Just relapsed in a hard way - Starting my Reboot 01st Nov. 2023

Hello,

I messed up big time. I am ashamed of myself. What I did wants me to kill myself, that is what i learned today. At the same time, i want to continue, in this form with the streak. Follow to watch what is going on today - updating daily. Inspired by jesus knows how many people, let's see if i am one of them.

I am so ashamed of myself right now, i cannot describe it. But it's ok. I will recover somehow. I didn't even like it. But oh well, I did it.

Is this ever going to end? i dont know. But you can follow to see if it works, i will give no bullshit answers.

 

Day #01 - 1st November 2023 - Streak 00

Relapsed today. The emotions (Anxiety, Shame,"Paranoia") were very intense, due to the circumstances of my relapse - but the panic button helped me alot. I shouldn't lean on that for help though.
I am motivated to change my life and the direction of it.

In the course of the next few months I want to achieve the following:

• Quit PMO
• Heal from my fetishes and OCD
• Quit Nicotine
• Quit Alcohol
  
• Quit Gambling

I am starting this month with PMO, Alcohol and Gambling starting now.

Tomorrow starts work again, which will be a good distraction. Going for a long walk helped me tremendously today to sort out my emotions and thoughts.
If you have any advice for emotions and chaotic thoughts - i will be very grateful for your comment!

Let's Go.

 

Day #02 - 2nd November 2023 - Streak 01

First things first I made it through my first day. Urges are coming up the later the night goes, but as far as the day went I was fine with little to none urges.

Emotionally still very fucked up, but better than yesterday by a mile. Spent the whole day looking at success stories for inspiration and I am determined that this is my new lifestyle not merely a streak. I am confident that I am changing.

Another point which will come as the last thing I want to change is my second biggest addiction: gaming. I found the website through another Fapstronaut https://gamequitters.com which will be my focus maybe 6 months from now.

Thanks for reading!