70something days since Dday. I'm the one that husband had sexual thoughts about my daughter (age 18 now) for a year, then he MO thinking about her... Trying to heal, still bleeding.... So I'm going to start this journal thing, but warning... I pissed tonight. There will be language... So my husband identified about a month ago that a show called 100's triggered him for 30 minutes being horny because he watched two girls kissing but not showing any nudity... this is a M-14 show... and he himself said, "I'm not gong to watch it anymore"... so he didn't.. as far as I can tell. But NOW, he started watching a MATURE show on Netflix and is 9 episodes in and in the first 20 minutes of the FIRST episode I just found out there were two girls not just kissing, but full frontal nudity sex scene with climax and all... I just lost it... I'm so fucking pissed that he would allow himself to watch this... the show is known for it's orgy scenes... according to my daughter.. who has only heard about it.... WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING???? He says that he "pushed the limits because I thought he was strong enough and I made a mistake"... ummmm. He was supposed to learn from the Mature 14 show!!! GOD!! I can't put my heart on the line for him to shatter again!! I can't do this!! FUCK HIM!!!! I'M SO MAD I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO DESTROY SOMETHING!!!!! UGH... HE IS SO CARELESS WITH MY HEART!!!! I think he wants me to be proud of him or something like... oh he told his counselor about it and decided that he shouldn't watch shows with sex scenes in them for 180 days.... IT WAS ALREADY DETERMINED THAT HE SHOULDN'T!!! GOD!!!! He doesn't learn and I'm not enough and he doesn't care about my heart. there.... done with the rant... this just happened and sigh... I feel a little better now... a little.... but still.... fuck him.