How to BEAT LAZINESS and do things that feels BETTER THAN PORN !

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Oct 17, 2015.

  1. We all look around us with envy.

    I look at a colleague and I think "man, I would love to have that self-assurance".
    I look at an artist's drawing and I think "I'll never be that good."
    I look at YouTubers and I think "that looks cool, I wonder how different my live would be if I was doing that..."

    You have your own envies, your own dreams, your own expectations out of life.

    We admire others and wonder, knowing that we can never be "as good as them". And at the same time, we are lost within ourselves, asking ourselves "who do I want to be ?".

    No wonder the too occur at the same time : they're the same thought !

    What you admire in other people is who you want to be. Plain and simple.

    "Yeah, well, OK. I think I could do it, but it feels so exhausting. "


    It's not exhausting to change, it's liberating ! life is change, life without change is death, and even death isn't fixed in time : our molecule dissolve and become dirt, and the cycle of life continues. Nothing is fixed, but our brain like fixed things : they are easy to deal with. If change feels exhausting, it's because it is exhausting to your brain : it doesn't want to change !
    The proof is right before our eyes : If you don't want to change, even before you've started anything, that's not the change that's blocking you, it's the idea of change, and ideas are in our brain, not in the action of change, not in living the change (which feels great, I can tell you that).

    Our brains are lazy fuckers. We are not. And more so : we are not our brain !!!
    That's very important. The conscious life with the brain, inside it, but they are two separates things.

    We can change our own brain, but that's hard, because it feels like the brain trying to fix itself, while being at the same time the cure and the disease.
    So yeah, it sounds exhausting, but it is not.

    When you start doing, the lazy part of the brain immediately shuts the hell up, and that, that feels good ! :)

    How then do we defeat laziness ?

    By organizing every aspect of our life. Even laziness itself !

    Laziness is great, when managed !

    We have to manage ourself ! I've made a weekly calendar that I print every week, and I check a line when the task is done. Everything is written. It took a while, but man is it worth it !
    I wake up and I don't have to sort my priorities or my urges, I just read the damn paper, and follow the tasks.

    In order for it to work, it has to include everything : your job, your time with the kids and wife/husband (it's OK if you don't have all of that ;)), your sleeping time, the choirs, your hobbies, your meals, everything !
    It's not written in stone, I actualize mine from time to time, as it has to be helpful, not stressful. But it helps A LOT ! Even if I do only 3/4 of what I've written, it's still a lot more than before.

    Before that, I didn't draw or improve my arts, I didn't play the guitar, I only fantasized about it !
    I didn't have nice weekends with my wife, as I was stressed of not doing all of this, and I ended up locked up in my head all Sunday !
    Now, I hike with her, we play boardgames, I even have time to keep in touch with my friends and relatives ! I have a 35hrs job and I've found the time to do 12hrs of drawing and 2,5hrs of practicing the guitar. :)

    Say you enjoy writing.

    Well, if you enjoy writing : enjoy writing ! Enjoy the writing part of writing !
    I say go back to the original feeling : what started the enjoyment of that particular hobby, in your personal life ? You've found it ? Now hold tight to it ! That's the key :)

    Do it, not for other to see or to judge, and not even for you !!! Do it for the feeling. Do it because it fills your life with joy, on the fleeting moment you're doing it.
    "Yeah, but it's fleeting, so what's the point ?" : Everything is fleeting in life, and the beauty of it is you can go back to this beautiful fleeting whenever you want.

    You can't to back to it whenever you want ? Organize it weekly !

    The beauty of life is her fleetingness :)
    Death gives us purpose ! If we were immortals, we would be free to be lazy all the time, because why the fuck not ? We'll have all the time in our lives. But no ! We are mortals, and that's great ! We have to give our own lives meaning, that's what make our own live worth living. Nobody can give you purpose : you have to give it to yourself. And you know what ? You already have one ! (Or more !)

    You remember what it is ? Good ! Now dig ! Dig into it ;)

    And also : who gives a fuck about "being good at it" ? You only have to please you, and more so, you only have to feel the progression you're making.
    It's ugly ? It's sound false ? It's not as good as you want it to be ? It's not worth hanging on a museum ? Good, at least you're doing something, and it felt good.

    My drawings are rarely satisfying to look at, in my point of view, but at least, when I look at them, I remember the feeling of drawing it, and it leads me to drawing more and more.



    About free time : it has to be managed as well. You know in your heart when you've spend too much time doing nothing.

    How much is it ? Now write it down.

    Was it 30 minutes ? 1 hour ? 2 hours ? Write down the time you really need relaxing. Next, program it.

    At the end of the programmed relaxing time : do the next thing you wrote down to do ;)

    Even if it's only 15 or 30 minutes of writing, or reading a book about hiking , or looking at an on-line tutorial of wood-working. It will feel sooooo good doing it ! IT'S BETTER THAN PORN !

    That's right ! Better than porn ! It will give purpose to the relaxing time : to give your body time to recover from the day, and replenish the level of energy you need to follow your hobbies.

    You don't have to become the best of the best at acting, or singing, and all the things society values through reality shows and all.

    Find your thing. The thing that make you, you.
    (if acting or singing it is, then so be it ;))

    Become your own master ! The warrior of metal-working, the goddess of picture-framing, the supreme-maker of home-made cloths !

    Become your own living legend :cool:


    HELL YEAH !
     
  2. Gunners93

    Gunners93 Fapstronaut

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    Right on!
    Be a stronger person. Mentally, physically and spiritually
     
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  3. YOGESH CHANDRA BHATT

    YOGESH CHANDRA BHATT Fapstronaut

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    Its just awsome bro. JUST AWSOME
     
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  4. kevinkevin19

    kevinkevin19 Fapstronaut

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    I've always used porn as entertainment when I'm bored and every time I did I got lazy to do other stuff even the important ones. Now I realized that there are a number of things that I can do when I'm bored that can even be productive like reading a book, working out, or playing a sport.
     
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  5. RightWolf

    RightWolf Fapstronaut

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    thanks, good info.
     
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  6. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    You absolutely have no idea how many of my to-do lists have gone in vain... Keep trying i guess
     
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  7. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    It'll always be hard lo leave the laziness behind, but as you said, is possible. We just to focus and be strong about it, developing good habits is vital right now and always, we all can do it
     
  8. Jason123

    Jason123 Fapstronaut

    Awesome advice! Thanks!
     
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  9. Musta

    Musta Fapstronaut

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    Bumping old threads is a good thing when it's a thread like this one. Awesome stuff!
     
  10. RetroMike

    RetroMike Fapstronaut

    THIS right here is what I NEEDED to Hear!
     
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  11. Yes, this is awesome. We beat our laziness little by little by actually having something to do, a purpose big enough, and sticking to it.

    Over time, we get used to 'working' rather than sitting in our asses
     
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  12. EverythingIsConnected

    EverythingIsConnected Fapstronaut

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    So, therefore, addictions go away because we've found better ways to use our time. More engaging ways to live our lives instead of constantly being bored. Makes sense.
     
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  13. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Excellent point, watching pron was definitely a great form of entertainment. Unfortunately becoming addicted to porn and having the rest of my life be put on hold as I feed my addiction was/is so damaging. I can't blame all my problems on Porn, but being addicted to porn made me very lazy, unhappy, and so much more.
    Thanks for the post.
     
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  14. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    Such a monumentally good post!
     
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  15. Marr

    Marr Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for that, I needed that. Been finding everything so boring and too lazy to try new things.
     
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  16. EverythingIsConnected

    EverythingIsConnected Fapstronaut

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  17. Flossy Carter

    Flossy Carter Fapstronaut

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    Bump...
    Everyone needs to see this amazing thread.
     
  18. Waow ! 0_0

    I haven't been around for a long while (I'll explain in my reboot journal) and I just discovered how much you supported and liked my thread.
    Thank you all so much ! You are all great !!

    I'm still having difficulties with PMO to this day, but I can assure you my life is sky-rocketing lately !
    My planning is still my best life-partner.
    I'll soon have my first house.
    My wife and I are still together after 11 years.
    I quite my job to launch a independent and full time creative career.
    All my days are adventures.


    At last, I feel that I have found the guiding thread of my life. I intend to hold on tight to it !
     
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  19. Teej

    Teej Fapstronaut

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    Good luck man. Your thread is not the first time i visited. It is really helpful and I was in a panic state some time before and hit the emergency button and read your thread. I realize that I can't sail this ship alone, I need people like you and other fapstronauts to guide and help when the winds are not in your favor. Thanks again!
     
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  20. Waow thanks a lot Teej ! I had no idea my thread did help that much. That comes as a real shocker, in a beautiful way !
    I feel that I embraced the right path as I am filled with the love I get on this forum.

    Again, thank you very much !
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2018

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