Looking to share success

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by speed861, Apr 12, 2019.

  1. speed861

    speed861 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone,

    I came onto the forum to share a bit about my story and I'm glad to say also my transformation and success over a long journey.

    I struggled with an addiction to masturbation and porn that started to take hold in my early 20's. By my late 20's this had become more of an issue as I started to get more into what I would consider distributing pornography mostly related to humiliation porn. The way that I felt about myself and the way I felt around women was extremely distressing for me. I also some experiences of paid sex during this time which was a major source of shame for me.

    I went through a very long and painful process of changing my conditioning and the way I felt about myself. This started with moving to lesser and lesser damaging pornography and masturbation habits which then led into NoFap. I successfully went on a many long runs of NoFap which really helped me to start rebooting my sexuality and my mind. From here I started to move more into shaping, channeling and transmuting my sexual energy into a healthy place. Although I am still in the process of doing this and I believe I will continue this indefinetly, I feel like I am at a point where I have a very healthy sexual drive and functioning, my sexual thoughts are what I consider to be very natural and pure, my self-esteem and self-worth are at a very high level, I have seen very significant benefits in terms of my energy levels, motivation, clarity of thought, and also my interactions with women are very enjoyable and I have noticed that more women have an attraction to me.

    My interest in coming on this forum is to give back from what I have learned from my own experiences. I still do suffer from shameful feelings and sharing and helping others struggling in this process I hope will also help me in alleviating these feelings for myself as well.
     
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  2. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    Hello, welcome here. The reward is the result.
     
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  3. Xaviar.marshall

    Xaviar.marshall Fapstronaut

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    Hey I need help...im freaking out...
    My story is that I slowly began to notice the penis more in porn...i thought is was odd but I blew it off as just porn...but then one fateful night my friend said he was gonna write a song about me....and that scared me because I smiled hard....in my mind it was like a slow incline from constantly asking myself if I like dudes..to checking my reaction yo gay porn...from checking if I acted a certain way..or did something that may have been gay..ti where I am now...not feeling any thing tword these thoughts but that freaks me out because what if I convinced myself I was gay...i also watched alot of porn from strait to trans...3d to hentai...i never got to gay porn and I never wanted to..i also began to do cum tributes on ig just to see it..then I eventually got hooked on that...so time goes by then I find my self with extreme anxiety and shaking and when I wake up....this is almost constant when I wake up...so later on i felt my reaction to the thoughts decreasing...they We are still there but it's like they have decreased in my reaction...so that began to scare me...because I had always liked females...ever since I could remember I liked females..but these thoughts not producing anything out of me made me question it more...then came the dreams....thr dreams about being homo...i have had 2 or 3 h omo dreams...but then I woke up grinding my teeth and shaking ....then I questioned myself more and more then I monitored how I walked and talked..i would often stay to myself and tell my self you like girls..u will always like girls..this is often reducing my anxiety....but often if I look or see a dude but just by looking up I'll freak out.....i also thought it was internalized homophobia but I was never gay....and then I looked up sex affect and that was today because it could say that u have an underlying fear or u could have devolped it due to anxiety...thrn it caused me to question if this was hocd or not....i need help bros I need a answer
     
  4. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    Just take a look at the threads here and you will realise that many people have the same problem. It's related to porn. I've been there. The greatest fear is not the fact that we think that we might be gay. It's the confusion. I'm 100% sure that I like women, so why do I watch gay porn? Because our brains have been hacked. Our pleasure from the females has been burnt out, so our brain seeks for a new source of pleasure.
     
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  5. Xaviar.marshall

    Xaviar.marshall Fapstronaut

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    It's almost like I'm descusted by females..I loved females but idk what to do now...i have relapsed many times and these constant questioning came about 6 weeks ago..I..i dont know what to do it's like i lost who i was..who I have always been..I dont feel like my self
     
  6. Xaviar.marshall

    Xaviar.marshall Fapstronaut

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    I still get off to the sight of a female..but it feels different now...idk what to do..when I see a female twerking or booty u get hard thinking about what I wanna do to her...but then my dick hurts due to constant masterbation...and then Its like i get scared when i think about fucking a female i get this post in my stomach that i never had before...
     

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