Well, I know that this isn’t the way to introduce one self, and for that I’m sorry. Yet, if any one of you could lend a read in my current dark state of affairs, I would be incredibly thankful. I have to put this out while I’m still lucid. I'm new to this site and I’m completely lost. Before this I had tried a lot of things, and have almost a year of experience, and yet cannot go through the two weeks mark. Tried rubber bands, exercise (which I do now everyday), reading, breathing exercises, a method using a dice, imposing a routine… I know this can be done, I just don’t know how. The difficulty of my case is that nothing has value for me anymore. I’m not being overdramatic, I have gone through suicidal depression before, and survived it. Don’t be scared! It is never going to become a problem while I’m at this site since I know of all people how to deal with it. The only reason why I’m telling this is because I just don’t care. I haven’t care in years (and believe me it has nothing to do with my addiction). How can I go through a challenge that I know is necessary for me, but have no motivation to do it? How can this site help me? Any thoughts are highly appreciated. If you don’t know what to say, don’t worry, put whatever comes to mind and I promise I won’t judge. I’m unable to. Practical solutions of me being lost, or of this challenge in general, will be the most useful. This is derailing. The symptoms of the releapse are setting in. I’m planning on making a journal of my experiences to keep me focused, wherever the hell I can do that. I will post all this stuff there. Cheers.
Fuck dude. Your post brought a genuine hardness in my chest... You are not alone my dude, you. are. not. alone. Lol if I had a minion for every time I tried to kill myself I would have enough minions in my life to want to try and kill myself again. Just don't okay ? It always gets better, not matter how hard it gets. Because, you know, without feeling like it is all horrible and worthless... how would you know what is good? And true? And pure? And lovelu? And real? Trust me dude these things exist for a reason love you my g xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hey mate! Our final motto as a human being is to create a life where we spend our time doing things that we really value and enjoy. Ask yourself: What are the things that consume my time and add no value at all to me? What are the things I can take up to improve the quality of my life? What are the things that I really care about? You have to spend some time alone free from all desires and distractions. Just be alone with yourself. And be sincere and honest to yourself about all these. And don't try incorporating all of the things at once. It won't work. All of us have been through that. Just take up one habit and follow it each day despite how you feel. I started with meditation and have been doing the same for the last 4 months. That's something I am surely proud of. What's that one thing that can you change from tomorrow: reading good books? walking? exercise? yoga? writing? intermittent fasting? Just start with one thing and keep on adding layers. Once the foundation is strong, it becomes quite easy to add the layers. And sooner, you would notice that you are spending your time in meaningful stuff. Your whole purpose should be to make your life simpler and joyful rather than making it chaotic and pleasure oriented that the modern world tries to push you into. I am glad you didn't and you must be feeling that too. Getting born is easy but life ain't easy, living isn't easy. Don't try to respond to external obstacles, challenges and chaos. Rather, focus on inner management and acceptance. See, you know what to do. Do it. Do tag me if you start a one. I would love giving it a read. Since you are 23, go to 20-24 age section in Reboot logs and spill your feelings and story through the words. Journal is certainly an amazing way to stay accountable and get connected to amazing people on this site. I wish you all the best brother. Fight for this beautiful life. Reach me out if you need any help
Thank you for the insight, I will try to add one thing at a time from now on. I have also started the log and tagged you (I hope I did that correctly) Really, thank you.
It is really weird for me to come across such suportive message. I don't think I will ever get used to it. Just...thank you, you have brought a smile to my face. I tag you to my log if you are interested, not that I mind if you are not.
Also, I might have misinterpreted some of the things you said, now that I think about it. Would you mind taking a look to my log when you got time, and let me know if you see any problems? Regardless of that, again thank you.
Sure I would give it a look and reply back. Btw you couldn't tag me. Don't worry. ( use @typetheusername to tag. Hey @rowrow .The username would be automatically fetched by site as you type ) Would reply you sooner
By the way, I realized that I was at that moment in time unclear on what brought me here. It will come as no surprise that I'm addicted to both porn and masturbation, and I am aiming for 30 days (at least) of hard mode. I will add this information to the log too.
I think most people who struggle with an addiction have felt that despair and hopelessness. However, the very fact that you shared these thoughts/words takes and shows strength. I thank you for that.
