In need of serious advice: Porn, Sexuality & Relationships

Hey man, I dont have the answers to your question as I havent reached far in my quitting journey yet but I would say not to worry about your range of interests affecting your future with a partner. I think even when we have successfully quit P we will still have desires and curiosities, but will be less driven to follow them if we are in a happy relationship and have the self control behind us from already staying away from P. I myself had similar interests in the past and I feel like staying away from P has helped reduce desires for others and allowed me to focus on my girl. Hopefully someone else can give you a better answer but I hope I have helped!

 

Hey man welcome,

What you've described sounds like the typical escalation and extreme genre changes caused by excessive or long-term porn use. Regular porn gets boring, trans may eventually get boring too. It never ends. Luckily, the neural pathways are able to mostly change, and with time your unnatural attractions can be reversed.

It will take some time, possibly years, or possibly just a few months, but it can happen. Have a look through the success stories and you'll find good examples. Myself, I was into bi/crossdresser, trans, and a few other taboo genres.

I've completely moved on from the trans/bi interests now. And while I haven't removed porn from my life completely (yet), I make sure when I do go there that it's just vanilla (or ideally solo female) to be as normal as possible. I started around 10yo and much of the early content I consumed was trans.

A break in the exposure to this media is necessary to find out who we really are!

 

Sounds like escalation (as you watch porn you need more novelty to reach arousal). Maybe you like trans b/c it is feminine as opposed to masculine.

maybe you’re a little bi-curious. I think many people are.

Best way to tell is reboot. Get a clear head with no PMO and see what you’re attracted to.

 

Yo guys i just need some advice really. So my problem is that i think i am escalating. It all started when i begun to experience hocd(before porn i would not even consider relationship with dudes not homophobic i know a couple of gay guys and i was never mean to them but i just would not care and i would never consider being with them) i was so depressed but after a couple of months the anxiety was gone but the thoughts were disturbing now i still have those thoughts but they dont annoy me that much but i feel that i dont know who i am anymore. My entire life i always had crushes on girls even from a really young age (6 years old) yes you read correctly. Anyways so my problem is that i did not used to get a boner from transgender porn but now i do i cant get a boner from gay porn but i am afraid that i will because of escalation. Before porn i was 100percent sure that i was straight after that i dont know. I believe that those tests of imagining your self being in a relationship with any gender and asking yourself how you feel about it dont work because of the novelty and the curiosity that porn has caused. I believe that in order to know your orientation you have to go back before porn addiction and think of your crushes and turn ons. I just need someone elses opinion...

 

That’s escalation. Stop PMOing and see what happens

 

Yes but i think j am still having fucking HOCD i dont know i have been one day without porn and i am not aroused by any fantasies now luckily i believe it is a sign of reboot but as the escalation goes on i have been having some weird feelings. When i talk on friends and i dont think of a shit we just have fun and the annoying thoughts are gone but when i think of my porn addiction there is something like a lil kick that is trying to convince me that i find a guy attractive when in reality i dont. ( I know this is true because before my porn escalation those things were non existent to the same people) Yet again i repeat when i dont think of it it is gone. I just need a second opinion from someone. Do you think it is HOCD??

 

First, one day w/o porn is t a good test. Wait until 1-3 months without it.

is it HOCD? I dunno. Not a therapist don’t know how long you’ve used porn or what you watch. Just relax, first of all. You’re probably not gay. The biggest problem with HOCD obsessing over if you’re H. Let your mind clear.

 

Bro before porn the thought disgusted me (not homophobic in my defense if a gay guy thought he was straight how would he feel??) I was the type of guy that from the age of 6 i was giving lessons to my parents on how to pick up girls(yes from that young)

 

So i believe that for porn addicts who have confused their sexual orientation in order to get a fast result you must ask yourself what you liked before porn. Because think about it...The novelty and the curiosity is what gives you an arousal but if it is able to give you a "false" arousal why would it not be able to give you a "false" attraction. I dont know if anybody agrees.But lets just say for a moment that anyone who has an attraction to men after porn is gay. But why did they start from straight porn?? Why did they only have crushes on girls and just wanted to kick a mans ass whenever they disrespected him??What did they just turned gay?? No i dont think so. I know some gay people (never had an attraction to them and i said i was not homophobic because i was literally the only person in my class who never said shit about them.Why??Not because i had a thing for them, not because i was cryptohomophobic but because that is bullying and i know that it is a bad thing). So back to the tests... Because of the confusion i searched some tests about how to test if it is hocd or denial??One was the beach one. when you go to a beach where everyone does not wear that much what do you see the most??(this was a question that i read from a psychiatrist)The answers were simple Gay men said with no problem that women were standing in their way of watching guys. Bisexual men said sometimes women sometimes men no problem and straight men said only women not guys(Non of this guys was porn addicted) But if you ask a straight porn addict he will say both.Why?? Is he bi?? No his brain is so deep down the rabbit hole that he is actually convinced himself that he is gay and he subconsciously checks whether he gets an arousal from the men. A psychologist expert on ocd wrote an article specifically for hocd( i read those months ago no link) and said that gay people don't question whether they are gay or not denial means when you deny something not questioning it so yeah if i was sure i was gay i would not be writing here. I have a thread of my story that clears things up and i explain my shit. I was fine until porn came never again. I wont let it destroy me!!!