"Healthy Masturbation" helps real life sex?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Zuangzi, Jun 16, 2021.

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  1. Zuangzi

    Zuangzi Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I read the book NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! by Dr. Robert Glover.

    Therein he states that people having difficulty in real sex can start feeling their masculine power and start controlling it by conducting "Healthy Masturbation".

    This type of masturbation aims the man to feel all his hormonal changes and feelings during sexual acts. He can concentrate on himself, rather then the partner. That makes his desire stronger.

    How to do that?
    No fantasizing, No imagining, no trance state, no aim to ejaculate. Just masturbating and being aware of how it feels.

    What do you think of this strategy?
    Should I feel guilt by doing this kind of masturbation? Or is it "safe" from negative outcomes? Can you help me out?
     
  2. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I honestly cant tell you if there is such a thing as "healthy masturbation" because there is too much conflicting evidence and each person is different. However, as porn/masturbation addicts (which I have to assume you are to an extent) the action is tainted to the point I dont think it's a good idea. Imagine an alcoholic; maybe one drink wont cause them to relapse into old behaviours, but it isnt worth the risk. The same is true for people addicted to PMO.
     
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  3. sancus

    sancus Fapstronaut

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    i think this would be fine if it actually existed. unfortunately at this point in our society, for most people, M cannot exist in a vacuum; separating it from P or some version of P is basically impossible. i normally hate slippery slope arguments, but i think this is a case in which that applies.
     
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  4. AsangDam

    AsangDam New Fapstronaut

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    Hi. Thanks for bring this up.
    I had watched some Nofap videos on Youtube and read Dr. Glover’s too. I started with what they (the youtubers & Dr. Glover) had said about healthy masturbation. I had tried some masturbation without p at different month. And as long as I remember, I didn’t have any guilty or regret. In some trials, I felt flat after orgasm, and I remember there were only two trials I felt amazing and relieving after orgasm. And the rest of the trials were bingeing on porn because of stress and anxiety from work.
     
  5. Diamond45

    Diamond45 New Fapstronaut

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    Straight up lies, M without P and fantasizing is still harmful, speaking from experience, Im only addicted to pure M, and I always felt like shit after doing it. Dont let your brain fool you into thinking that M is good in any way. The problem is that when youre addicted, you try to find reasons why you should do it instead of accepting the fact that M is never gonna be beneficial.
     
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  6. I mean sure it can, but just practicing actual sex with a partner would be much more beneficial.
     
  7. BoraxKarloff

    BoraxKarloff Fapstronaut

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    I am hesitant to offer opinions on a book I have not read. That said-

    It is indeed a pleasurable, relaxing thing to lie in bed and touch yourself this way and that way, being in touch with your breathing, the atmosphere in the room, relaxing, forgetting your worries and blissing out on this part of your body.

    But we are men and this is a penis!

    It's like having a Dodge Charger HEMI and gunning the engine. Wow, it's loud, it's powerful, it's explosive, it's got over 700 horsepower.

    But after a little revving, hell, you want to take off, see what it can do, push it.

    Eventually, whilst stroking your dick, you're gonna want to grip it and make it come.

    The only way you can decide if this sort of masturbation is beneficial to your sex life is to do it awhile, then come back and tell us how it went. Also, sex with a partner changes over a lifetime, yes? Different in your teens, 20s, 30s and beyond. So we don't know, long term.

    In the end, this doctor has an opinion. In his book, does he graphically describe his own journey?
     
  8. BoraxKarloff

    BoraxKarloff Fapstronaut

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    I like this.

    I love to come, of course. But my whole life, I have loved pleasuring women, giving them orgasms, concentrating on them first, then climbing aboard and getting my cookies. I've taken a lot of tantra and sexuality courses and have been with dozens of partners in my life, mostly in my late 20s.

    I think this is one reason why I have never been dumped, not once. It's always me that leaves, my whole life. I heard somewhere early on, "Learn to eat pussy well and you will never be alone."

    Make sure she's happy, then you'll both be happy, seems to me. But that's just one opinion.
     
  9. There is no such thing as healthy masturbation. Masturbation is gained as an experience through porn and sexual events. Some men get involved in masturbation even though they're married and call it healthy, while it is an addiction. Wet dreams is a natural response. Stress, depression and anxiety can cause any individual to masturbate for the temporary relieve and usually people don't notice from where or what causes their emotional disturbance. If you passed first month, then second month of nofap you'll find out that you'll have more focus than before because your mind is clearing!
     
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  10. Zuangzi

    Zuangzi Fapstronaut

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    thank you brother, I think you are right. We have to get used to a life without masturbation. I am abstaining from it for 21 days now, I don't plan on stopping my streak.
     
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  11. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Its an interesting idea, kind of reminds me how i used to masturbate when i was young and hadnt discovered P yet. Or even particularly associated what i was doing with sex.

    Its hard to imagine that i could ever go back to that state. Every time i even think about touching myself my brain goes straight to P fantasy. Maybe after months or even years of NF and careful brain reset. I think for me it is better just to focus on sex with my partner.
     

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