Hi from São Paulo!

Hello everyone! I'm a 40 year old heterosexual married male who's been into PMO since the dawn of time (LOL). I've always been a computer enthusiast, so I've been into online porn since the early nineties, which is a whole lot of time!
I've had calm times in my life and they've always been related to the first two years of the three pretty serious relationships I've had. Whenever I was totally passionate about someone then I would not have the urge to masturbate. When I think about those times I come to the conclusion that they were the most focused, productive, wholesome times of my life. Those were the days when I've accomplished the most.
Now... Most of the time, though, I've been masturbating like crazy, often forgetting about my social commitments, professional responsibilities and adopting some pretty fucked up risky behaviours (like having lots of sex with random people for whom in normal situations I wouldn't even feel attracted to).
Well, things started to change when, after a pretty long PMO streak (I'm talking about months), I started talking to a married woman from the internet who turned out to be a betrayed husband that managed to contact my wife and expose a lot of stuff that I've been writing. It was an awful situation and my marriage (which is a pretty perfect one, despite of my vice) was hanging by a thread. I opened up totally and an important part of the deal I've sealed with my wife was that I was going to seek help.
I started meditating and that's when my life changed. I've been following a buddhist tradition called Shambhala and have been day after day getting more conscious about my patterns. I feel I've controlled a lot of myself, but I've never been able to stop relapses. And although I've been really conscious about everything, I feel my relapses now are really violent - I have the habit of trying to set up online uncommon kinds of relationships with married people, groups and really specific fettishes. I always end up exposing myself and consequently my family.
I have finally convinced myself that I'll not overcome all this alone. I need help.
So that's my story and I'm really glad to be here.