Does being shy make you more submissive?

There is a mindset (when practicing Tantra) one puts themselves in when dealing with women or men, depending on what you are attracted to. When we see an image of a woman (I like women), for example, we don't think to ourselves: "Oh, she must have stinky armpits/sweaty breasts" or "her vag probably smells like recently used toilet water." Because our mind turns people or objects into "things that will feed the flame of desire," as opposed to what the person or object really is.

We forget that the opposite sex is still human. Change that by remembering the fact that women are just people, who sometimes stink, do nasty things (if you get a gf, you'll see some shit) etc.

My advice is to treat women like people. Best of luck, friend.

 

I recognize.

I do not necessarily blush, but I feel confident around fellow men like you do.
Work or my football team.

But being around (attractive) women I feel like my whole life and (human) being measured as if judgment day has come on the spot.
And I feel I have not accomplishted enough in the end and she will not find me anyway interesting and/attractive.

 

@StarDust70 @Dioplleo_547 Do not use a chastity device to help you with NoFap. Their only uses are for sexual fetishes at best and sexual abuse at worst. Coming from someone who was addicted to pornography and sexual practices including chastity devices, you should absolutely not get involved with them.

EVEN IF using a chastity device helps you resist the urge to masturbate, you can still watch porn while wearing one, which is almost just as bad.

There's also a much more serious consequence to using a chastity device which plagues (and is sometimes strived for) by those who use them for sexual purposes. You will get hard eventually while wearing a chastity cage. When this happens, it is going to hurt A LOT, no matter what you do. Over your time you body will try to avoid this by just not getting erect when you get aroused, or just limiting the arousal you feel at all.

So is that problem solved? Absolutely not. NoFap is about stopping PMO for a period of time so that you can heal, better yourself, and then begin a healthy sexual lifestyle. After NoFap, you're supposed to engage in normal sexual practices with whomever you're attracted to, especially having sex. If you use a chastity cage to prevent PMO, your body will adapt and stop getting erections when you're aroused...EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING THE CAGE. When you try to have sex, it will be much harder to get erect. I have personally experienced this, and it's the fucking worst.

In fetish communities (especially the toxic ones), this is a physiological process that is encouraged and well documented. IT IS 100% TEMPORARY, but it's effects can stay for long amounts of time, especially if you sensitize other areas of your body for sexual pleasure.

I cannot stress enough that you should not lock your penis in a chastity cage while doing a reboot

 

Do we? I have never got that impression from the years I have been here and I do not recommend them for the same reasons explained here... https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...make-you-more-submissive.314642/#post-3087526

 

IKR

I have used NoFap for two years and never encountered anyone who made significant healing progress by using a chastity device. Most of the time using them causes ED or PIED.

 

A healthy sexual lifestyle is extremely subjective, and will vary from person to person.

Some ideals to strive for in a healthy sexual lifestyle include but are not limited to:

• connection with your partner(s)
• respect and consent
• security and fulfillment
• lack of fear, guilt, and anxiety
• lots of pleasure!

Again, this varies from person to person, so I can’t tell you exactly what it should look like for you.

HOWEVER, since most people with porn addiction and it’s symptoms have never had a healthy sexual lifestyle, once you reboot, you need to start with the basics, which is socializing/flirting with your preferred partners, then going on dates, then intimate forms of contact, then having sex. After your reboot, think of yourself as having the sexual experience of the average 14-15 year old…very little! You should be doing things with people you like that make you feel good, like dating, kissing, and eventually sex. You wouldn’t tell a 15 year old to get into extreme BDSM sex, so you shouldn't either!

Tbh I don’t really like when girls ask me to be rough, choke, or do other spicier things; I’ve been having normal PIV sex for 1.5 years and it’s still a lot for me. I may not be into that stuff at all, but I also might just have too immature of a sexuality to be doing that right now.

My point is whatever your healthy sexual lifestyle includes is totally up to you. Just make sure it includes the ideals I mentioned above, and do anything that you’re excited about, feels good, and connects you with your partner.

 

It's all linked like a circle i.m.o.
You are anxious -> insecure -> submissive towards women (i.e. approval seeking) -> shy waiting for her approval (low self esteem)

 

chastity could make him more submissive if he give someone the key and it could grow more his fetish and become a sissy or cuckhold

 

In short, no. Your supposed shyness and feelings of sexual submissiveness towards women (which may be porn-induced) are two completely unrelated psychological phenomena. There are plenty of extroverted, "alpha" males who like to get fucked in the ass by women. There are plenty of guys who have trouble socializing and making conversation who are basically professional dominant porn stars in bed with women.

There's nothing wrong with being more reserved in social circles. As long as you're making and maintaining relationships and don't make people uncomfortable, keep doing what you do.

There's also nothing wrong with submitting to women in bed. Everyone has their turn ons. Just be wary that porn and trauma can induce desires in you that may not be true to your self, and may bring you down paths of anxiety and despair.

However, these two things are not interrelated or causal. Being shy doesn't make you submissive, and being submissive doesn't make you shy. They are wholly unrelated. You aren't destined to a certain sexual or social lifestyle because of some arbitrary attributes. You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do. Do a reboot and rewire, then see how these feelings persist.

 

shy is a type of feeling of weakness right because you are afraid how are you going to react with her or what she is going to say about you or not so it's type of submission it's true and everyone has type of submission the question hear do you like being submissive or not ?

 

the most important thing is decision doesn't matter if you are submissive or dominant just know the consequence of each feeling with the person you will practise that