I Am Ashamed and Worthless

Sounds like you're doing some deep work, my friend. I think you will realize more and more how this all connects for you. Years ago, I saw how shame affected me and my actions in a profound way. What I took from that experience was that I was determined to live my life in a way that wasn't shameful. Esteemable people do esteemable acts. I haven't been perfect, and of course, with porn, I don't have much time abstinent, but, in many areas of my life I've been able to grow and progress and live a more principled, happy life. Anyway, again, sounds like you're doing deep work and I congratulate you on reflecting and delving into your conscience. Hope you keep it up!

 

It might sound weird to hear this but by admitting that your problem with PMO stems from somewhere else and that the addiction is a symptom and not the cause, you are already making more progress than you think you are. While NoFap can and will help you, combating your underlying psychological issue is what will help you in the end. NoFap is a smaller piece of a larger puzzle, and one day when you figure things out and become healthy again (both physically and mentally), you will look back and wonder why you ever worried at all. I have faith you can and will find the answers you seek, good luck.

 

please go and watch videos on pornonbrain. its a website that has videos and how at the chemical and neurons levels in the brain can affect someone to be shameful and worthlessness. but the minute you say i want to quit porn and you keep to it...those chemicals that make you think and feel bad diminishes slowly....sometimes very hard but they go away and the neurons connection to the part of the brain that makes you smart and feel worthy gets a lot and keeps growing...and you eventually become to know the person you once were. how worthy you are. trust me. this is at the neurons and chemicals level.

please watch those videos. the answers are in it. and please quit porn. try harder. write down on piece of paper what porn has done to you. the more videos you watch the more time you go...."omg, that happens to me" "omg, i have that symptom" "omg...i experience that!!..." the more you watch the video...the more you realize why and how you are affected by porn and its side effects.

then it WILL HIT YOU!!! HOLLY FREAK!!! I MUST QUIT PORN...then all of a sudden..everything gets real!!!

then you will give your best to quit porn. take it one day at a time. it will work...

people go from feeling shyt....worthless to .....getting to know who you are and feel better in 30 days ....absolute results in 90 days...

these are not just numbers...these are by scientific how many days you brain needs to repair.

please trust me. please watch the video. dont you dare give up on yourself...i really want to see the day you finally realize who you are. please do this for me son!

 

Many things have gone into that progress. Besides wanting to be better, I reached out for help, and became friends with others who were progressing in the same direction (maintaining sobriety, in this case), I also went to meetings, read literature, took personal inventory of my resentments, fears, lies, and selfishness on a nightly basis, I prayed, meditated, worked with other people trying to help them, etc. It's a whole lifestyle of growth. Some of these things you may not need to do, but it's all helped me to remain honest, open-minded, and willing. Now, all of those things have helped to keep me sober from drugs/alcohol, but it's those SAME things that I'll need to help me abstain from PMO. And in my case, PMO is a much more addictive thing than drugs/alcohol ever were. So it's been tough, but I'm finally doing this deal.

 

You seem to be a reflective, artistic sort. I can identify with this as a writer. It has always been hard for me to approach a woman with the intent of entertaining a relationship, not least because of the potential disruption I feared it might cause in my inner world, which I felt I had always to guard in order to ensure the steady flow of creativity. In my case, it was easier to resort to PMO, because it obviously made no demands on me as a relationship would. I see all this more clearly now than before. Too many of us have relied on PMO as a substitute for a relationship and paid a heavy price.

 

Feel ashamed? I can relate. Worthless? Ditto. You clearly are ashamed of your behavior, but you are NOT a worthless human being.

Unless you want to be, of course. However, you're on this site, which tells me you want to find ways to better yourself as an individual. Stripping porn from your life is a great first step.

I'm an artistic person myself. Certain types of artistic people tend to be very self-conscious, but also self-centered. Learn to disassociate yourself from these constant thoughts about me, me, me, worthless, worthless, worthless, etc. These are delusions and won't help you.

I repeat: you are not worthless. In you is something only YOU can share with the world. You just need to unlock that potential. Stay strong, man.

 

HI yes you are right. yourbrainonporn is correct. here are the videos.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

also go to youtube and watch this



trust me...this porn addiction makes you feel like the way you do.