Emergency Toolbox that helped me a lot during my first 100 Days

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by fercho29, Aug 20, 2015.

  1. Thats amazing, world is small.
     
  2. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    Last few days have been tough for my reboot
    Too many urges and fantasies, too many cravings of getting back to my old life, like if it was paradise and not the hell it was
    I started re reading the notes I have in my cell to read gen these urges get strong and before I enter “zombie mode”
    I want to share some with you:

    First Thought Wrong
    Remind myself that my First Thoughts are usually wrong when I start the addicted process. Disrupting my addict's thought process might not work until I get to the Third or Fourth thought.
    Most of my thoughts are recycled from earlier thoughts and are meaningless . The more I can quiet my mind and move to a state of conscious awareness , the more those thoughts will rush away
    Maybe the thoughts will always be there but I will be the one in control of the situation, not them.
    This is not who I AM, this is the story I TOLD myself and that my addicted brain wants me to continue to believe
    I CAN TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND NOT LISTEN TO THE FIRST THOUGHT WRONG. After that I can ask myself: WHAT ELSE? And make a POSITIVE CHOICE

    Handling Fantasies

    The first issue is that fantasizing is probably the most practiced escape behavior, even more so than porn.
    One of my biggest problems has always been fantasizing. Yes, I struggled with sexual fantasizing, but even more than that was my issue of fantasizing about being someone else, somewhere else


    Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero. I think a large part of my penchant for self-development was driven by this desire, which I view as a good thing. A not-so-good thing, though, was how often I lived in my own mind. There, I could disconnect from whoever I truly was, and pretend that I was whatever kind of hero I wanted to be.

    The problem with this was that it held me back from being a true hero in my day-to-day life. The hero I was in my mind always had an epic scenario that I could shine in, or some kind of ability/power that I didn’t actually have. In these daydreams I could impress anyone, be loved by all, and conquer all enemies.
    Our thoughts dictate our emotions, and our emotions power our actions.
    Luckily, the solution to fantasizing is simple (though it does require commitment and practice to pay off). All you need to do is tune into what is real around you.


    If you notice your mind drifting off, just gently shift back and recenter on the present moment. You will need to consciously do this for a while in order for it to become second nature.

    Another aspect is guilt, which has to do with something one did to someone, or something that one failed to do and should have done.

    The question is : who you were then? No human can act beyond of his level of conscious at that time. You acted like the awareness was not there to act differently. Now the awareness is there , and the awareness is who you truly are.

    How good can I stand it?
    For one week ask yourself at least 25 times per day: "How good can I stand it"? And 25 times :" What is always true?"

    You will be ensuring that you will have a better day, you are creating more "good" in your life
    Your reward could be peace, joy and serenity

    Stop being an automaton, see who you really are and make sure you are living your life in the now rather than in reaction to your story
    My addict personality was looking for its own version of relief from Hurt, Anger, Loneliness and Tiresome ( HALT). Now it is time to move beyond that base-level thinking
    Stay strong
    Fercho
     
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  3. pmofreeliving

    pmofreeliving Fapstronaut

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    DUDE WAKE THE F* UP! stop relapsing, you wrote this!
     
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  4. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    You are absolutely right @pmofreeliving .
    I know Incan do better than relapsing after so many years of clean life
    I am back in this battle ready to fight
    Fercho
     
  5. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    You will conquer it, you've already used the word yourself...Hope! :)

    Hope is far greater than any fear x
     
  6. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    Marvelous post! I gotta say, I was on a roller coaster with this one! Confusion, followed by laughter - shock I think, and then tears! It's really strange to read the process of 'using' P. I'm an SO who has never developed an addiction, yet I can empathize with this from my own brief experience with P years ago, the feelings of numbness and shame. I was lucky to get away from it early on! Thanks for the post x
     
  7. naturehigh

    naturehigh Fapstronaut

    perfectly said, I can fully relate to all the horrendous details before and after PMO. This is a great tool belt for anyone who is struggling with PMO addiction. Please post more!!
     
    Salt & Light likes this.
  8. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    :emoji_fire::emoji_fire::emoji_fire::emoji_fire::emoji_fire::emoji_fire::emoji_muscle::emoji_muscle::emoji_muscle::emoji_muscle::emoji_muscle::emoji_clap::emoji_clap::emoji_clap::emoji_clap::emoji_clap::emoji_clap:

    Yes, when we are sad and alone and feeling unloved, we need to stay sober but naturally, we will always be connecting to something (to our addition, or people, or social media if we don't have people). We need to try to build real human connections where we give love and get love and where we are going to feel valuable :emoji_hearts::emoji_heart::emoji_hearts::emoji_heart:

    Opposite of addiction is a connection, not being sober. But staying sober in loneliness is still beneficial as it urges us to create human connections, and it gives us better willpower and feelings about ourselves and loads of more benefits :emoji_sun_with_face::emoji_sun_with_face::emoji_sun_with_face: Great post
     
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  9. naturehigh

    naturehigh Fapstronaut

    Very well said, we should definitely get out there and start building meaningful relationships with like minded people.
     
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  10. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    Thank you very much for your post @naturehigh . Absolutely, that should be our goal in life
    Stay strong
    Fercho
     
  11. ash_cloud

    ash_cloud Fapstronaut

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    Hey Fercho, sep 21 was my last reset as well :) , so I feel like I have someone to keep me going because we have the same counter..

    Nice original post by the way...It really resonated with me when you said to visualize where PMO will lead you and what it will leave you .....Prior to my last reset, I had a decent enough streak and significant positive effects to think I could not possibly go back to that life again..that I was a changed person and I was a little smug in comparing my new self with my former self....Then one time I fapped, led to a chain of events that got me back to my former self...Just 1 lapse can do it...

    This time my hope is that I can remember always where it will lead me and what it will leave me..
     
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  12. [QUOTE = "fercho29, post: 308716, member: 50656"] Por cada impulso que enfrentas, te das una opción. ¿Te das por vencido, o superas el impulso? Ninguna urgencia es incontrolable. No importa qué tan mal esté la situación en ese momento, siempre puedes tomar la decisión correcta de alejarte y mantenerte limpio. [/ QUOTE]

    Que gran post !!
    Todo es increíble, y en esto estoy totalmente de acuerdo.
    Muchas gracias por compartir este post.
    Saludos y suerte!
     
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  13. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    I am sorry for your relapse @ash_cloud , I hope you are once again in balance and ready to keep going.
    This is a daily battle and we need to be alert. I had a 3 years streak, and ruined it because I became complacent and thought that I was 100% "rehabilitated".
    Yes, that sentence is very powerful and has saved me more than once
    Keep the fight strong
    Fercho
     

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