Does being shy make you more submissive?

[Deleted Account]

When I'm around men or just doing my own hobbies I tend to be more confident afterwards. But I tend to be very nervous and shy around women I will admit that I am a bit of an introvert so I don't really talk much or express myself but I've noticed that that I tend to be more talkative and comfortable when I am in the company of my fellow men. But around women I am the complete opposite around women. Around women I feel all my confidence vanish I can barely talk to a woman without stuttering at least five times, when women complement me I end up hiding my face so they can't see me blushing. I'm too scared to flirt with one and if a woman outside of my family were to shake my hand I'd get a boner. I feel like this is due to my sexual desires of submitting to women I've had a foot fetish ever since I was a young boy, I actually enjoy getting blue-balled and I have a desire for a woman to lock me in a chastity cage so this is my question Does being shy make you sexually submissive around women and if it does how can I change this?

 

[Atticus]

There is a mindset (when practicing Tantra) one puts themselves in when dealing with women or men, depending on what you are attracted to. When we see an image of a woman (I like women), for example, we don't think to ourselves: "Oh, she must have stinky armpits/sweaty breasts" or "her vag probably smells like recently used toilet water." Because our mind turns people or objects into "things that will feed the flame of desire," as opposed to what the person or object really is.

We forget that the opposite sex is still human. Change that by remembering the fact that women are just people, who sometimes stink, do nasty things (if you get a gf, you'll see some shit) etc.

My advice is to treat women like people. Best of luck, friend.

 

[Deleted Account]

Well, I think I can help you with your problems.
I had the same problem. I wasn't confident enough with women. but I kept spending time and talk to them and the next thing I noticed, I had soo much confidence with women.
About kink and chastity cage: Well, nothing In porn is real(believe me). by quitting porn, you can recover from some of your fetishes.
Chastity cage Is a nice tool for NoFap. I had personal experiences with it. It kept me away from touching myself. most of the people of the NoFap community accept chastity devices and so do I. I think It could help you a lot. By the way, don't put them overnight!

I hope my information was helpful for you and anyone who reads this.

 

[Ray S]

I recognize.

I do not necessarily blush, but I feel confident around fellow men like you do.
Work or my football team.

But being around (attractive) women I feel like my whole life and (human) being measured as if judgment day has come on the spot.
And I feel I have not accomplishted enough in the end and she will not find me anyway interesting and/attractive.

 

[Deleted Account]

Well, I think I can help you with your problems.
I had the same problem. I wasn't confident enough with women. but I kept spending time and talk to them and the next thing I noticed, I had soo much confidence with women.
About kink and chastity cage: Well, nothing In porn is real(believe me). by quitting porn, you can recover from some of your fetishes.
Chastity cage Is a nice tool for NoFap. I had personal experiences with it. It kept me away from touching myself. most of the people of the NoFap community accept chastity devices and so do I. I think It could help you a lot. By the way, don't put them overnight!
I hope my information was helpful for you and anyone who reads this.

That's cool! I always thought that the chastity cage was used by women a way to deny men pleasure thus furthering the teasing them. But I had no idea that they could be used to help men with NoFap so thank you for the suggestion of applying one for NoFap purposes. Is it okay if I private messaged you for more information about the chastity cage strategy? I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[modernstore99]

That's cool! I always thought that the chastity cage was used by women a way to deny men pleasure thus furthering the teasing them. But I had no idea that they could be used to help men with NoFap so thank you for the suggestion of applying one for NoFap purposes. Is it okay if I private messaged you for more information about the chastity cage strategy? I would greatly appreciate it.

@StarDust70 @Dioplleo_547 Do not use a chastity device to help you with NoFap. Their only uses are for sexual fetishes at best and sexual abuse at worst. Coming from someone who was addicted to pornography and sexual practices including chastity devices, you should absolutely not get involved with them.

EVEN IF using a chastity device helps you resist the urge to masturbate, you can still watch porn while wearing one, which is almost just as bad.

There's also a much more serious consequence to using a chastity device which plagues (and is sometimes strived for) by those who use them for sexual purposes. You will get hard eventually while wearing a chastity cage. When this happens, it is going to hurt A LOT, no matter what you do. Over your time you body will try to avoid this by just not getting erect when you get aroused, or just limiting the arousal you feel at all.

So is that problem solved? Absolutely not. NoFap is about stopping PMO for a period of time so that you can heal, better yourself, and then begin a healthy sexual lifestyle. After NoFap, you're supposed to engage in normal sexual practices with whomever you're attracted to, especially having sex. If you use a chastity cage to prevent PMO, your body will adapt and stop getting erections when you're aroused...EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING THE CAGE. When you try to have sex, it will be much harder to get erect. I have personally experienced this, and it's the fucking worst.

In fetish communities (especially the toxic ones), this is a physiological process that is encouraged and well documented. IT IS 100% TEMPORARY, but it's effects can stay for long amounts of time, especially if you sensitize other areas of your body for sexual pleasure.

I cannot stress enough that you should not lock your penis in a chastity cage while doing a reboot

 

[Deleted Account]

@StarDust70 @Dioplleo_547 Do not use a chastity device to help you with NoFap. Their only uses are for sexual fetishes at best and sexual abuse at worst. Coming from someone who was addicted to pornography and sexual practices including chastity devices, you should absolutely not get involved with them.

EVEN IF using a chastity device helps you resist the urge to masturbate, you can still watch porn while wearing one, which is almost just as bad.

There's also a much more serious consequence to using a chastity device which plagues (and is sometimes strived for) by those who use them for sexual purposes. You will get hard eventually while wearing a chastity cage. When this happens, it is going to hurt A LOT, no matter what you do. Over your time you body will try to avoid this by just not getting erect when you get aroused, or just limiting the arousal you feel at all.

So is that problem solved? Absolutely not. NoFap is about stopping PMO for a period of time so that you can heal, better yourself, and then begin a healthy sexual lifestyle. After NoFap, you're supposed to engage in normal sexual practices with whomever you're attracted to, especially having sex. If you use a chastity cage to prevent PMO, your body will adapt and stop getting erections when you're aroused...EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING THE CAGE. When you try to have sex, it will be much harder to get erect. I have personally experienced this, and it's the fucking worst.

In fetish communities (especially the toxic ones), this is a physiological process that is encouraged and well documented. IT IS 100% TEMPORARY, but it's effects can stay for long amounts of time, especially if you sensitize other areas of your body for sexual pleasure.

I cannot stress enough that you should not lock your penis in a chastity cage while doing a reboot

@StarDust70 @Dioplleo_547 Do not use a chastity device to help you with NoFap. Their only uses are for sexual fetishes at best and sexual abuse at worst. Coming from someone who was addicted to pornography and sexual practices including chastity devices, you should absolutely not get involved with them.

EVEN IF using a chastity device helps you resist the urge to masturbate, you can still watch porn while wearing one, which is almost just as bad.

There's also a much more serious consequence to using a chastity device which plagues (and is sometimes strived for) by those who use them for sexual purposes. You will get hard eventually while wearing a chastity cage. When this happens, it is going to hurt A LOT, no matter what you do. Over your time you body will try to avoid this by just not getting erect when you get aroused, or just limiting the arousal you feel at all.

So is that problem solved? Absolutely not. NoFap is about stopping PMO for a period of time so that you can heal, better yourself, and then begin a healthy sexual lifestyle. After NoFap, you're supposed to engage in normal sexual practices with whomever you're attracted to, especially having sex. If you use a chastity cage to prevent PMO, your body will adapt and stop getting erections when you're aroused...EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING THE CAGE. When you try to have sex, it will be much harder to get erect. I have personally experienced this, and it's the fucking worst.

In fetish communities (especially the toxic ones), this is a physiological process that is encouraged and well documented. IT IS 100% TEMPORARY, but it's effects can stay for long amounts of time, especially if you sensitize other areas of your body for sexual pleasure.

I cannot stress enough that you should not lock your penis in a chastity cage while doing a reboot

Thank you for correcting me, thinking about it, you're goddamn right. I hope @Dioplleo_547 read your comment.
By the way, I have a question about a healthy sexual lifestyle, a healthy sexual lifestyle mean regular sex without any sex gear?

 

[IGY]

most of the people of the NoFap community accept chastity devices and so do I.

Do we? I have never got that impression from the years I have been here and I do not recommend them for the same reasons explained here... https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...make-you-more-submissive.314642/#post-3087526

 

[modernstore99]

Do we? I have never got that impression from the years I have been here and I do not recommend them for the same reasons explained here... https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...make-you-more-submissive.314642/#post-3087526

IKR

I have used NoFap for two years and never encountered anyone who made significant healing progress by using a chastity device. Most of the time using them causes ED or PIED.

 

[modernstore99]

Thank you for correcting me, thinking about it, you're goddamn right. I hope @Dioplleo_547 read your comment.
By the way, I have a question about a healthy sexual lifestyle, a healthy sexual lifestyle mean regular sex without any sex gear?

A healthy sexual lifestyle is extremely subjective, and will vary from person to person.

Some ideals to strive for in a healthy sexual lifestyle include but are not limited to:

• connection with your partner(s)
• respect and consent
• security and fulfillment
• lack of fear, guilt, and anxiety
• lots of pleasure!

Again, this varies from person to person, so I can’t tell you exactly what it should look like for you.

HOWEVER, since most people with porn addiction and it’s symptoms have never had a healthy sexual lifestyle, once you reboot, you need to start with the basics, which is socializing/flirting with your preferred partners, then going on dates, then intimate forms of contact, then having sex. After your reboot, think of yourself as having the sexual experience of the average 14-15 year old…very little! You should be doing things with people you like that make you feel good, like dating, kissing, and eventually sex. You wouldn’t tell a 15 year old to get into extreme BDSM sex, so you shouldn't either!

Tbh I don’t really like when girls ask me to be rough, choke, or do other spicier things; I’ve been having normal PIV sex for 1.5 years and it’s still a lot for me. I may not be into that stuff at all, but I also might just have too immature of a sexuality to be doing that right now.

My point is whatever your healthy sexual lifestyle includes is totally up to you. Just make sure it includes the ideals I mentioned above, and do anything that you’re excited about, feels good, and connects you with your partner.

 

[Deleted Account]

@StarDust70 @Dioplleo_547 Do not use a chastity device to help you with NoFap. Their only uses are for sexual fetishes at best and sexual abuse at worst. Coming from someone who was addicted to pornography and sexual practices including chastity devices, you should absolutely not get involved with them.

EVEN IF using a chastity device helps you resist the urge to masturbate, you can still watch porn while wearing one, which is almost just as bad.

There's also a much more serious consequence to using a chastity device which plagues (and is sometimes strived for) by those who use them for sexual purposes. You will get hard eventually while wearing a chastity cage. When this happens, it is going to hurt A LOT, no matter what you do. Over your time you body will try to avoid this by just not getting erect when you get aroused, or just limiting the arousal you feel at all.

So is that problem solved? Absolutely not. NoFap is about stopping PMO for a period of time so that you can heal, better yourself, and then begin a healthy sexual lifestyle. After NoFap, you're supposed to engage in normal sexual practices with whomever you're attracted to, especially having sex. If you use a chastity cage to prevent PMO, your body will adapt and stop getting erections when you're aroused...EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING THE CAGE. When you try to have sex, it will be much harder to get erect. I have personally experienced this, and it's the fucking worst.

In fetish communities (especially the toxic ones), this is a physiological process that is encouraged and well documented. IT IS 100% TEMPORARY, but it's effects can stay for long amounts of time, especially if you sensitize other areas of your body for sexual pleasure.

I cannot stress enough that you should not lock your penis in a chastity cage while doing a reboot

After thinking hard about this for a good long while I realized that chastity cages and other sexual torture devices are not worth it. I think the reason I thought about getting one is because I thought it was a method to stimulate the penis but as you mentioned it does the opposite especially if you get aroused while wearing one. That being I feel as if my shyness around women still causes desires to submit to them I remember having a foot fetish since I was a young boy but I've tried to nuke it ever since I first I joined NoFap but I have had no luck in eradicating it but even so my question still remains Does being shy make you more submissive around women?

 

[Ray S]

Does being shy make you more submissive around women?

It's all linked like a circle i.m.o.
You are anxious -> insecure -> submissive towards women (i.e. approval seeking) -> shy waiting for her approval (low self esteem)

 

[Deleted Account]

It's all linked like a circle i.m.o.
You are anxious -> insecure -> submissive towards women (i.e. approval seeking) -> shy waiting for her approval (low self esteem)

I will admit reluctantly admit that I am anxious, I have SOME insecurities, I still have desires to be submissive towards women, I would disagree with approval seeking because if I were seeking approval from a woman because if that's what I really wanted to do is go to Twitch, OnlyFans, or just become a White Knight of Reddit or YouTube [for the record I have had the motivation to do none of these things nor have I actually done any of these things I am using examples]. I am trying very hard to purge my anxiety around women but so far no luck purging the insecurities or submissive desires but I would like some help with those in all honesty.

 

[radhouane]

Well, I think I can help you with your problems.
I had the same problem. I wasn't confident enough with women. but I kept spending time and talk to them and the next thing I noticed, I had soo much confidence with women.
About kink and chastity cage: Well, nothing In porn is real(believe me). by quitting porn, you can recover from some of your fetishes.
Chastity cage Is a nice tool for NoFap. I had personal experiences with it. It kept me away from touching myself. most of the people of the NoFap community accept chastity devices and so do I. I think It could help you a lot. By the way, don't put them overnight!

I hope my information was helpful for you and anyone who reads this.

chastity could make him more submissive if he give someone the key and it could grow more his fetish and become a sissy or cuckhold

 

[modernstore99]

After thinking hard about this for a good long while I realized that chastity cages and other sexual torture devices are not worth it. I think the reason I thought about getting one is because I thought it was a method to stimulate the penis but as you mentioned it does the opposite especially if you get aroused while wearing one. That being I feel as if my shyness around women still causes desires to submit to them I remember having a foot fetish since I was a young boy but I've tried to nuke it ever since I first I joined NoFap but I have had no luck in eradicating it but even so my question still remains Does being shy make you more submissive around women?

In short, no. Your supposed shyness and feelings of sexual submissiveness towards women (which may be porn-induced) are two completely unrelated psychological phenomena. There are plenty of extroverted, "alpha" males who like to get fucked in the ass by women. There are plenty of guys who have trouble socializing and making conversation who are basically professional dominant porn stars in bed with women.

There's nothing wrong with being more reserved in social circles. As long as you're making and maintaining relationships and don't make people uncomfortable, keep doing what you do.

There's also nothing wrong with submitting to women in bed. Everyone has their turn ons. Just be wary that porn and trauma can induce desires in you that may not be true to your self, and may bring you down paths of anxiety and despair.

However, these two things are not interrelated or causal. Being shy doesn't make you submissive, and being submissive doesn't make you shy. They are wholly unrelated. You aren't destined to a certain sexual or social lifestyle because of some arbitrary attributes. You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do. Do a reboot and rewire, then see how these feelings persist.

 

[radhouane]

When I'm around men or just doing my own hobbies I tend to be more confident afterwards. But I tend to be very nervous and shy around women I will admit that I am a bit of an introvert so I don't really talk much or express myself but I've noticed that that I tend to be more talkative and comfortable when I am in the company of my fellow men. But around women I am the complete opposite around women. Around women I feel all my confidence vanish I can barely talk to a woman without stuttering at least five times, when women complement me I end up hiding my face so they can't see me blushing. I'm too scared to flirt with one and if a woman outside of my family were to shake my hand I'd get a boner. I feel like this is due to my sexual desires of submitting to women I've had a foot fetish ever since I was a young boy, I actually enjoy getting blue-balled and I have a desire for a woman to lock me in a chastity cage so this is my question Does being shy make you sexually submissive around women and if it does how can I change this?

shy is a type of feeling of weakness right because you are afraid how are you going to react with her or what she is going to say about you or not so it's type of submission it's true and everyone has type of submission the question hear do you like being submissive or not ?

 

[Deleted Account]

shy is a type of feeling of weakness right because you are afraid how are you going to react with her or what she is going to say about you or not so it's type of submission it's true and everyone has type of submission the question hear do you like being submissive or not ?

If I am being honest I like to be both submissive and dominant in all honesty so in all honesty it's kind of mixed for me I would prefer to be dominant but there are some "Desires" I have that require me to submit to women.

 

[Deleted Account]

When I'm around men or just doing my own hobbies I tend to be more confident afterwards. But I tend to be very nervous and shy around women I will admit that I am a bit of an introvert so I don't really talk much or express myself but I've noticed that that I tend to be more talkative and comfortable when I am in the company of my fellow men. But around women I am the complete opposite around women. Around women I feel all my confidence vanish I can barely talk to a woman without stuttering at least five times, when women complement me I end up hiding my face so they can't see me blushing. I'm too scared to flirt with one and if a woman outside of my family were to shake my hand I'd get a boner. I feel like this is due to my sexual desires of submitting to women I've had a foot fetish ever since I was a young boy, I actually enjoy getting blue-balled and I have a desire for a woman to lock me in a chastity cage so this is my question Does being shy make you sexually submissive around women and if it does how can I change this?

By reading this i could say that you already have a submissive sexuality.

Does being shy make you sexually submissive around women and if it does how can I change this?

From here two question arises, 1. Do you want to change your fetish of being submissive ? 2. Do you want to overcome shyness and remain submissive ?

this is due to my sexual desires of submitting to women I've had a foot fetish ever since I was a young boy, I actually enjoy getting blue-balled and I have a desire for a woman to lock me in a chastity cage

This one is a submissive desire. If you love it then whats wrong ? If you dont then you have to work on yourself.
Everyone has their own kinks.
Shyness do makes you have a submissive peraonality.

 

[radhouane]

If I am being honest I like to be both submissive and dominant in all honesty so in all honesty it's kind of mixed for me I would prefer to be dominant but there are some "Desires" I have that require me to submit to women.

the most important thing is decision doesn't matter if you are submissive or dominant just know the consequence of each feeling with the person you will practise that