Facebook and women

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by muted, Dec 27, 2018.

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  1. muted

    muted Fapstronaut

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    Okay, so when my libido returned I recently started sometimes looking on facebook for girls with whom I could talk and maybe there would be something more. I'm not looking for women for sex. sometimes I would like to flirt with a pretty girl, and not everyone I see in reality. is this behavior bad? is it in some way in your opinion disturbing the reboot?
     
  2. ras-tanura

    ras-tanura Fapstronaut

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    wouldn't looking on facebook for girls be the same as looking for artificial stimulation via porn? Your brain is craving dopamine of looking at a hot girl. Say you find a girl in a swimsuit and want to check the rest of her beach photos. It's really easy to slip man, i'd say you're playing with fire.
     
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  3. PMOare4SoyBoys

    PMOare4SoyBoys Fapstronaut

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    If you haven't even met them in real life then why do you even bother talking to them?

    I think personally if you're on the nofap community then you should know that it's not just about quitting porn but also bettering yourself as a man; chasing women like that and giving them that free attention isn't something that a person who value themselves and their time would do imo.
     
  4. Tankus

    Tankus Fapstronaut

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    Invite these women out?
     
    muted likes this.
  5. Colin75

    Colin75 Fapstronaut

    It would be dodgy for me personally. Maybe get yourself a girl in real life and really stick with her? Im sure you wouldn't want a girl who flirts with all your mates and plasters photos of herself all over Facebook? Hope this helps and best wishes to you! Colin.
     
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  6. muted

    muted Fapstronaut

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    Guys... I have not written anywhere that I do not want to meet them in reality. if she’s okay then of course. I am just writing to some if for some reason I could not go to them and talk.
    I do not watch pictures of hot babes but I say that I wrote to pretty girls. not every girl has a photo of the ass on the profile. and I certainly do not watch pictures of hot babes at most I will look at a normal photo of a pretty girl. There is nothing sexual about it. and I do not looking for pictures of women in bikinis ... I think that there is nothing wrong with knowing someone online.
    Besides, I do not look at pictures of these girls for dopamine hit all the time ... ;) I just see a pretty girl sometimes, so I'll write, maybe I'll meet someone nice.
    For example, my female cousin has a really pretty friend but I only saw her in the picture with my cousin. I would like to meet her, so I will write. it looks like this.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2018
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  7. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    I would reboot first, then start thinking about dating
     
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  8. Abort. This is just feeding codependent tendencies, and you are focusing on girls looks( which are so temporary).

    If you want to write to a girl that’s fine..but meaningful writing. It doesn’t matter what she looks like, looks mean so little.

    We get used to people so quickly, looks fade in our perceptions..it’s the personality and common interests that matter.

    I know.

    Shallow Hal, an extreme example was correct.

    And go out and meet real people.

    Stay strong bro.
     
    muted likes this.
  9. Ha! Just caught your sign on name ha, soyboys..that’s funny. Good one.
     
    PMOare4SoyBoys likes this.
  10. muted

    muted Fapstronaut

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    I am not shallow, recently the soul of a woman it’s a value for me more than ever before. Nevertheless, I have a weakness for beautiful women. But I would never be with an empty girl. Despite the fact that we have a rehab and want to get out of porn addiction, appearance and sexuality is still an important issue, especially for us men. It's normal to want to have a pretty woman. With all due respect to you, guys, but I think you are exaggerating.
     
  11. Upfromtheashes

    Upfromtheashes Fapstronaut

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    Social media is a top trigger for relapse. Most women you will meet on the internet aren't who they say they are & a lot of times it isn't even their picture?
    I agree with others, get through your reboot & shy away from pretty girls on line.
     
  12. muted

    muted Fapstronaut

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    what you say does not happen that often. besides, what does it matter for a reboot if you accidentally hit a fake account?when it comes to me, I'm not going back to porn. no way, and stupid facebook is not and will not cause me a relapse. I suffered too much emotionally through porn and I lost too much. I don’t feel any porn drive now. I hoped that I would get something more objective. for now I have the feeling that you are afraid of facebook and stupid online accounts.and it's okay if it's bad for you because it can cause you to come back to pornography. but I was just asking if searching for girls on facebook and writing in the chat is in itself something bad.I asked if it could be bad for a reboot in some way. After all, this is nothing sexual. instead of answering this question, I got the posts about it is bad because I'm supposedly look at women in bikini, that this is bad because I pay attention to the look and you want to learn that it does not matter the most (Jesus, guys, I also and always paid attention to character). So what, if you talk to a girl in reality it is also bad, because you talk to a pretty girl? I have no problem with talking in reality with women I don’t know.
    thank you for wanting help, but I would like something more objective. a simple question - whether looking girls on facebook and writing to them is a behavior similar to looking for porn? I think it’s not if you don’t looking for pictures of women in bikinis ( ;) ...). But i ask cause i prefer to be careful. I would like to talk to a pretty girl lately, I do not know if my brain wants dopamine or I just want someone to have a longer relationship. I thought about the relationship recently and I think about it when I see pretty and smart girl...
    And I really like when women pay attention to me in reality. I have often noticed this lately.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2018
  13. ok I got it..you are looking for the dopamine hit, you are right.

    You are trading dopamine porn for dopamine girls in FB..

    This can lead you back to porn. Most of us on here know that..it’s so easy to do.

    If you want to talk to girls..they have to be real world girls.
     
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  14. muted

    muted Fapstronaut

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    Why should it be a conversation with a woman in reality? if I meet a woman on the internet because I will not be able to get to know her in reality, but then I will meet her, will it be wrong? I don’t think so. the same if I meet a girl in reality and I want to chat with her, i think.
     
  15. Upfromtheashes

    Upfromtheashes Fapstronaut

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    What if one of these pretty girls, you've never met, asked if she can send you revealing pictures of herself? Will you be strong enough to resist?
     
  16. muted

    muted Fapstronaut

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    I'm sure I would resist. Really, porn had too bad impact on my functioning. I don’t want to come back to it.
    But a thought occurred to me:
    if I'm almost healthy (potentially) and I will meet with a girl who will offer sex during the meeting, what then? Apparently, sex doesn’t have to be anything bad during the reboot. I don’t want to enter into the matter of the fact that someone would prefer to have sex only with their own woman because he thinks only it is healthy. I don’t think so. Sex is sex. The rest is a matter of approach. Important not to overdo it. If you spontaneously have sex, for example with a female friend, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with it (when it comes to rehab). What do you think?
    I know that we have a difficult to pass addiction, but we would like to learn to live normally. I think that if you are in a relationship and you can have sex, because it creates healthier behaviors, then just as if someone was having spontaneous sex with a friend, it would also happen not wrong. It's important not to look for women for sex every now and then.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2018

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