Do you reset your counter if you see an attractive female on tv or in a movie??

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    Do you reset your counter if you see an attractive female on tv or in a movie? Or to anyone who uses social media do you reset your counter if you see a picture of an attractive looking female on social media?

    So if you simply see an attractive female on a screen you will reset your counter?

    Is it a relapse to see an attractive looking female on a screen?
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2019
    Strijder likes this.
  2. Strijder

    Strijder Fapstronaut

    No friend :) but you are not allowed to search for it on purpose (that's my opinion).
     
  3. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    It's so confusion though. What if you want to look at images of a female you know on social media? What if your on a dating site? You need to look at images of women on a dating site.
     
  4. jk243

    jk243 Fapstronaut

    312
    798
    93
    No.
     
  5. jk243

    jk243 Fapstronaut

    312
    798
    93
    It can lead To relapse but it is not a relapse. Relapsing is watching P or MO to a sexy image, don't overthink or overreact.
     
    LavaMe likes this.
  6. psychedelicjelly

    psychedelicjelly Fapstronaut

    85
    77
    18
    You're over thinking it buddy.
     
    Happypetal and SaturnsSun like this.
  7. scarecrow1

    scarecrow1 Fapstronaut

    97
    81
    18
    of course not . attractive female are all around and one can not help but notice them.

    your question is rather silly imho
     
    Happypetal and psychedelicjelly like this.
  8. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

    620
    497
    63
    I wrote a post on this some time a go and counting days is ineffective, psychologically, for reasons well researched and applied in game theory.

    Consider for example that you buy a new game and begin to play, as you spend time you gain levels and your character progresses.
    After some time you reach level 10 and this in many ways motivates you and then due to unfortunate turn of events your character dies...
    It is expected that you should resume at level 10 but just like "nofap" counter this game is poorly designed and you actually start over.
    So any progress and effort you put in so far, is erased, now, your goal is to reach very high level maybe.. 500, 1000, 2000 days? But any misstep will send you tumbling down to 0, completely destroying your effort.
    How-many times do you think you will play this game?

    This approach is kind of like trying to write a very, very long book, and if as you type it you make any grammatical mistake, you have to delete your work and start the entire book over. Trust me this very long book is never going to get written.
    This approach is not rewarding any effort you have done so far, it is more of a buzz you feel by being close to loosing everything you "earned", buzz no different that one you feel in the casino, when you make a bet.
    The issue is that there is no tangible reward for not giving in, and the only thing that will keep you interested is the buzz you feel when you want to give in but resist. But it gets old very quickly, and buzz disappears and you will careless.

    Proper way to do this is to set a goal of reaching X number of days without use and then see how long it takes you.
    Every day you accomplish your goal is a success and you should keep it.
    You can then see your progress, and definitively say I am improving.
    In March I had 16 days I achieved my goal
    In June I had 18 days I achieved my goal
    In July I have 19 days I achieved my goal
    And this year so far I achieved my goal 102 days

    You now have a framework to measure yourself and this is now a reward system not a buzz system
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2019
    Boorg and need4realchg like this.
  9. heregoes

    heregoes Fapstronaut

    Thank You. This is inspiring to me, who made a conscious decision to make an "exception" because I felt like if I had to reset, I would have been discouraged and that much closer to a real relapse.

    I will print this out and stick it on my wall.
     
  10. Chappie77

    Chappie77 Fapstronaut

    74
    79
    18
    I think it's effective for motivational purposes.
    If you were to put it to me 2 weeks ago you will never masturbate again, ever.
    I would of said no way and moved on.
    But if you give me an achievable goal of abstaining for 90 days, I'd say I know it will be tough but I'll give it a try.
    It got me started.

    And through reading this forum I'm after learning so much about the damaging effects of viewing porn.
    Before I thought I just had a problem with masturbation and I just needed to change the way I did it.
    Now after reading other guys posts I can see that viewing pornography itself is psychologically damaging
     
    Buddhabro likes this.
  11. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

    620
    497
    63
    yes it is a natural attempt to motivate, it is just not effective at helping to stop.
     
  12. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    Still not got the answer as to wither it's a relapse or not look at a female on a screen? If seeing a female on a screen means relapse then I might as well get rid of my tv, laptop ext.
     
  13. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

    620
    497
    63
    You ask as if someone actually wrote the rules.
    Counting days is natural behavior people with abuse develop, they abuse something(drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex etc), then have depressive episode and promise to stop and naturally at some point come up with idea of counting days, because they struggle with thoughts about abuse all the time.
    You said to yourself that you will count days, what rules did you put down?
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  14. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    Just seeing an attractive female is not a reset. It's what you do with that image in your mind that determines that. If you use it as fodder for a fantasy or linger over the image to ogle it, then you are moving into reset territory. If you see it and move on, that is no problem.

    This battle is in our minds, and that is where we must fight and win it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    Sorry I suffer with extreme ocd, obsessions. I seem to have fallen in to an extreme obsession with this.

    It's because I want to get back on a dating site at some point to try meet a woman in real life. But if simply looking at images of women is a relapse then I obviously can't be on a dating site. But if that is true then I just feel like this is very extreme.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  16. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    Sorry I suffer with extreme ocd, obsessions. I seem to have fallen in to an extreme obsession with this.

    It's because I want to get back on a dating site at some point to try meet a woman in real life. But if simply looking at images of women is a relapse then I obviously can't be on a dating site. But if that is true then I just feel like this is very extreme.
     
  17. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    An excuse can always be made. Recovery is indeed very hard. It will be the most difficult thing some of us ever do in life. It will take everything we've got. It will cost us dearly.

    When you are willing to pay that price no matter what it is, then you will change. Until then, you are likely to continue to suffer.
     
    Buddhabro and Nekkhamma like this.
  18. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    So are you saying guys like us can never use dating sites or social media sites again?
     
  19. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    727
    449
    63
    So do you think you can look at images of women on social media or a dating site and it's not a relapse?
     
  20. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

    220
    411
    63
    No, unless you M and/or O to them
     
    psychedelicjelly likes this.

Share This Page