Moving out of the house in order to become a man...

So I'm 25 years old. The holidays sucked bc I was around my family and their friends AKA surrounded by alcohol and over-indulgence. Most of the people that frequent this household are pretty toxic (but not obviously so). Most of them are intelligent but have a lot of personal problems and do not do much to help me feel stronger or help me on my journey of self-mastery.

I live in luxury to some extent and it's VERY tempting to stay here and not pay rent especially since my professional life is very underdeveloped (I don't have any degrees, no hard skills except for some low-paying ones). I am well-traveled and worldly but my money-making abilities are underdeveloped and I think that I have the comforts of this household to blame. The chief rationalization I have had for not leaving the nest is that I can stay in this house while I develop skills/take courses/etc which will save me money on rent and stuff. Otherwise, I would have to work, save up money, and struggle to one degree or another to pay the bills and go to school/take courses. The funny thing is that I don't find myself taking advantage of my situation in order to get ahead. Instead, I'm just finding myself becoming lazier and lazier. I wonder if getting out on my own would increase my motivation...

Although this rationalization makes a lot of sense, it is weighing down on me because I have to deal with the constant drama and BS in the house. Plus, I feel a lot of shame about still living with my parents at 25. There is very little honor in my life bc I feel like I haven't accomplished anything and basically live off the work of others. Sometimes I feel so weighed down by the BS in this house that I feel an overwhelming sense of lethargy and self-pity even self-hatred. This makes PMO very tempting of course.

I think it's time to get the hell out of here and become a man AKA become self-reliant even if it means my professional life develops a bit slower... It sucks bc I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place... Thats how my life has been feeling for almost 2 years now honestly...

 

Yeah but I've been doing that for years and it hasn't worked. I've been lazy and miserable. Thats what I've been saying.

 

I am way passed the point of chilling for a few months. It's time for me to make the jump.

 

I must admit that now the question is of where to go. All of these questions are making my mind spin. Sometimes I wish I could just shut off the questioning for a while and just dwell with no thoughts. I guess that's what meditation is for. Too many questions, too much thinking can be a torturous experience which can lead to PMO for an addict. I need to find a way to divert myself away from over thinking without reaching for PMO...

 

Well Im contemplating moving down south with some friends so we will be able to split rent around $600 each.

 

Thanks boys. Today my friend and I are going to hit the gym and then map things out for the move.