Got ghosted

I want to mentally prepare myself for when things go wrong. My current situation contradicts everything the blackpillers say. A black girl who’s accepting of the fact that I have autism and that I’m not a black stereotype. That shouldn’t happen according to blackpillers.

The guy in the video also claims you’re weak if you can’t accept the blackpill

 

Things are going well with this girl I’m talking to. Things are actually progressing much quicker than I anticipated. I’m just waiting for god to ruin it though and to take this away from me

 

Things usually go wrong when I’m optimistic. I believe I have PTSD that was induced from the pandemic. I panic to prepare myself for thing to go wrong so I won’t be hurt as much if they do go wrong

 

I’ll try my best to stay calm. I’m protecting myself from my spirit getting crushed if I get my hopes up.


It’ll hurt ten times more if I get my hopes up and things go wrong as opposed to being prepared for everything to be ruined.

I started crying because I’m mad at myself for not having as much money as I’d like to

 

If things don’t go right I’m getting an escort. I’d rather do that than end up being single when I’m 50. I swear to god

 

That black pill guy on YouTube convinced me that it’s over for me since he’s mentioned how hard black men with autism have it.

 

I still spend a lot of time comparing myself to other black men and wondering why this girl is potentially choosing me when she could’ve gotten someone more masculine, someone nuerotypcial and even better looking than me

 

These guys make me fear for my life:

 

I’m just raising an eyebrow because my current situation contradicts everything those blackpillers and red pillers say.

 

I still compare myself to other black men. Especially with how I see a lot of dudes on instagram who make gangster poses and dress with a lot of designer clothes. I keep thinking to myself; how the hell do I compete with that? especially being nerdy and having Asperger’s.