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Got ghosted

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by StayClean&Proactive, Jan 29, 2024.

  1. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    This time around I went back on hinge after taking a break from dating apps for several months. I don’t have a problem getting matches, on average I get about 10 matches per week. Unfortunately all the interactions lead to nothing. This one girl I’ve been texting back and forth consistently for a week. Then yesterday I asked if she’s comfortable face timing me and she said she definitely would be. I told her that I think too soon and that we should wait another week. She then said “yeah that’s cool” we then spoke about our favorite songs then I got ghosted. She made it an entire day without contacting me. I think it’s because she ended up finding a guy who’s better than me. I’m not sure if she was leading me on or if she found someone better. So far this is the longest I’ve gone on a dating app without being ghosted. Most people I talk to ghost me within the same day. Any advice?

    I just came back to school but didn’t join any clubs yet so online dating is unfortunately all I have now. I’m swamped with schoolwork so I don’t have time to socialize in person.

    I don’t feel humbled I feel very defeated as I liked this girl better than the other girls I matched with and I was hoping it was eventually gonna lead to something but it’s safe to say that it’s over. Bad things are always more likely to be true than good things. Part of me does think that god is punishing me because I know guys who are uglier than I am and have less money than I do that are doing far better with women than I am.

    The ghosting did cause me to have racing blackpill thoughts and lash out.


    Part of me does think that if I manned up and FaceTimed that girl yesterday she wouldn’t have ghosted me. But I remember last time I FaceTimed a girl that I met on a dating app and I fucked it up completely to the point where she sent me a text saying “Sorry it isn’t working out” the next morning. I didn’t want to FaceTime this girl too early because I wanted to make sure I was ready first, I’d rather wait and FaceTime later on than do it too soon and screw it up.

    I’m considering getting an escort too since my luck with women is just so awful.


    So many people say I’m too hard on myself and that I have so much potential but I don’t see it. If I had the potential I honestly think I would’ve been getting better results.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2024
  2. Be Inspired

    Be Inspired Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you are trying to manipulate women to get a result that you want from the interaction. She is a human just like you. She can ghost you, block you, never talk to you if she does not feel comfortable. Maybe something you said made her uncomfortable. Maybe her husband came home. Maybe she dropped the phone in the toilet. Who knows? Let it go my brother
     
  3. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    What makes you say that? Because I waited so long to FaceTime?
     
  4. HealingBodyandMind

    HealingBodyandMind Fapstronaut

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    I’m pretty sure you got ghosted this time because you didn’t FaceTime her. Sounds like she wanted to move things forward at a quicker pace than you

    There is no need to analyze the situation, you got ghosted for not FaceTiming her..

    That’s pretty good results 10 matches a week on Hinge
     
  5. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I kept asking her if I was moving too quickly and she said I wasn’t. Bad idea I guess

    Like I said, I didn’t trust myself. I thought I’d screw up the FaceTime if I did it too quickly.
     
  6. Forget about her and move on, dating apps are trash anyways, the reason so many people feel comfortable "ghosting" people on platforms like that is that they cannot see the real life impact of their actions due to it being online, this is why so many young people prefer to fight over things like texting rather than phone calls or in-person.
     
    loomingtiger likes this.
  7. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    Update: I didn’t get ghosted. She replied to my text while I was asleep. I still hope this goes smoothly.
     
  8. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Wow! You really jumped to conclusions here. Maybe next time be a bit more patient.

    Comparison is a killer. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is more to life than money.
     
  9. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    Watching years of manosphere content has made me assume the worst case scenario when it comes to women.

    There was one time where I met a girl from group therapy, she asked me out and I chickened out because I thought I wasn’t good enough.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2024
  10. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    Update: I think she may have ghosted me. She began texting me again on Tuesday only to hear nothing at all from her yesterday.

    Not sure why God keeps fucking with me like this. I would’ve rather heard a solid no from that girl in the beginning than be lead on.


    I really don’t feel like having to go through the texting phase with someone new. I also hate when people keep telling me “you have to be on your purpose” to get women. I’m an advocate for self improvement. But what the fuck makes me so special to where I need to become Superman before I get into a relationship while I know several guys who are morbidly obese, have missing teeth, or no license and are in relationships? I honestly think it boils down to luck and being at the right place at the right time.
     
    Mob Barley likes this.
  11. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Go out in the real world and learn how to approach women to start a conversation with them. It's hard as hell to do that if you have low self-esteem, but fake it until you make it. Go out there like you are the best man walking up to that woman, and soon enough you will be the best man that approached that woman. It's also a numbers game, you have to talk to a lot of women before you find one that is a match for you.
    Texting and the rest is fine, but real progress comes when you meet face-to-face. Practice talking to any woman that you see in public, it's a great way to build your self-esteem.
     
    KevinesKay likes this.
  12. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    What’s up with being afraid to FaceTime a potential dating prospect? Think about getting to the root causes of your lack of self confidence. This is not an attractive quality in a person. If you can’t FaceTime them how are you going to meet in person?

    Plus your head tripping about being ghosted. Stop overthinking everything. Again, an unattractive trait.

    Spend some figuring out your stuff and getting comfortable with yourself. See a therapist or talk to a close friend. God has nothing to do with the fact you can’t get a date. And definitely don’t see an escort.
     
    onceaking likes this.
  13. I would be deeply concerned if a woman I met online, a total stranger, got irate and angry that I didn't text her back for a couple of days. Big red-flag.
     
    GeorgeJetson likes this.
  14. smh_fam

    smh_fam Fapstronaut

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    I tried online dating briefly. A couple of girls blocked me after I went a couple of days without responding.

    Like damn, I could have just been in a car wreck or something. But online dating in general is incredibly superficial. There's typically a 4 to 1 male to female ratio or worse so the girls can afford to be extra picky.
     
    StayClean&Proactive likes this.
  15. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    The pandemic has caused me to assume the worst when even the smallest thing goes wrong.
     
  16. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I was close friends with someone who was very misogynistic and I believe God is punishing me for that. I cut that person off this past summer.
     
  17. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I had one girl block me because I went 2-3 days without contacting her.
     
  18. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been too busy to peruse women in person. I’m backed up with assignments from school as well as work.

    As for the girl I’m talking to currently, this is so far the longest amount of time I’ve been in contact with someone I’ve met through a dating app. Previous record was one week and that one girl (like I mentioned in an earlier post) blocked me because I went a couple days without contacting her. The average person sends me a text and ends up ghosting me maybe after 3-4 days after texting, sometimes even 5 if I’m lucky. I just really don’t want things to go wrong since I’ve made it so far. All I have to do is have a FaceTime session and that FaceTime session will make or break my chances with this girl.
     
  19. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    It's important to remember that the manosphere is full of opinions and opinions aren't facts.

    The pandemic may have something to do with it but assuming the worse can be quite natural.

    I don't think God is punishing you. I've been on some misogynistic sites and allowed myself to get influenced by them but I don't know if God actually exists. Many people believe in the existence of God but beief aren't facts. The question I have is: what evidence do you have that God is actually punishing you? Did God come over to your house and tell you he's punishing you or something?
     
  20. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    No but I’ve noticed that the bad things that happen to me are usually oddly specific. For example, in school ever since I began trying to peruse women, god has pulled an uno reverse card and has made it as difficult as possible to get any, he keeps programming me to make my classes mostly guys.

    He makes my job make me stay later on nights where there’s events that I could go to where’s there’s a lot of women. (I am a comedian and most of the open mics occur on work nights and I can only go if the volume is low). Unfortunately we only have low volume on nights where there’s no events.

    Ever since I hung around that guy I’ve noticed things related to sex or relationships are always in my face. A lot of the YouTubers I used to watch talk about women non stop too.
     

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