I‘ve been on NF now for almost 2 months. It was here on NF I came across that issue of not knowing wether one is bi, gay or straight (due to porn).
I read quite a few threads and posts of guys scared to hell and shitting their pants cuz they are so confused they might be gay or bi, mixed up cuz of all that porn on sites and in their heads. They mostly leave me all a bit puzzled. In nearly all attempts to get clarity I also read a lot of fear, anger, disgust one might be gay (or bi).
Obviously porn is sexual, physical attraction can lead to sex, the talk around the issue in these threads usually stays within the realm of sexual activities. It‘s all about sex, behavior and the question: Am I gay, bi or not.
Maybe I can help you relax a little. I watched straight porn a lot but I know I am not (sexually) straight. Here I list a few things that do NOT make you gay (or bi)
The really important question we all need to ask ourselves would go sth like: How can I free myself from ALL addictive, compulsive behavior?
Look ... to be a gay man it takes a few more things: First of all it takes balls, then it means to LOVE another man, the desire may be to live with another man, these days even marrying another man, if one wants that. Not all do.
Gay men cook, work in all sorts of jobs, walk, talk, shower, help, take care of others, sleep, eat, swim, dance, make music, nurse a sick parent, these days are parents themselves, design, make clothes
, drive, cry, laugh ... to name just a few things. One lives life as a gay (or bi) man. One is gay 24 hours. You feel it, you know it on another level, it is self-evident. It is a healthy state of being.
One more thing: To be gay (or bi) does not mean your days have ended unless you still think of it as sth ... bad, inferior, sick, perverted, silly, ridiculous ... you know best what you think of it. Which brings me to another issue.
And as we‘re here to heal and be frank about stuff I am sure you get that right.
Instead of wondering and trembling if one is gay or bi or straight why not ask yourself:
This relevant question could help one to come to terms with the question: gay, bi or not. Does it matter? If yes: Why?
Let‘s go inside and have a look. You know best what‘s in there. I say this not to blame anyone. There is sadly enough a lot of homophobia within the gay community itself. I say this because we‘re all here to heal.
I say this because we can help heal as a whole society, heal collectively.
Feel free to shout, kick, smile. Important is only we all heal. And support the site financially! They need our help.
I read quite a few threads and posts of guys scared to hell and shitting their pants cuz they are so confused they might be gay or bi, mixed up cuz of all that porn on sites and in their heads. They mostly leave me all a bit puzzled. In nearly all attempts to get clarity I also read a lot of fear, anger, disgust one might be gay (or bi).
Obviously porn is sexual, physical attraction can lead to sex, the talk around the issue in these threads usually stays within the realm of sexual activities. It‘s all about sex, behavior and the question: Am I gay, bi or not.
Maybe I can help you relax a little. I watched straight porn a lot but I know I am not (sexually) straight. Here I list a few things that do NOT make you gay (or bi)
- crossdressing
- sexting with men
- sexcam
- cuckoldry
- transwoman stuff
- sissi (hypno) porn
- sissification
- hocd
- wishing to be the woman
- taking the woman‘s part
- struggling with SSA
- being obsessed with other dongs
- fantasizing about having sex with men
- troll around with gay/bi men on NF
- needing intoxication to play gay
- watching gay porn
- watching fetish porn
- watching any porn
- addicted to porn
- addicted to get a kick
- addicted
- compulsively thinking about being gay, bi or not.
- what else? Let me know.
To be gay is not a choice nor a decision and certainly
it is no Porn Induced Disorder
Look ... to be a gay man it takes a few more things: First of all it takes balls, then it means to LOVE another man, the desire may be to live with another man, these days even marrying another man, if one wants that. Not all do.
Gay men cook, work in all sorts of jobs, walk, talk, shower, help, take care of others, sleep, eat, swim, dance, make music, nurse a sick parent, these days are parents themselves, design, make clothes
, drive, cry, laugh ... to name just a few things. One lives life as a gay (or bi) man. One is gay 24 hours. You feel it, you know it on another level, it is self-evident. It is a healthy state of being.One more thing: To be gay (or bi) does not mean your days have ended unless you still think of it as sth ... bad, inferior, sick, perverted, silly, ridiculous ... you know best what you think of it. Which brings me to another issue.
And as we‘re here to heal and be frank about stuff I am sure you get that right.
Instead of wondering and trembling if one is gay or bi or straight why not ask yourself:
Might it be that I am still slightly homophobic?
Which is not „a bad thing“, it‘s a fact. Cuz we all live in a society where from generation to generation, from church to church, the strong belief has been passed on that being gay (or bi) is wrong, very wrong. To say the least.
This relevant question could help one to come to terms with the question: gay, bi or not. Does it matter? If yes: Why?
Let‘s go inside and have a look. You know best what‘s in there. I say this not to blame anyone. There is sadly enough a lot of homophobia within the gay community itself. I say this because we‘re all here to heal.
I say this because we can help heal as a whole society, heal collectively.
Feel free to shout, kick, smile. Important is only we all heal. And support the site financially! They need our help.
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