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Got ghosted

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by StayClean&Proactive, Jan 29, 2024.

  1. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Then you need to fix this belief.
    God isn't doing anything for you to connect or not connect with women.
    Dating apps like hinge turn dating into a commodity to be traded based on ability to meet certain characteristics. The real world doesn't operate this way. It is more complex and open than we can imagine. The dating apps are mostly made for disappointment.
     
  2. smh_fam

    smh_fam Fapstronaut

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    This is perfectly normal. We come into this world hardwired to search out some sort of overall meaning to our lives and determine causation between events. Sometimes there is none, sometimes stuff just happens.

    We all have some sort of storyline running in our heads telling us that x happened because of y, yet we don't really know enough to make that determination.

    Is there a God? And if there is, is he punishing you or is he trying to teach you something? Maybe he wants you to become a monk or something. Who knows man. You can create whatever story you want.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  3. smh_fam

    smh_fam Fapstronaut

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    I noticed that after Tinder came out, all of the various dating sites and apps changed their interface to match Tinder. All of them adopted the swipe system. All of them just show you a picture of the person, their age, general location and a half sentence bio in tiny print at the very bottom of the app. You can click a very tiny obscure button at one of the corners of the app to learn more about the person / view more pictures, but you are clearly encouraged to make a snap decision based on one picture. After all, there are so many to go through.

    All online dating sites and apps have modeled themselves after an app that was specifically designed for quick hookups and casual sex. All of them train their users to view other people as disposable and replaceable.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  4. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I pay attention to patterns. Typically if something occurs in patterns it happens for a reason. The sun doesn’t set and rise each day for no reason, people have recognized that there is something causing that to happen, that’s why scientists have discovered the Astro physics behind the earth rotating/revolving around the sun. Same thing applies for most of the bad things that happen to me occurring in oddly specific patterns or having reoccurring themes.
     
  5. Mob Barley

    Mob Barley Fapstronaut

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    You dont need to be anything incredible but you do need to be able to communicate well, have some patience, and have some type of sense of humor. Luck also ties all this together. Sometimes you let opportunities slip thru your hands, so when you see another one make sure you take the chance.
     
  6. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I FaceTimed the girl I was talking to. Everything went better than expected and we FaceTimed for two hours, but the manosphere is making me believe that I’m still not good enough. I’ve heard too many manosphere blackpill/red pill horror stories of women hating nice guys, flaking on guys while secretly messaging “chad” and “Tyrone”. As well as geeky/nerdy guys being not masculine enough for most women, especially black women.

    I’m hoping this girl is not secretly messaging some very handsome street dude with a bunch of tattoos and long dreadlocks while she’s stringing me along in order to spare my feelings.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  7. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    Maybe leverage the feedback of other members to change your thought process. Also, sometimes God says NO...and it's always for a good reason. You may perceive it as punishment when in reality it's not.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  8. Mr. Unhappy

    Mr. Unhappy Fapstronaut

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    It doesn't sound at all like he's dating multiple woman at all. Het just says 10 matches and he didn't explain he was talking to most of them. Not sure why you're comment is putting him down a brother just got ghosted. We've all been there especially.
     
  9. Mr. Unhappy

    Mr. Unhappy Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't get soo worked up over being ghosted, these Woman are just useless to what I realized. If she had a heart she would better explain her self to you in what she wants. I had this happen before on Tinder..

    I met a really cute girl and we shared thoughts and wished each other good days. She said I sounded like a poet to her. I felt this was an actual real connection. I asked her out to get to know each at a coffee shop downtown. She bailed.. Said something came up, then eventually she ghosted me.

    I think we just have to wait until the Woman just start messaging us then we make the first move. It seems like they are afraid for whatever reason or just talk to another guy they meet in real life they don't tell us about. Online dating really sucks until you find the one girl that doesn't give up on you. Unless you have the body of a jock and are out going it seems like girls are just focused on that and having life together. I would focus on School and what you need to do for your self. Like most of my friends have said it'll happen when you least expect it. Its true for some reason..
     
  10. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Why not become a chad yourself? Do you workout?
     
    KevinesKay likes this.
  11. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I have but I had to stop due to lack of time. I work five days a week. I will go back soon. I’m aiming for 3 times a week now as my school has a gym. I am still working on improving my appearance. I’m trying to grow dreadlocks, been growing my hair out for five months. I am a relatively decent looking guy. I’m not a “chad/tyrone” but I’ve been told I’m slightly above average looking. About a 5.5-6 in looks…..

    I still think the manosphere stuff is blown out of proportion because I see so many regular looking even ugly guys with girlfriends who accept them for who they are. What I see in real life is almost nothing like it is in the manosphere. The only guys I know of that are straight up incels are autistic nerdy guys who are very socially inept and those guys are rare. They say that the rate of lonely men is increasing but I know far more guys who have had relationship experience than those who don’t.




    I still am focusing on school. To be honest it’s a combination of both, I’ve noticed that I don’t get most things in life unless I go out of my way to get them. When I kickstarted my career as a comedian I didn’t “wait for the right opportunity” I had to get off my ass and go after it. Same applies for women, I’m tired of everyone claiming that “the right person will come when you least expect it”, that doesn’t always happen, sometimes you have to go out of your way to get what you want, even if it has to do with women. There was a guy who I used to be friends with who didn’t get his first relationship until he finally did something about it which was hop on a dating app and went through hundreds of rejections in order to finally find that one person who gave him a chance. I’m even friends with another guy who found his so on dating apps and they’re still together.

    Also stop assuming that I’m not focusing on myself either, these past few months I have been focusing on bettering myself by going to school and busting my ass by studying hard as well as focusing on my screeenwriting (as I’d like to write for TV one day) and I’ve been making new friends and connections through my career as a comedian.

    I wish people would stop telling guys “the right person will come along when you least expect it” because most guys would end up alone for life if they followed that advice. Sometimes God won’t let you have something unless you’re willing to fight for it.


    Sorry to say this but dating apps exist for a reason. I’m still hoping things go right with this girl. I don’t want to end up being 30 with no experience.
     
  12. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Sounds great bro, workout, become an animal in every task of life. Fitness, school, work, making money. You will be so content with your life that you naturally will attract the right people in your life.
     
  13. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I am still scared after watching redpill content. For those who don’t know I’m black, and the girl I’m talking to is also black, but she is a nerdy black girl who is a gamer and likes anime. She’s not a typical stereotypical black woman who speaks with Ebonics and has a bunch of tattoos.

    I’ve heard a lot of dudes on YouTube who are incels or red pillers say that black girls only like dudes that are pookies or street dudes, even if they’re nerdy. I’m scared she’s talking to a street dude right now. Someone help. I’m scared she thinks I’m not masculine enough because I have Asperger’s and I’m not a street dude. Oh man, and then a lot of red pillers are gonna start telling me “I told you so”.

    I even had a few nerdy black girls in high school that I had crushes on and they rejected me and ended up with jocks/NPC black dudes that do nothing but listen to Travis Scott and play and watch sports.

    Depsite this, I know of several nerdy black dudes who have no problem getting women. There was a Muslim couple at my old job where the guy wasn’t very attractive (overweight/bad teeth) and his wife was a black girl who was actually cute. Both a younger couple. I also have a friend who’s an alternative black guy and he told me that he had sex with a black girl he met on tinder who happened to be Muslim.


    The blackpiller I used to talk to was a black man and he was dead set on his belief of black women (including nerdy ones) only wanting street dudes, and has made hundreds and hundreds of videos about how it’s over for geeky black dudes. I’m somewhat nerdy but not extremely nerdy. I’m not as nerdy as most nerdy dudes as most of those guys have zero contact with girls, I have a handful of female friends who I’ve hung out with. I also don’t live on discord and I’m not addicted to gaming.

    Because of that, whenever this girl takes too long to reply to a text, my mind immediately jumps to worst case scenario. (She’s texting pookie, she’s getting her black blown out by pookie) It doesn’t help that my dad is also redpill.

    I wish God made me a street dude instead of a black nerd with autism.

    I’ve heard incels on YouTube say that nerdy black dudes should only go after white women. Despite the fact that I’m not a stereotypical black guy, I ironically mostly get attention from black women. I’ve never had white girls like me like that, it is very rare. On dating apps especially, I’ve mostly gotten matches from black women.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2024
  14. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    If things don’t go right with this girl I’m seeing an escort. I don’t have the patience to “wait patiently for the right person” or go through 60 matches only to get ghosted by each person within a week.

    She left me on read today and I think she’s texting pookie. It’s over bro . #blackpill
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2024
  15. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Please do not act as a victim and do not embrace the dangerous pathetic victim-focused black pill mentality.

    Life is hard, love is hard. Get used to the taste of it. Talk to as many girls as possible and improve your communication skills and appearance!

    You are NOT nerdy!! It is not encrypted in your DNA! You make yourself nerdy by choice, because of your self-image. Just read through your own posts and analyze how you describe yourself.

    I was nerdy in the past, but I changed my mentality and recognized I had to suffer to improve. Now I am an animal both in terms of work ethic and physical appearance !
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2024
  16. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know if I’m too far into the talking phase to be talking to other girls.

    The girl got back to me but claims she’s terrible at responding. I don’t know if this is actually true or if I’m still being strung along.
     
  17. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    ??? I am married and almost a father and I talk to women/girls all day! I am not talking about freaking tinder. I am talking about real life! Just small talk, "how are you doing today?" "Wow it is pretty crowded in the gym" "Ah that looks heavy can I carry those groceries to your car?"

    Not even to get them into bed but just to have fun. Talking to women/girls is fun!

    It is so essential that you train your brain to talk to women in real life. Whatsapp, Tinder, whatever is all bullshit compared to the elements that come into play in real life like: stuttering, eye contact, body language, high/low pitch of the voice, charisma, smiling, manerism, touching, and so forth! You only get better by repetitions.

    Communication is like a muscle, you can train it by reps reps reps reps reps reps!

    I talk to every kind of women/girl: young, old, attractive, unattractive, I don't care, because I do not want to sleep with any of them but it is just fun and I know the improvement of my communication skills help me in other life elements like work and even with my marriage !
     
  18. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I have a lot of friends that are women. Of course I talk to women in real life.

    I was referring to dating app wise.

    I will say this, god is very cruel to me when it comes to anything that’s related to women, that’s why I have the tendency to self sabotage. Out of all the things that god is cruel to me towards, he’s typically at his worst when it comes to anything related to women.


    I don’t want to end up being an incel like 90% of black dudes with Asperger’s. I just want god to work with me and let me be happy.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2024
  19. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    This is the guy I’m talking about. His videos make me panic. I had to go to the mental hospital several times because I watched his videos.

    I also watched his videos about IQ and I was convinced that I had a low IQ due to being on the spectrum so I crashed my mom’s car and blamed it on the fact that I had a “low IQ” which is what got me kicked out of her house.

    Im not gonna lie I still think the girl I’m talking to is texting street dudes behind closed doors. So time is up for me as a nerdy black guy with autism.

    That’s why I’m worried about my fate as a geeky black dude with autism. I might as well throw in the towel now and accept the fact that it’s over because I’m black and have autism
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2024
  20. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    This videos level of bullshit is so high it is hard for me to explain.
     

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