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Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Fordfanboy2010, Nov 22, 2015.
That's a great quote man! May be my new motto haha
@Fordfanboy2010 I like your thinking. I lost my virginity later than most. And to this day I regret it. I Got depressed after the girl for more than six months.
Yeah... sex is nothing. Making love, everything.
So true! I don't want to just have sex. I want to make love. I has to mean something for me.
Last February I turned 20 and a co-worker at the time told me that as a gift she wanted to be my first for my birthday. I told her no because I don't want to be that guy that does one night stands and I want to wait till marriage. Till this day there are times when I think that I made a huge mistake and that idk if I said no because I want to celibate or because of Pmo. Anyways I turn 21 in a couple of months and there is a small part of me that feels like a loser since I am still a virgin tbh.
I would say you dodged a bullet on that one, friend. That doesn't sound like the type of person you want to give such a special, intimate gift to. You're not a loser in the slightest, you're a winner! Because instead of wasting your heart on a bunch of women you won't remember, your first time will mean something (hopefully).
Sorry, I'm totally biased with this convo because I'm super pro waiting til marriage. With all the disappointing comparisons I have just from kissing other guys before my husband, I can't imagine having sexual experience to compare him to as well. Comparisons just happen, whether you want them to or not. I'm happy to just be happy with him and not have to wonder if anyone else might be better in bed, because it doesn't matter.
Word, your absolutely right. Almost all of my friends brag about being on tinder and smashing all these girls. Plus yo Its crazy that the few people I told about wanting to wait till marriage look at me CRAZY whenever I tell them that but I guess we just got to change the norms! I remember once years ago I told my mom that I wanted to be celibate and she smiled and said no don't worry just make sure you wear condom lol smh
Lol yeah, unfortunately staying pure until marriage is soooo not normal these days. I've been getting those looks/comments my whole life. Or just people who assume it's impossible or give you that, "Yeah, okay, like that's really gonna happen," look. lol but hey, guess what, it did! Boom! Face.
Sorry, but i dísagree. I know sex must be more valuated. But, until marriage it's not the only way to do it. There are another countries where people do not use to get married legally, because of a lot of reason. I prefer this another statement: "Sex should be a special chapter in a love story". In the hollywood movies, sex usually is the prologue.
To each his own. I think your view on sex is definitely better than most, as casual sex is the biggest danger, I think.
My views are primarily founded in my religion, so I don't expect everyone to agree, if they don't share those same beliefs.
I am at peace with the fact I am a virgin but I don't want to stay a virgin forever.
I don't get pressured to lose my virginity but its not a big secret that I have never had sex. I am saving myself until marriage. But I do feel odd, I have never had a real girlfriend, never have had a first kiss because I've never allowed myself to be in a relationship with anyone.
@Lazarus Shuttlesworth Take it from me, your one in few men who would've said no. And one of few men who will hold that special thing for some special lady.
I wasted mine, and it was horrible. That woman!!!! ASDFG. SDADA!! WAS! For a female ego to take mans virginity is very very seductive..(always be careful of women like that). N they tell u this crap. They just want YOU TO BE A NOTCH ON their #$^%#&$#@ BELT Just Fyi. Sex is nothing. Casual sex = garbage. Making love on the other hand!!! THE BEST!
Female "I like you" or whatever. If she really liked you. I think shed be more serious. Have relationship n stuff! The right way.
LOTSA BAD LADIES love to manipulate men to get want they want. AND THEY KNOW IT. AND THEY ARE GOOD AT IT. Save your virginity brother.
Yeah I plan on waiting for someone special like a wife. And Im honestly trying to find a polite way to cut her off. I still chill with her sometimes. Few months ago I realized that it was a toxic relationship. How do u politely cut off a toxic friend from your life?!
I presume u have told her all of this, and then she says "ok" and later nags you somewhat subtly at least?
IMO you can try to force her to go with you properly. But honestly, women have so much options these days, it is one in ten thousand. And its gonna fail and make u depressed. (if u really like her) Sorry to tell you, the traditional values have gone to the toilet with our people, and women usually once they have gone down that road, its all over. This means you have to be extra disciplined. THere are definitely good ladies out there, but they are hard to find. Dont look in bars or clubs.
Cut her off. Before you give in. There are always more women. Maybe after u don't talk a while she will get it. Remember the apple? Think of her as Eve, tempting you, you are Adam.
I haven't been direct about it tbh, I just slowly stopped answering her calls and text messages. And we don't chill as much as we used to. I think she lowkey knows I'm trying to ignore her but that doesn't phase her. Do I like her? Physically at times yes. I think she looks beautiful. But she has a Shitty personality. She's very pessimistic, controlling, manipulative, insecure and I'm just not my true self around her.
AHa . My older friend from the gym once said to me. "If she want you to hit it, you must never kiss it". Don't sell yourself out for a vagina. Ever. THat is the worst thing a man can do. We teach women through this behavior that they can get away with acting subhuman because they have a vag; guess what? Through our own permission do we create this degeneration of us fellow men.
IMO: Man up and tell her straight up. Polite with respect. Women have to know men have sexual rights AND FEELINGS too. We are not dogs that go put our prick into anything with legs.
Put the shoe on the other foot too. IF it was a woman? Then you would be such a gentleman with her right. And u wouldn't pressure her to have sex. ETC. You're virginity is worth just as much as a woman. Society has lied to you my friend.
Ah, the ol' "how do you break up with someone you're not actually dating" question. Haha I've had to do that before and it. Was. Awkward.
Idk what your relationship is like with this girl (are you strictly friends or in a kind of "we like each other but aren't really sure" kinda deal?), but I've been in a similar situation and I treated it like any normal break up, honestly.
I sat down, thought about what I wanted to say and how I was feeling and how to make those feelings clear in a gentle way, and then I texted him to meet up and I talked to him. it wasn't the worst break up of my life, but that's mostly because he's amazing, so idk if this chick will handle things as well. Lol but I would say just be direct and honest. Sometimes (oftentimes, really) the hardest road is the best one in the end.
After like 2 weeks of knowing her she told me I was her best friend. I didn't want to sound rude so I let that slide. To me we are just friends. At first she would always tell people that I'm like a brother to her and that I'm too young. Months later she wanted to take my v card.. Your right tho, I need to be direct, I just don't have the balls to do it. For now I'm just slowly ignoring her and making excuses on why I don't want to chill with her. Hopefully she'll catch the message sooner or later
btw sorry for making a whole new thread in this thread lol
I gotta be brutally honest here... As a lady... The whole "ignoring someone and hoping they get the hint" is not the nicest way to do things :/ I know it's hard and she might be mad, but in the end, if you want to do right by her, I would say a conversation needs to happen so she can move on. I have so much respect for a lot of men who have broken my heart quickly so I didn't waste my time, but I don't look back fondly on the ones who did the opposite.
@Lazarus Shuttlesworth - I agree with @TakingTheSteps, "ignoring someone and hoping they get the hint" is just not right. You do not need to be blunt with her - 'you've got a shitty personality, you are very pessimistic, controlling, manipulative, insecure' etc. However, you should tell her something truthful, including the fact that you want to break the communication. Remember, "do to others as you would like them to do to you".
Yeah you guys are right, I'll give her a call this weekend and let her know what's up