How do I prove myself to my SO

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by ARL1989, Nov 27, 2019.

Was it difficult building trust with you SO again?

  1. Yes

  2. No

    0 vote(s)
  1. ARL1989

    ARL1989 Fapstronaut

    My partner and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now (my story is available if you wish to read it) and I am now completely open and honest about my porn addiction and the discovery or my ED (PIED).
    We are now in the early stages where he is still very hurt by the fact I have taken so long to get my addiction under control.
    This hurt is causing his mindset to be very negative and I am reminded of how much I hurt him.
    He feels lonely which in essence causes me to feel lonely.
    I want to take away the pain and hurt and I want to ask for advice from other Fapstronauts in relationships how do I build up the trust and prove that he is more than enough for me.
    I want to move forward with him by my side.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Talk to your partner EVERYDAY. My wife and I talk about recovery each night. Communication and action are the only ways to earn back trust
    ARL1989 and Psalm27:1my light like this.
  3. So I posted this on another thread recently, but the same thing applies here, so I'll basically post the same thing. and that is that this is an addiction, not simply a bad habit, which means that it is SOOO much more that a simple decision to stop doing something that was just a bad habit. We also need to remember that the pain felt by our significant others is well beyond anything we addicts will probably ever experience. Some people genuinely work for it and win back the people they hurt, and others can't because there's too much damage and pain that the SO just can't go back to the relationship. Its going to be hard to accept, but right now (at least in my opinion) the number one thing you need to focus on is your own recovery from this addiction, NOT getting your partner back. He may be done with you for good, and if he is, then he is, but your recovery MUST be more important than the relationship, at least for now, otherwise you'll go right back into it sooner or later. And recovery for me, meant that I got to a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting every week, I got a sponsor from that meeting, and I call him daily to talk about daily struggles, not just addiction related stuff, but anger, depression, stuff at work, family drama, or whatever. My sponsor helps me work the 12 steps of SA, which is the biggest tool that helps me stay sexually sober so my wife can rest assured that I'm in recovery. There will be relapses, but the focus for us SA members is progressive victory over lust.

    Reach out to any of us on here as we are always willing to help with advice in any way we possibly can!

    I wish you the very best of luck!
    ARL1989 likes this.

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