Had a huge urge earlier today. I told it "I'm more powerful than you."

Background: I am over a year PMO free.

So I had a really big urge this morning when I was laying down resting. Came on me suddenly. For some reason some VR porn I had watched returned pretty vividly, and I couldn't get it out of my mind. I tried all my usual techniques, saying things like "you are not this urge" to try to dis-identify from it, bringing my attention to my breath, even trying to reduce the allure of the video by imagining all the actress's internal organs and all the disgusting fluids and solids inside of her- a meditation technique called contemplation on repulsiveness. None of it was working.

Well, even though I really wanted to put my VR headset on and watch that video again, I said to myself "I'm over a year PMO free, I can't given in now." I hadn't done my morning routine yet- which consists of a workout, cold shower and meditation. So I decided to get up and workout. I noticed as I was doing so that I was going extra hard during the workout- maybe trying to burn off the extra energy I was feeling. After the workout I took a cold shower. During the shower the realization came over me. I have all the power. The urges only have power that I have conceded to them. If I don't give them power, they can't control my actions. So I reaffirmed my resolve to remain PMO free, then went and meditated. The urge, by that time, was completely gone.

Anyways- thank you for reading and I hope this might be useful for some of you. Remember- you have the power, not your urges. Don't give up that power. It's one of your most precious resources. You give power to what you attend to. Attention is like an adapter. What you pay attention to receives energy. What you don't pay attention loses energy. So when the urges come, unplug them. Don't pay attention to them. Shift your focus somewhere else. Without the energy of your attention, they will die.

Thanks for reading, and hope you are having a great Friday!

 

Hi IGY, thanks for posting, it's great to hear from you. Appreciate your kinds words. Also very happy to hear you are also doing well in your recovery. Over a year PMO free, woo!

 

And that moment was the beginning of your victory...you made a positive decision. Well done! You're awesome!

 

You got this PMFH ! Great job on saying no to that urge. Yes connection (and patience) is very important. If you can touch that place in yourself that wants the best for you and that knows that escaping from you problems only reinforces them, then you will be in a good poistion to recover.