."
This is intriguing because when I look back in my past it seems that this was the case with every girl that had a crush on me...even thou I was shy and hesitant and they had very extroverted personalities they continued to be attracted to me even thou I gave them zero signals of interest, not because they were not attracted but at the time their personalities were too overwhelming for me at that time. And...indeed if I think about it they were attracted to me in the first seconds of minutes they saw me...I had not spoken to them yet they were already having crushes on me. And the thing is...I didn't do anything in particular that was attractive I was just...being there acting like myself.

One the other hand I heard tons of cases even on this forum that go along this line: "At first me and my wife/husband were not attracted to each other at all, the attraction was built over time and it is growing more and more the more time we spend together."

So I am a little confused here.

" I know there is an idea out there that girls do not care at all about looks but it is not true."
In fact I have been told that looks don't really matter on this forum by multiple girls, and I think that if I go on the women's subforum I will find this idea that looks don't matter even more.

When I hear girls say that looks don't matter in my head I am a little conflicted not because I don't want to believe it (I swear to Zeus that I would swim the Atlantic if that would make that true but my gut instinct tells me that this is not that true in fact) but it is rather that I don't actually have the blueprint of the girl that is saying that...and I never heard this in real life, this "looks don't matter" was told me only on women on Internet forums, and when I hear it it always leaves me wondering...ok there are multiple options here :
1.the girl is herself not attractive so the reason she doesn't care about looks is because she takes whatever she can take since there are not a lot of good looking guys lurking around her anyways...
2.the girl is attractive but she wants to be nice and make guys insecure about their looks feel better but in fact she wouldn't date them for example...if approached by an unattractive guy she would politely tell him she has a boyfriend even is she doesn't.
3.she is average in terms of looks and in fact didn't really think about it this much...she is not dishonest thou because not really thinking about it when she hears the question she just tells this cliche because it is the first thing that came to her mind due to the fact she heard it from others. But in fact she might never had dated unattractive guys and didn't even realise it because when an unattractive guy with hit on her she would dismiss him and blame it on other things such as his manners, confidence and so on without even being aware of that she subconsciously dismissed him because she didn't like his looks and her conscious mind rationalized it and replace it with a more socially accepted reason such as lack of confidence and manners.

This are the main 3 scenarios that play into my head...what do you think about them? Are they reasonable? Would you dismiss or add another one? Do you have any rebuttals or corrections to make?

"There are things that can make up for looks, absolutely, but for the most part we like people we are physically attracted to."
But how far can this go? How much can you compensate you for your looks? If you are a 5 for example...and do whatever it takes to be good in all the other areas of your life do you stand any chance against a guy who is 8-9 but he doesn't have all your other attributes? Or the maximum you should hope to get is a 6-7?

"This is different for every woman. So if a guy that a woman is not attracted to is uber nice to her it will not "make" her like him. This is why being nice is irrelevant."
Really? So as long as there is no attraction from the start it doesn't matter how you act?
This seems to contradict a lot of general wisdom that says that most of the time girls are not attracted to you from the start, they are more like a volume button rather than a light switch when it comes to arousal and attraction...I am not saying this is right and you are wrong but I want you to tell me your opinion on this.

"You should be nice to others simply because you are a human and so are they."
I agree.

"Niceness does not get you a girl. Just like being a dick doesn't get you a girl."
Interesting. But are you really saying that there are no means in which you can raise your sexual value in the eyes of a girl...you have absolutely no control over it no matter what you do?

"A high self esteem woman will want to be treated well and a low self esteem woman likely won't care or will tolerate jerks much more, mainly because they think "I can make him love me if only I...."
If this is true this is quite an insight...Let me explain...There are a lot of guys out there who describe their success with women and they say that the reason some girls go for the jerks and despise the nice guy is because a nice guy makes her pussy drier than the Sahara desert, in other words the need the "abuse" the douchiness, the drama and emotional spikes in order to feel attracted to him and look at him in a sexual manner. On the contrary nice guy bore the shit out of her because they don't know how to make her wet...they are just playing safe hoping that what they already are is enough.
I have heard stories when guys were acting like pimps with her and after they seduced them and had sex with them the guys started acting nice and cuddly and the girl got completely turned off, thinking "Jezz, I was thinking I was dating a boss, not this spineless pussy"
Fifty shades of grey also taught me that there are way more women who want to be submissive and be dominated by their man as I thought.

"Usually women who put up with a lot of it had dads who were jerks."
But do they really put up with it or is is just a projection on your part? Don't they like it? I agree that wanting to be treated like garbage like a lot of porstars want by the way is due to daddy's issues, but this is what they really need in order to feel comfortable because growing up with an abusive father they learned to manage his attitude so when they grow up they are subconsciously attracted to a man like their father because he seems familiar, even if they don't realize it.

"So nice guys will eventually find a woman who is naturally attracted to them and if she has high self esteem they will get along great."
Can nice guy get girls with daddy issues? See the theory above...


I know it is a lot to read and respond to but I would massively appreciate it if you respond...please do.
Thank you in advance. All the best.

@JustADude @Jae @wildwood @Blondewife Hey guys, I would appreciate your input on this exchange between me and Limeaid, if you have time and are interested please tell me your opinons on this subject.

 

"I completely understand your confusion! I think "attractiveness" can be subjective and also objective."
Logically speaking something cannot be both subjective and objective at the same time...but I understand this point...it was my mistake in fact that I used the term "attractive" in context of both good-looking and attractive. In fact I think this is the distinction we should make in order not to get confused in the future:
Good-looking: objective; a person who has certain strict characteristics that are biologically superior to other. Biologically superior means that he has better genes. So now we can objectively quantify his beauty because for example in males low-body fat, square jaw, head full of hair, symmetrical face, muscularity and so on are all indicators that the guy is healthy, has lots of testosterone which means he will make healthy and well-adapted to the environment children.
For women, symmetrical face, big boobs, nice lips, round butt and so on are indicators that she has resources to feed the child and she is ready to have a child.

Being objective no one can tell that for example Brad Pitt is not good-looking (because he matches the biologically superior characteristics ), sure there are people who don't find attractive at all but they can't claim he is ugly.

Attractive: subjective; this comes down to multiple factors such as confidence, intellect, humor, charisma, style...but all these bind together with objective good-looks the personality of the viewer and his experience and the end product of all of these factors give a person level of attractiveness. Were is the subjective in that? Everyone on this planet has a different brain and different personality and different life experiences so no one can objectively tell you who is more attractive because this comes down to personal conscious and unconscious preferences. This is why a a girl will find a guy with a dickish attitude more attractive than a nice guy because of x,y,z psychological reasons, on the opposite another girl has feels just as attracted to a nice guy because he matches her x,y,z psychological and emotional needs.

Being subjective no one can be compared with another because the results will come differently for every person.

These definitions are made up by me...don't take them too seriously, it is just the way I see things.

"However not all men will agree with who is the best looking. Therefore it can be subjective. So when a girl is attracted to you, it is not all about looks and someone who is not that attractive at first can become more attractive the more time you spend with them. This is the same for guys too right? It is not that the person was not attractive to begin with it is just that you didn't feel immediately drawn to them. I have seen ugly women with attractive guys and attractive women with ugly guys. I am sure you have seen the same thing. Attractiveness is just so hard to quantify so when anyone talks about it is subjective. Attitude also plays a major role. There is another thread about "ugliness" and I can tell you that half the people in that thread are probably not ugly."

If I replace the term attractive appropriately with the definitions given above this makes complete sense and I agree.

"I always found it odd that a guy would like me and want to date me having never spoken a word to me! This is why the saying "looks don't matter" for girls is partly true."
Didn't you mean it is not true that looks don't matter? Or I am missing something...

I either understand or agree with the rest of your comment so I won't quote any further.

I have some questions thou...I don't want you to feel pressure to answer them if you don't want.
1.How would you rate yourself in terms of beauty? From 1-10, I don't mean subjective attractiveness, rather objective good-looks. You can answer with how would others rate you if you don't think you can be objective.

2."by telling you feedback I have gotten which I am not going to do" I am really curious thou...I am sorry if I am being to pushy but I'm dying to know.

3.When us guys see a female who is a stranger to us and she is attractive to us we cannot escape the thought of having sex with her...and if she would be down with it I think most men (myself included) would do it as soon as possible. What do you think about this?
Did you ever experience something like that as a woman? Did you female friends experience something like this?

4.Don't women involve in sex acts with a strangers just because of the social stigma around women having sex too early. If there were no stigma would they be just like guys when it comes to sleeping around?

5.Do you find it creepy when young guys 18-22 are attracted to older women? 30-35?
Do you think there is something wrong with them?

Thank you so much again.

 

I am not talking about getting involved in a serious relationship with that person...it would be you know just for fun...
But this is me at the moment thou...I don't know if I will ever change and I also cannot imagine falling in love this is why probably for me it is not depressive nor empty.
In fact I would make the case that when 2 people really love each other the more sex they make at the beginning of the relationship the more they set their relationship for a disaster.