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How long do you guys think I will recover?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by bobbiebob, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. bobbiebob

    bobbiebob Fapstronaut

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    So I reached 3 month sterak already, but I'm still having some fladhbacks of my old self. Let me explain:

    So, I discovered how to mo (to be exact, feel pleasure sexually) from when I'm about 5 yo-ish. And from that point, I'l kept doing that thing on and on and I was like "damn what did I find lmao must keep this secret from anybody". As I get older, I jumped into sexy videos on youtube, and around seventh grade, thats the moment where I started watching porn. That time, I was not really addicted, had good social life, etc. Butnat eighth grade, I switched to another city for a better education. And at that city, its where I was really addicted. I discovered something called "hentai" and it was the one that damaged me severely in only a short time. At when I'm about to go ninth grader, theres like a 1 month holiday, and that 1 month, I kept watching hentai 1-3 times per day straight for one month. And when the school hits in, I felt really different. I feel like I'm some kind of robot, and I think I lost my common sense at that point too. Even its gotten to the point where I was struggling ONLY to choose what path should I walk, resulting me to bump to things and people easily. Yeah, it was that worse, but theres one thing that I'm still questioning in my brain. Im not sure if thua true, but watching H makes you smarter (or either I was actually really delusional at that time(?)), but only in grades. But you will be really stupid in real life. That h thing makes me really SEVEE anxiety(?), I really had a hard time choosing words to respond to people, and my body often shake while I stumble open peo0ls, etc. And because of that, I made "studying" as my espacism. And I discovered "anime" too, so there goes my really bad habit of escapism. So the days go on and on, and I'm supposing that this "anime" really fucks up my brain. It erases the thought of real life on my brain, and so on. To you weeaboos, I'm not saying that anime is bad, its just about HOW you use it. Mine was really bad tho, so yeah thats my fault. So yeah, after making "study" as escapism, and combined with anime, my brain doesnt think like a proper human anymore. Its like my brain is a "robot", I don't really know how to say it, but doing mathematics was really easy for me (once more, this is what I was feeling). So yeah, I kept falling to H on and on, and like 3 month before national exam, I started to reduce my H consumption because I was literally going to far (from 5/week to 1 /week). And when I'm 1 month away from exam, I was like "hey lets try switching back to porn, I think It'll feel better lmao" and yeah, I switched back to porn for some weeks, and I felt huge different. I can't explain the difference but I really feel it. It feels like I was a different peraon from when I'm addicted to H. So from that point I started watching P to get H out of my head, and when national exam hits, I got the highest score in my shool (Im sorry if I sound cocky or anything, but theres only around 40 students in my school and only some of them are actually smart, yes, my school was actually kinda "not popular"). And when the graduation break starts, fasting month comes (I'm a muslim, so yeah I had to fast too), I started to think "hey lets not masturbate for straight one month for this" and I ACTUALLY succeed until now. Its been 3 month-ish from my last pmo, and I often get flashbacks of my old kinky weeaboo self. So theres the end of this thread, I just want to say sorry if my language is hard to undersyand, I've been getting flashbacks from old me after hanging out with my old friend from that school I was addiced at H and yeah, so

    How long do you think I will fully recover and not getting flashbacks again? (I quit anime the same day where I started my streak) It's been 3 month and I felt really different, had my common sense back, and I can talk to girls without any struggle anymore, and I still have a little bit of social anxiety, but not severe tho.

    Also if you have some question just tell me, because I just feel like I didn't explain my story properly.
     
    SanctionedUser001 likes this.

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