Is this what men think?

Objectively speaking as a woman, I also don't really understand why the video gets so much criticism. That men are more visual than women by natural instinct is a scientific fact and the video makes several examples of society reflecting that difference in male and female natural instinct (strip clubs, nude magazines etc). And the guy in the video even says, natural instincts are no excuse for anything, it's all a matter of willpower and self-control, which every human being is capable of and responsible for.

 

Sighhhhhhhh........ Obviously, my comment wasn't clear enough for you. Let's make it clear. Men look at other women, even when they are with their SOs. This is the rule. Some men don't look at other women when they are with their SOs. This is the exception. When I am (hardowner) with my SO, I don't look at other women. This is what makes me an exception. In terms of p addiction, I'm a plain addict, not something significant. I hope I'm crystal clear now...

Wrong. First of all, my gf is an ex gf since October 2016. Let's travel back in time. When she used to be my gf, I got erections even when looking at prostitutes, other hot women in bars or even in the street. The erection gets triggered by what I see. My D doesn't have a password, so any woman can trigger me without being my gf.

Don't be so sure. She was shy and apart from her bedroom, there was clear view of the rest of her apartment from the other apartments opposite to hers. So after the action, we used to get dressed before leaving the bedroom.

Canceled.

Finally, I found another Prager University video, of course crap and BS. As long as there are people interested in what really happens with men and my intention is to show both men and women that they don't have to worry or feel guilty, I post it:

 

All of this talk about cakes, pies, and desserts, someone had to post a PSA.

 

Well, excuse me, I didn't see you specify that she was an ex-girlfriend. Also, I'm not wrong since you clearly misunderstood my point. I never said you were only sexually aroused by your girlfriend. I said that the arousal for your girlfriend is different from your arousal for "prostitutes" or "other hot women in bars or even in the street". When you have connected with a person emotionally and feel sexually attracted to them emotionally, you will also view their physical appearance from an emotional perspective. That doesn't mean you are not able to be sexually attracted to other women too. But you see those other women as mere sex objects, while your girlfriend is an object of your sexual desire for emotional and physical intimacy.

I assumed wrong then, my apologies. Although I don't think you necessarily had to be casually naked with your girlfriend to confirm that it is possible to be naked with your significant other and not be aroused by their physical appearance.

 

No.1 - never trust a man who names his university after himself

No.2 - did he really just quote the “Daily Fail” as evidence? *facepalm*

 

The video doesn't clarify if that "finding other women attractive" is meant aesthetically or sexually, because for men, they usually go hand in hand if they are actively choosing to look at and turn their head towards other women, especially if it's a woman in a bikini. In that case, I could care less about him choosing to want me over other women. If he looks at them in a way that he feels sexually attracted to them, then he is momentarily expressing that he wants them sexually too. I don't care if he doesn't want them romantically or emotionally, but wanting my significant other sexually is part of my romantic commitment to him.

 

@AngelofDarkness I agree. I think there is a difference in noticing that a person has an attractive face shape, or is tall (and is an attractive quality), and looking at the person as a sexual object and desiring them sexually.

For instance, my husband doesn't notice anyone around him, he just isn't observant. I always notice my surroundings and I notice guys with good hair (aka skater boy hair) because that is a physical thing I think is attractive on most men. That doesn't mean I start thinking of them sexually. It just means I noticed the guy had nice black straight skater hair.

Like if a guy thought black hair was attractive and he noticed a woman with black hair walk by, and he looked at her hair (not her body) that is different than looking at her body.

for me it's like body is more of a sexual notice, not always, but more likely than not it can be if staring in certain area's (boobs, butt, stomach, legs) and literally going Dexter on them in their mind by cutting the person up into body parts, and they are no longer a person by the end of the "notice" (aka ogle/fantasy).

 

I agree, this is exactly what I meant. I think the female body is the strongest visual trigger for a man, especially in terms of "biologically programmed" triggers. I think that's what I've also been reading on this forum as advice for not objectifying women, to focus on a woman's face and see her emotions, rather than focusing on her body parts. Also the 'three second rule' is supposed to help to just notice another person's physical appearance, but not start to objectify them by continuing to focus on naturally sexually triggering physical features. That's also why I find the context of the video a bit questionable, a beach full of scantily clad/half-naked/naked women will be very hard to resist when only wanting to "notice" other people.

 

The reaction to this video depends on your target demographic.

When addressing a female who asked me what I think of that video.

I would repeat their question slowly first [buying more time, common salesman technique] Then I would calmly say.

"This video is a terrible representation of men in general. If men think that way, then they are simply justifying the age old adage 'it is alright to objectify women and treat them as objects, which is garbage.' The reason I was drawn to you sweetheart . . . is because of your smile, humour and caring nature. You could strip yourself of all your physical traits and I'd still stand by you always and forever. Honestly, the only thing that makes me happy is seeing you happy [wait for them to melt then shoot them a sideway cheeky smile] in addition to that lingerie I got for your birthday "

When addressing the males in regards to that video I would say.

"I can't believe she bought that!" [Then we'd shoot some pool and guzzle some beers]

 

Sounds like Jak needs some pepper spray. I wouldn't like to get jumped

 

^^This. . . Beautiful.

 

I'm strongly lead to believe that the video is trying to justify exactly that. And a majority of people who are still brainwashed by the media and porn will probably agree with that message. Because "men are entitled to objectify attractive women because it's their natural instinct". But we as SOs should not care, because "it doesn't matter", because at the end of the day, he chooses to take us out on dates and give us his (half-assed) attention, and not them.

 

I would love to take a shot at answering this. *disclaimer* whenever i post with a woman in the "Rebooting in a Relationship" section I end up angering somebody. Here goes!

When the human race originally formed in the plains for Northwestern Africa, the species didn't have much going for it. We weren't that fast, had no claws, could barely climb trees and were missing all sorts of physical attributes that would allow for a species to thrive.

What we did have, however, was male promiscuity. Unlike other animals, we breed year round. Males became wired to procreate as much as possible. I read in a science journal once that our average target number of pregnancies was 16. That continues for the life of the male ( which back then was about 32 years old ).

This behavior became necessary to stay alive and grow our population. As happens with any evolutionary process, our genetic system started to influence our "targeting" so as to guarantee a healthy gene pool. That meant that the male's seed needed to be placed in as many different gene pools as possible. By virtue of natural selection, the males that had the widest range of "interests" saw his genetic material continue on, while the ones that were more rigid in their preferences ran the risk of their genetic imprint dying off.

What does this mean? Our taste in women changes wildly, depending on circumstance. Dating a blond girl? You become fascinated with brunettes. Married to a tall wife? Short girls start to drive you crazy. Long term girlfriend with small chest? You get the point...

Anyway, I hope that is helpful in understanding what is going on inside. It's certainly not helpful from a monogamous relationship standpoint, but it might help you see why we're so quickly addicted to porn. Every video is different. Our senses constantly collate, log and compare the differences between all the females in the videos while we're in a trance-like state. It's this sick, explosive combination of primitive impulses combined with the infinite selection of technology.

 

Haha yeah, I don't act on it though, I just sit there and appreciate him and hope that he also is interested! Though I think he does like it when I just go over to him and kiss him randomly, I think he gets confused which is cute.

 

I am not an exception

 

Lmao at that video. Omg.
What a quack. This is so chicken vs. Egg. Men are visual because it's shoved in their faces from childhood. Porn, advertising, tv shows etc don't exist because men are perverts. They CREATE the pervert. They are no more visual than women. It's just that women AREN'T BEING TARGETED BY THE MEDIA AND PORN to lust after flesh.
Go ahead America. Cram the ideal Photoshopped male body down our throats through advertising for makeup, tampons, kitchen gadgets, food, laundry soap, etc. and do this for decades. See how quickly women flock to this site on the other side of the table.
Brainwash anyone with any kind of visual for long enough and they'll become the monster you so desired. Hell, replace all the slutty women in ads with poodles and and they'll develope an interest in them.

 

Well said.

 

Let make this concise.

Men -> visual
Women -> emotion

Yes, there is exception. Relying simply on personal experience is not good enough to claim that isn't true.

Look or no look at other women or whatever else, please establish boundary with your so specifically and respect each other. Every relationship is unique.

 

Hahahaha, I ain't too obsessed with the girlfriend thing. I am a guy and I never been in relationship with a woman before and I rather not too. I just rather keep myself busy and preoccupied with my time and needs. You know, staying busy with myself.

 

I have been to BOTH male and female strip clubs . I can tell you for a FACT that the women absolutely misbehave more outwardly with whooping and hollering and grabbing than the men clientele . I don’t know if it’s because we are looked at as smaller , therein the dancers feel safe ? Go see and then tell me women aren’t visual , sexual beings , tell me we are emotional not visual