I've nearly ruined my life at 23. Help me change.

Hello fellow addicts.

That's right. We're addicts. I'm an addict. To both porn and YouTube. I have wasted countless, countless hours of my youth and my time at university on porn and watching meaningless shit. It makes me feel ill to think of it. But confronting it is what I need to do.

I had qualities and prospects a lot of men would kill for. I'm an intelligent young guy. I'm quite handsome. I have lived a wonderful, comfortable life and have the most incredible parents and younger brother. I had interests and dreams and I cared. I cared about people. I was kind. I could have aced my degree but I've scraped by. I could have learned guitar. I could have written poetry. I could have done so much with the time lost to porn. I want to be a film writer/director but I have barely picked up a camera to pursue it as a passion (which is the only way to truly succeed at something).

But porn is holding me back. It's led to bad behaviour. 2017 has been all about promiscuity. A lot of weed. Some cocaine here and there. My obsession with sex led me to cheat on my incredible ex girlfriend. She doesn't know (we broke up because I moved universities). She's doing so well now without me and to tell her at this point would really break her heart. But we still talk as friends and the gravity of the secret weighs down on me all the time, made worse by the fact that I can't seem to quit porn.

I'm at the end of my degree, angry at the time I wasted on porn and without any clue about what to do with the rest of my life. I have a thesis due in six weeks that I'm only a third of the way through. All sense of work ethic and drive went out the window long ago. In fact, I can trace that all the way back to age of 17/18 when I started consuming porn heavily.

I proclaim liberal views and beliefs in feminism but objectify women as sex objects on nights out. I've slept with ten people this year. I don't even remember one of their names. I have become a liar, both to myself and my friends and family. But especially myself.

I want my life back, I want my potential back, I want my zest for life back. I hate that I can't reclaim those lost hours upon hours. I miss my ex. But I have to accept that these things are gone and the only course of action is to change so that I don't waste anymore time on this destructive habit.

Please help and support me through this, guys. It's going to take a lot of strength.