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Got addicted again.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by convinced, Jul 16, 2021.

  1. convinced

    convinced New Fapstronaut

    Hi, I am a 16 y/o male trying to quit porn just like others in this platform. But I think I am not so much an addict.

    When I was 13 as far as I can remember, I came across with porn just by curiosity. But I got super addicted. I spent hours just by scrolling porn images. It made me hard but till then I was not familiar with the term masturbation. The first time I masturbated when I was about 14 and I can remember I used to do it almost 3 to 4 times a day. Then pimples started to appear and I got told by some of my friends that masturbation was the reason. Though there is no scientific evidence, I can still feel it is indeed the reason. I don't know why this ain't proven.

    Anyways, since then I slowed a bit. I used to do it once in 2 days from then and pimples kept growing and growing. And I have a thing called sex headache. I used to have a strong headache almost every day after ejaculation. But my libido was soo soo high that I couldn't resist myself by any means. But there had been a change when I realized that it was too much and I need to stop right away. I came to realize that abstaining from masturbation does really make my face glow. And I obviously didn't want to be a ugly guy for the rest of my life. It was when I was almost 16 and it really worked well. From then I started to keep a break of almost a week between each masturbation. A few months back from now, I decided that I will never ever do masturbation again and won't watch porn as well. And I am proud to say that I successfully stayed away for 2 months straight. The feeling was amazing! My brain got damn faster than before and I became beautiful again just like when I was a child. Compliments kept coming and honestly, I liked it. I thought finally I have broken my addiction and still I think I have.

    Then I decided to give myself a reward for my achievement and that is to masturbate once again and just for once. I watched porn again for almost 2 hours straight and jerked off a few moments later. It felt incredible to be back! I couldn't resist myself and I did it 3 times that day. And also I masturbated 3 times the next day each including porn.

    I got addicted again! And this seems to be more powerful than before. Pimples appearing to my face again. And I don't want it honestly but I can't resist. And shame to say I have a really small penis about 5.1 inches long and 4.5 inches girthed when erect. I am accusing masturbation for this as well. I don't think I have a good sex life ahead and I am damn depressed about it. All I need now is someone to understand me and my urge to be a better myself. I need help. I never watch porn which include male actors because they look so dirty and of course they remind me of my inability. I am totally new here and don't know what to do. That's why I am creating this thread. Hope to get some good advices.
    BlueBallsOG and Abel100% like this.
  2. BlueBallsOG

    BlueBallsOG Fapstronaut

    Great job you discovered NoFap at 16, way earlier than most here, you still have a lot of time to set things right congratulations. Firstly your penis size has nothing to do with PMO addiction at all. Science says pimples don't either, but I too have noticed them become less apparent when on NoFap. Also read around some threads here, you'll see the problems porn can cause and how better to avoid it. What you described about gaoing back and doing PMO again after 2 months clean is called the Jojo effect, it's common for addicts to fall back into their addiction hard after some time whiteout it.
    Abel100% likes this.
  3. Zapp Brannigan

    Zapp Brannigan Fapstronaut

    Don’t be so hard on yourself dude. Indulging after a period of abstinence is a time honoured tradition of any addiction I’m sure. Put it to one side and start again. You may replapse again in the future. No matter; keep going. You taking action to solve something your dissatisfied with. That’s awesome. We’ll done.

    As for your inches, be sure that most men wish they were packing more. Don’t be comparing yourself to others, there is nothing but dissatisfaction down that road, no matter the comparison in question. You are what you are. Love it.
  4. newlife91

    newlife91 Fapstronaut

    As long as you keep trying, you'll get better and better. By the time you are in your early twenties you'll be mentally more healthy and stronger than most men. You may fail, and if you do, the most critical area of improvement is getting right back up and keep going.

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