How can I be better? - I believe I am already enough.

I think the pieces of success are within me-within us- to be successful at what we choose. Though the level of success may vary, I believe that we are enough.

In middle school, I was bullied terribly. I never felt any true affection from the opposite sex and that hurt me. I found solace in p*** and began to explore my sexual desires through that. My cousin introduced it to me and, before I knew it, I was watching it daily. This persisted through high school even after the bullying stopped. When I look back, I think p*** changed my perception of women and how I should interact with them. I know for a fact that I missed out on opportunities or ruined them because I felt that a girl should do x and that if she didn't want to, I should move on. It was p*** coupled with broken images and thoughts of how women should react/respond that I fed off of. This was foolish and my fragile ego kept me in that frame of thinking.

My goal is to break my bad p*** habit and replace it with positive activities. It's so easy to sit at home for hours on my laptop and indulge. It's much harder to work on my resume, put in a few extra hours, or exercise. Most notably, it is particularly much harder to approach the opposite sex and put myself out there. After years of bullying and rejection, I'm trying to reframe my mind and change my thinking. In order to do so, I know that p*** has got to go. I want career success, a better body, maybe a family, and, most of all, a better me.

In all honesty, I don't think p*** fits in that picture. I never feel good after I do it, only in the moment. I don't want to feel that way anymore, and I don't want these companies to keep making me feel bad while getting rich off my insecurities. P*** is unnatural and I can't have it while maintaining a healthy balance in my sexual life. I know I'm not strong enough to resist so it's either me or it. I feel better already and I hope I can keep going. I joined this community to see what others are up to and to share my experiences. It's a serious problem, and I don't think people are talking about it enough. This place is awesome because it calls it what it is and provides a path forward. I'm a believer and I want to push on!